Ep #134: Rollercoaster of Life & The Key to 100K

You are listening to episode 134 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where we’re going to ride a roller coaster. Let’s go, coach.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello, coach, how are you? I’m good. I’m recuperating from a cold, so my voice should make it through. And I’m just sending a whole heck of a lot of love out there to everybody in the world today. All right, are we ready? We’re going to be talking about some roller coasters. We’re going to be talking about the roller coaster of life, but more importantly how that is the key to earning 100k.

All of these podcasts in the past couple of weeks have been deep diving into these concepts that we are addressing in the new Path To 100K Mastermind because I know so many of you are looking for the answer. And what you’re going to find in this podcast episode, this one, this one right here, you’re going to find the answer in this episode right here. And it’s going to be everything you thought it was and not at all what you want it to be. And also exactly what you need.

All right, so let’s talk about it. What are we talking about, my friends? We are talking about how you actually go from becoming a paid coach, which is what Free To Paid Coach is going to do for you, to actually becoming a six figure coach. A coach who is making a living as a coach. A coach who doesn’t need another job. A coach who is a full-time coach, or who wants to be a full-time coach, or who just wants to be a part-time coach that just makes them a lot of money.

The path to 100K, that I make enough money that I can sustain myself as a coach. And then I get to make so many other choices. I get to make, like my options just open wide up, right? We’re talking about that path to 100K because this is what you really want to do. And you know the basics, right?

And we’ve been talking about this, we’ve been talking about how we’re going to find everything that’s already working and we’re going to replicate more of that. And we’re going to find everything that’s not working for you right now or that you really hate, and we’re going to eliminate that.

We’re going to keep finding all the ways the patriarchy is in your brain and dismantle that and rewrite that. We’re going to try a bunch of different things, you know, the foundational work that we do in Free To Paid Coach where you learn to believe that you can do this. You’re going to learn to feel all the feelings, you’re going to learn to have your own back.

All the basics of life coaching one on one, right? My thoughts create my feelings, drive my actions, create my results. I’m doing the belief work, Amy. I’m feeling the feelings, I’m taking the actions, where the hell are my results?

So many of my current mastermind members are in this place right now because we started working together in February and now it’s the end of May. And they have some, but maybe not all, some of them are doing fine. Some of them are doing great. Some of them are already making their money back and they are just scaling and scaling. They’re shrinking the amount of time that it takes to make that 10K at a time until they are at 10K months every month, right?

Some of them are like, I’ve made $2,000, I’ve made $3,000, I’ve made $4,000. And they’re starting to feel the pressure of this round of mastermind comes to an end in July and the next round starts in August and I thought I would be a certain place by now.

Everybody understands this, I thought I would be someplace other than I am and I don’t like it, and I’m doing everything right. I’m doing everything I was told to do. I’m believing, I’m feeling, I’m taking action, where the hell are my results? What’s in it for me? What has my business done for me lately? Like I’ve got some Janet Jackson up in here right now, right?

Every coach, every business owner, we don’t even have to be talking about the life coaching industry, every single business owner knows this place right here. We call it the messy middle, the river of misery. That place between having everything you need and believing everything that you need to believe, and having the results of that work. This place in the middle.

This place in here, this is the key to you earning 100K, how you show up in this place in here. This can be a couple of weeks, this can be a couple of months. For me it was 15 months. Some of you all just went, “Fuck that.” My place in here was 15 months. I’ve said this before, I will say it again, my messy middle, my river of misery was 15 months long. For some of you it’s going to be significantly shorter. For some of you it might be longer.

This is the place that determines how you show up in your business. This is the key to your path and this is the key to you earning 100K, is what you make this place mean. Whether it’s a couple of weeks, a couple months, 15 months like it was for me, two years, three years, like it might be for some. This is the place where you realize that point number one, this is it. This is what being an entrepreneur is all about.

It’s like when you read about those Hollywood true stories and the actors talk about people think it’s all parties and red carpets, but it’s really hard work all of the time. You’re going on auditions and you’re getting rejected, and you’re putting in literally years of work. That’s what being an entrepreneur is.

I know it looks like fancy retreats, and designer clothes, and award ceremonies, and guest instructing for industry leaders, and posting about your six figure, your seven figure launch or whatever. I know, that’s what we think it looks like, but this is actually it in here.

It is actually believing when you have no reason to believe because it’s Tuesday afternoon and you’re like, “I haven’t had a consult in three weeks, but I’m believing and I’m taking the action and I’m using all of Amy’s prompts that she gives me in Free To Paid Coach on what to say today. I’ve taken all of the work, I’ve internalized it, I’m doing it.”

It’s actually coaching yourself every single day, even when you feel exhausted. When you’re going into a consult call and you’re so excited and you do the pre-consult call worksheet and you’re feeling really great about it, and then the person on the other line goes, “Oh, wow, I didn’t know it was going to be that expensive.” And you just feel deflated and you feel exhausted. It’s you coaching yourself through that.

Allowing yourself to experience it and also not have to make it mean anything negative about you. Finding out what you are making that mean, getting the coaching you need from yourself, reaching out to your peers inside the mastermind, reaching out to me for coaching, raising your hand. It’s not indulging in confusion or inadequacy.

It’s experiencing confusion and inadequacy when you do 100 things and none of them seem to be working. It’s allowing yourself to have those emotions and to have those moments without you just like diving full on into that pool and like staying there and living there. This is it. If you think like, this is what might weed you out. Let’s be honest, this might weed you out right here. This conversation might weed you out. And that’s okay, I think it’s really important that people know this is it.

Here’s the interesting thing, when you get to where, say I am, where I’m making multiple six figures, even when you get to the multiple seven figures, which I have so many friends that are in that multiple seven figure range now, it’s not that they don’t experience any of that. It’s not that they don’t feel the discomfort of all of that. They just know how to handle that discomfort.

They just don’t make that discomfort mean, oh, I guess I’m not going to hit my goal. Oh, I guess this is never going to happen. They don’t make three, or four, or five, or 10 launches over and over and over again of not hitting their goal mean that they’re never going to hit their goal. They still feel the discomfort of being in that place without making it mean so I guess I might as well just pack up. I guess this isn’t working out for me.

Another analogy to use right here too, this episode is going to be full of analogies. Hop on board, I hope you love them, I’m going to throw about 100 of them at you.

This is really important to understand that for instance, if you are a weight loss coach and you teach your people how not to overeat in food in order to squash the emotions, you know that eventually they’re going to get to this place where they’re still going to have the desire to overeat and they’re still going to feel the discomfort of having that desire. They just won’t indulge in that anymore. They just won’t make that mean oh, I guess I’m never going to lose weight again, or anymore, or whatever, right?

It’s not that that we are removing this stuff. We just don’t stay here. We don’t just decide maybe this isn’t working, I don’t know. We don’t decide, oh, the mastermind is over in two months so I better get these results in otherwise I guess this is never going to happen for me. It’s like no, we just keep going. This is it.

All right, so if this is it, we got some questions and we have some things to point out. How can we make it better? Okay? How can we make it not be the problem? So first of all, let’s address what I know some of all of y’all are thinking. Some of all y’all? Let’s address the thing that I know, like the elephant in the room. Then why are there some people that this doesn’t seem to be a problem for them?

Why does it seem easier for some people than others? Why does it only take a month where it took me 15 months and it will take others even longer? To me this answer is pretty simple. I don’t think this answer is all that complicated. I think maybe the shortest answer is because we’re all different.

But I think we can break down this answer into first of all, it’s how infiltrated patriarchal thinking is in your brain. How much do you make your results today mean negative things about you?

Some people just don’t buy into those made up fucked up rules the way other people do. Some people just don’t indulge in as much people pleasing from the get go. Some people just don’t get as hung up on some of those structures, those patriarchal structures, as other people do.

And it doesn’t mean that they’re smarter. It doesn’t mean that they’re better. Maybe they’re just wired to simply reject this is how you must do it type rules easier than other people.

Like I look at my two boys, more analogies but now we’re using some parenting. I look at my two boys, they have the exact same parents, they’re only two years apart. So they’re essentially raised in the same environment. I’m sure there’s some small tweaks in there. But if I say do not do this thing, one of them will not do that thing and one of them, one of them will look me straight in the eye and do it anyway with a smile. That little shit, right?

Some people are just more wired to be rebellious and not make it mean that there’s anything wrong with them to be rebellious. So all of those patriarchal structures that are standing in your way of being paid, it’s a podcast episode from a month or two ago, I highly recommend that you listen to it after this one, if you haven’t already. Some of those structures just don’t affect them quite as deeply.

It’s not that they’re not there at all, it just doesn’t quite stop them as much. And the assumption that this is just all easier for them is still a mistake because there may be other things that come super easy to you that you disregard the rules of all of the time and it just doesn’t faze you and it paralyzes them, right?

Again, this is not a, oh, they’re wired differently than me when it comes to business therefore they’re better. No, it’s not that at all. To me this is the difference between introverts and extroverts, right? It’s like some people are more wired to get their energy from being alone. Some people are more wired to get their energy from being with people. One is not better than the other, it’s just different wiring. And both of them come with both positive and negative effects in your life in different ways, right?

So some of y’all are more affected by patriarchal, hierarchical, colonial, imperialistic thinking and structures and rules than others. No one necessarily has it any easier. Somebody’s got bullshit showing up somewhere because we are all emotion producing machines.

We all have this emotion producing machine in our head. It is always churning out regret, or fear, or embarrassment, or shame. No one gets out of that. No one gets off this ride that is called the human experience. It’s just that what sparks those feelings may be different in some people than in other people.

You don’t get to avoid being a human, even those coaches who are making six figures in their first year, they’re still experiencing very human stuff. Thinking it’s better where they are instead of where you are, is not only the thief of joy, to quote our President Roosevelt, it’s a terrible use of your energy.

Thinking that where they are is better than where you are has you not loving any part of where you are, not appreciating where you are, and not learning from where you are. And you can’t leave where you are now, if you aren’t learning from where you are now. Like you can’t get past this place if you just want to decide that this place is terrible and awful because you’re not going to solve and you’re not going to learn from how to get out of it just by wishing.

And it’s like listen, you can indulge in all of that, you can put all of your energy into they have it better than me, it’s easier for them than it is for me. If they have it, that means I can’t have it. The question is just why? Why would we spend that energy?

Why would you spend your problem solving brain, why would you solve all of your brilliance, why would you pour all of your brilliance into focusing on how other people have it easier than you when you could be pouring all of that brilliance into serving your people and finding your truth and saying what they really need to hear?

Now, of course, there is a why we don’t do that, and I am going to get to that in a minute. So hold on. Why do it? Well, I’m going to tell you why, everybody does it. So that will hopefully help you stop doing it in the first place.

I also want to point out some people, some highly successful people on paper, are completely white knuckling it. Like a bull in a fricking China shop, they are just plowing their way through without any regards to any feelings whatsoever. And this method can work, it’s just not my favorite method.

This is how you get celebrities who have all of the fame and it feels completely hollow and they hate their life and they turn to self-destruction. This is how you have seven figure coaches who are still terrified that it could all go away tomorrow. Who are so terrified that one misconstrued post is going to get them canceled, who are still people pleasing, who are still telling people what they think those people want to hear, rather than telling them no. Success doesn’t erase any of that. Okay?

So some people are white knuckling their way to success. You can do it, don’t recommend it because you are not going to find confidence on the other end of that at all. And there’s only about 100 previous episodes to back me up on that.

Okay, so if this is it, if this place is it and there isn’t anything anyone else has that you don’t, how do you get through this? How do you get through this messy middle of this river of misery? Because I have to tell you, this is the number one thing that I coach on, this right here. And these thoughts, I don’t know if this is going to be worth it. I keep showing up every week and I keep posting the same results every week, Amy, and I just feel like I’m not getting anywhere.

These things I’ve tried in the past haven’t worked. How do I know that this one is going to work? I don’t have the results to back me up to believe. Why am I doing this at all if I’m not sure it’s going to be successful? These thoughts show up in a million different ways, and they are all understandable. This is where we’re going to get to the why part.

Why do we indulge in this? Because it’s a terrible use of our time. It’s not serving us. It’s not helping us. All of these thoughts are understandable. Of course you have them, pull way back and let’s look at this big picture. Going back to that how the patriarchy keeps you from getting paid episode. We’ve been told for centuries that only the people who win matter. That winning only looks one way. That there’s only room at the top for the chosen few.

And the chosen few better look and project that image of what winners are supposed to look like. That’s why we’re looking to those that seem to have an easier go and think they’re up there, they’re making it look great, and if they’re up there, they took my spot. I’m not going to be able to be up there, there’s only room for one. If it’s not 100, it might as well be zero.

And of course, it’s all bullshit. And just seeing that, and I did an entire podcast on all of that so I’m not going to deep dive into the why. But of course that’s why you indulge in that thinking.

And now that you know why you indulge in that thinking, you get to ask yourself honestly if you want to continue to do that. You know why it’s there. You see how thinking all of those thoughts make you feel. How it shuts you down. How discouraged and exhausted you feel just thinking about they get it and I don’t, I guess this isn’t working for me.

You get to see it. I offer it to you up on a platter to look at it and decide, is this a good use of my time and energy? And if it’s not, I give you permission to put that plate of patriarchal bullshit down. It’s still going to be in the room, but first you just have to even acknowledge why it’s in the room and if you want to continue continue carrying it around. That is in your power.

Listen, the patriarchy never sold us on the messy middle. They would laugh in the face of the river of misery. They say the river of misery is actually your refusal to play the game or to play along, and then they’re really going to make your life miserable, right? And even the river of misery, I fucking hate that term.

Okay, I’m coming clean right here in this episode. I hate that term, the river of misery, even though we use it all of the time. Because in its given name there’s something inherently lacking. Where’s the joy and fun and pleasure of river of misery?

Listen, if this is what this is going to be, a whole bunch of believing without any evidence, a whole bunch of feeling all of the emotions and everything we’ve ever been told to feel and do. A whole bunch of defying every patriarchal rule that has ever been drilled into our brains. A whole bunch of trying all the actions and failing at most of them and still not getting the results that we want within the timeframe that we said we wanted to have them.

Before the results actually come if this is it, if this is the path to 100K, like on any given Tuesday this is what this looks like. Why are we doing any of this if we aren’t also having fun? Patriarchy also told us that something can’t suck and be fun at the same time, and I call bullshit again.

Here’s some more parenting here, listen, parenting sucks. Kids cry and scream. And when they’re babies they shit their pants. And then when they’re teenagers they use your own rules and wisdom against you. You never know if you’re doing it right, you’re pretty sure you’re doing everything wrong. And actually, you regret it pretty regularly.

And patriarchy tells you exactly how it should look. And it doesn’t look like that most days, does it? And yet, and yet, for those of us that are parents, we’re doing it. We’re finding the fun, we’re loving those little assholes that we’re raising because they’re also amazing and they’re fabulous. And you find the joy, and you find the fun, and you find the ridiculousness of it all. You love them and you unconditionally, even when everything sucks. And it does suck often, at every age, by the way.

So instead of waiting for your business to only give you the results that you want, which is like waiting for your children to only behave, we find the fun. We call bullshit to those patriarchal rules. And here’s where I say let’s change the river of misery to the roller coaster of life. It’s possible that this sucks and this is never going to work, and I have to feel all this shit and I hate it and I want to throw up daily. That’s an option.

It’s also possible that this is exactly what it should look like. This is exactly what it’s supposed to look like, where I’m supposed to be. None of this is actually a problem. I am safe while I am here, so we might as well have fun.

So this is what I want you to ask yourself. First, how can I have more fun in my day to day? How can I not dread working on my business? How can I replace dread with fun? What would more pleasure in my business look like? What would be scrumptious? What would be delicious? What would it look like to not take every part of this so seriously?

What if you didn’t take your business so damn seriously? What if you didn’t take you so damn seriously? I know, some of you just got so uncomfortable right now. Like what? Yeah, what if this wasn’t so damn serious?

Now one last point that I want to add, I wasn’t really sure where it would fit in but I want to make sure that I include this. This, this is it, this is the work, this is what it takes includes a lot of emotional embodiment work also. Because first you’re feeling every emotion of this not working. And then you learn to detach yourself from the outcome.

And then you also will end up beating yourself up when you don’t have the results in week in and week out. It’s like this pendulum swinging, do you see what I mean? Like where you’re too attached to achieving your 100K goal within a certain timeframe to then being too unattached to achieving it because it’s not helping you to beat yourself up.

So you’re also finding this balance, okay? So like you’re on the roller coaster of life that we’re on, we’re finding the joy, we’re finding the pleasure, we’re finding the not so seriousness of it all. You’re doing all of the things, you’re trying all the things, you’re doing more of what you love instead of what you hate. And you’re finding yourself on this scale of attachment and unattachment.

It’s just like the scale of freedom framework that I talked about a couple weeks ago that every coach needs to find. Each coach needs to find their sweet spot on the emotionally attached and the emotionally unattached scale when it comes to hitting their goals month in and month out.

Because too unattached and you’re not really feeling the belief of it, and you’re not in love with your business. Too attached, you’re beating the shit out of yourself every time you don’t hit a goal. So you have to find that sweet spot on that scale of emotionally attached and unattached.

And like I said, I’ve done this before. Know where you are going, decide what you’re going to make it mean if you get there at a different time than you originally thought. These scales, finding the joy, and the fun, and the pleasure, learning to enjoy this roller coaster of life, this is the key to earning 100K. This is it, my friend.

Anyone can do it. You have what you need. This is the work. Finding where you are on those scales, finding what brings you joy, doing the work every day, replicating what’s working and what’s not working and letting go of what’s not working. Dismantling all of that patriarchy in your brain. Enjoying the roller coaster ride every step of the way? Are you ready?

So this is the work that we do in Path To 100K mastermind, applications are going live like next week. So in the next couple of weeks you’re going to be hearing from some of my mastermind clients on how this work has impacted them in their business, how they’ve rode this roller coaster, how they’re making more money than ever before, how they’re creating six figure businesses.

And your opportunity to do this opens up next week. Doors open to the August round in June. Get on the wait list now, amylatta.com/mastermind, be the first to apply when the details drop. And until next week, until next week, let’s go get paid, coach.

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Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.