Ep #191: A Complete New Approach to the G-Word, Goals

You are listening to episode 191 of the Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where we reinvent how we make goals even happen. Let’s go.

Welcome to the Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

All right. Hey friend. I am very excited about this topic today because this is a topic that has, it’s just evaded me for literally decades. I have tried to approach this topic in 27 different ways. Never quite found the perfect way. I have adopted other people’s ways and it would work for a little while and then not.

And recently, an entirely new approach came to me through a series of coaching sessions with clients and I think I landed on something. What are we talking about? We’re talking about the G-word. It’s technically a four-letter word until you make it plural. We’re talking about Goal. The four-letter word is Goal.

We’re talking about setting and achieving goals. Here’s what happened, I just said setting and achieving goals, and some of you like internally flinched. I want you to stay with me. I’m going to talk about setting and achieving goals in a way I’ve never talked about before, that I’ve never heard anyone else ever talk about before.

The way I’m going to talk about it today and outline it today is a conglomeration of a few different things. And we’ve been putting this into practice inside my coaching programs with multiple people, and I think we’re onto something guys. Okay. I don’t have a fancy name for this. I really don’t. Not everything needs a fancy name.

Maybe eventually I’ll give it like a thing, you know, if I run a free class on this or if I create a separate thing inside my existing courses, I’ll come up with a fancy name. And it’s coming from a bunch of different situations. That’s how I know it’s entirely unique, because these situations are very unique, and I brought them all together into one thing.

Right now, I’m calling it, your “this”. Your small wins in your “this”, or maybe we want to call it Goals is Travel. I don’t know. So, let’s just start with how have we traditionally done goal setting. You know, the first way I learned goal setting was SMART goals. I don’t even remember what SMART stands for.

Maybe I should have looked that up before the thing, but, you know, it’s like they’re achievable. You know, there’s timing. You know, S M A R T all stands for something. They’re reasonable. This a way of like, you know, where am I now? Where’s the reasonable place I want to be in a certain amount of time, and what do I need to do in order to get there?

This is like the very traditional way. It just never really worked with me. I’m not even entirely sure why, other than I’ll be honest with you, particularly now that I am diagnosed ADHD. I wonder if it just felt too boring. I’m going to be honest with you, I honestly just think that SMART goals just felt too boring.

And while that might work for a lot of people, it never really worked for me. And I do believe, like sample size of one here, this is an untested theory. I do believe, I just saw SMART goals, and achieving goals that way, it didn’t stimulate my brain enough. An ADHD brain wants to, like, it’s always desiring stimulation.

I’ve tried Impossible Goals. This is a concept that came from the coaching school that I’ve previously been associated with, and this is the idea of setting a goal that’s clearly impossible, for sure going to fail at it. Which reduces our resistance to failing, the negative side of SMART goals is, it should be attainable.

So, if you don’t attain it, I always way beat the crap out of myself like, it’s a goal, but I should be able to achieve it. So, if I don’t achieve it in the right time, then I must suck. That was another reason why SMART goals didn’t work for me. So, the whole idea of an Impossible Goal is you’re setting a goal, like what’s your SMART goal, and then go past that.

You’re for sure going to fail. It’s impossible for it. So, failure is automatically part of it, you might as well just like, go for it, right? We’re not going to actually achieve that thing, but we’re going to get way farther with an Impossible Goal than a SMART goal because we’re willing to try all of the things.

Failure is automatically built into it. That didn’t not work for me. I’m going to be honest with you. That worked for me a lot. Sometimes I’ve done entire podcasts on fails. We just did a podcast a few weeks ago on your Yes Plan, which is a different way of talking about fails. So that’s very much incorporated into those Impossible Goals idea of you know, I’m going to, I’ve already set a goal that is so unreasonable, so impossible.

That failure is 100% already a part of this, and we’re just going to go have a hell of a lot of fun. Right? I’ve also called this Big Hairy Ass Goals or BHAGs. It’s actually big, hairy, audacious goals, but I always changed the A-word to Ass. BHAGs, this was a concept from a coach I worked with even before I got certified, you know, where you are setting audacious goals, really big goals.

We didn’t talk about the impossibility of them, we didn’t talk about the inherent built-in failure of them. But that was another language that I used and again, at something else didn’t not work for me. A lot of these Impossible Goals, SMART goals, BHAGs, they all incorporate the idea of visualizing yourself already there, writing about it, and seeing it in your mind’s eye.

We’re talking about what I learned through my certification program is the concept of future you has already achieved. Whatever these goals are, this person thinks differently, she feels differently, she acts differently. What are those things that are different? And start thinking, feeling, and doing that now become the person who has achieved that goal.

Now that’s how you get there. And that’s not worked for me sometimes. I can see it, I can feel it. She’s probably thinking this, she’s probably feeling this. This is what I imagine that she’s thinking, feeling, and doing. I was always really good at what she’s probably doing that I’m not doing. The whole idea here is that the more you move forward, the clearer that vision becomes.

Where these things stopped working for me was a couple of years ago when I was doing the Impossible Goal. I was visualizing myself; I’m doing the future you, and for whatever reason, it just wasn’t working. And my belief in myself that I could do those things plummeted, like drop it on the floor. I had gone from achieving a completely Impossible Goal.

To not being able to replicate it. I met this goal here. I pushed it to an Impossible Goal. I met the Impossible Goal, and then for like an entire year after that, I wasn’t even meeting the pre-Impossible Goal. And a friend of mine, she’s a coach named Danielle Savory, I was visiting her and her family.

And we were out on a walk, and she asked me where was my belief at a hundred percent. Like, did I believe I could sign one client? I was like, well, yeah, but one client doesn’t get me there. I can’t believe I can sign one client. I got to sign 10. I got to sign 20. If I’m going to hit this revenue goal, if I’m going to get anywhere near here, if I’m going to be able to keep earning my spot in this, you know, coaching space that we are in.

I need the numbers to be here. By the way, all of that, I’ve been talking extensively about that. That all sucks. We’ve had that conversation in more than one way. That’s not what this podcast episode is about, but that was another belief killer, right? In order to fit into the rooms that I was paying for, I needed to be at certain goal levels in the work that I am doing now in my own programs to remove that aspect of you achieving goals, right?

That your value in your worth, in your existence, in my rooms is not predicated upon you setting and achieving certain goals. We’re not doing that. We had to go back to, where’s my belief in just one. And you want to know what it helped. But this idea of holding impossible BHAGoals and also believing in just one seemed in conflict with one another.

And I tripped my way around that for the past year or two. Well, here’s this over here now in my podcast episode with Mark Butler. What was that? January, February. We talked about the idea of yes, I want to end up on the other side of the lake. There are lots of swimming platforms and breaks and islands in between, there was a visual of the B H A G, the Impossible Goal, and the smaller incremental goal.

That is lovely, amazing, very comfortable, and achievable. All of this came together in two things that happened. I think in two weeks, or maybe the same week one was me joining a gym and after a year of trying to get started in a regular exercise program, something flipped in my brain where I decided I’m doing this, and then I did, and I’ve stuck with it.

We’re in a month in now, and also a conversation inside one of my coaching rooms around. Ironically it, it ended up becoming a travel analogy. So, here’s where I want you to grab your pen, and your paper and start taking some notes because we’re going to talk about a completely new way to set and achieve goals.

Right now the tentative name is How To Achieve Your “This” Goal. I’m having this conversation with a couple of clients about how to believe you’re going to get somewhere you’ve never been before. So, travel came up in this conversation. So, it’s this idea of, and I’m going to use, you know, Trey and I right now, that’s my husband.

If you guys don’t know, we just celebrated our anniversary 20 years in May, I’m sorry, May 29th. My brain totally blanked on my anniversary date. We just celebrated our 20-year anniversary on May 29th. We still haven’t set the anniversary trip, but we know we’re going somewhere, and I have an idea in my mind.

So, for the ease of this conversation, let’s just say we’ve decided. We haven’t actually decided, but let’s just say we’ve decided we’re going to Paris. We’ve never been to Paris. We know that other people have been to Paris, but we’ve never done that. We don’t speak French. We’re not regular international travelers.

I’m more doing that than he ever has. This isn’t our zone of genius in any way, shape, or form, and yet we believe we’re going to get to Paris. Picking up what I’m throwing down. You’re setting a goal. You know that people have achieved that goal. You’ve never done it. There are a whole lot of reasons why. Maybe it’s not the best thing for you, but you’ve set your sights on it and you’re doing this, okay?

This is this goal. This is the thing that you’re visualizing for yourself, where you are becoming the person who achieves the thing. You’re going to write this goal down as often as possible on pen and paper. You’re going to visit in your mind that place and hold the belief of it, even if it’s just for a moment, at least once a week.

And if you’re able to do that at least once a day. Fabulous. If you don’t write it down and see it every single day, we’re not beating ourselves up. But when you remember to do it, set a timer on your phone. Set a reminder, if that’s what you need. That just for a moment, I’m going to visualize myself in Paris.

I’m going to start thinking about what I think the food is like there, what I’m going to wear when I’m there, and all of the things that come with it, right? I’m going to start adding details. You can do this too about your goal, adding more details, the more you visit in your mind, and that this activity is something that you do again as daily as possible, at least weekly.

And also, we aren’t beating ourselves up. If that doesn’t happen all the time, as soon as you remember to do it again, go visit it in your mind again. That’s the other side of the lake. That’s the destination. But today, in order for me to get to Paris, we got to see how much flights cost. So, what I’m doing today is seeing how much flight’s cost.

Now, seeing how much flights cost does not get me to Paris, but I can’t get to Paris if I don’t know how much the flight costs. This is just like the Danielle thing. Signing one client today doesn’t get me to that goal that I needed to hit in order to stay in the room. But I can’t get to that goal if I don’t sign one person.

That small thing that you need to do today, that’s your small win. This is what helped me in the gym. I’m bringing in the gym conversation of like, oh, we set the big goal of what I wanted, but what’s the small thing I’m going to work on? That has nothing to do with the big goal. In the first month, it was just attending regularly, deciding that a minimum of four days a week.

I’m showing up at the gym. So, whatever your big goal is, your small win that you’re working on might be this week I just commit to sending one email and four Instagram posts. Now, sending one email and four Instagram codes doesn’t get you there. But you have got to start there, and you need to become, that needs to be something that you regularly do in order to get there.

So, what is your “this”? What is the destination? Visiting that regularly in your mind, and then setting weekly small wins, those small things that need to happen in order for the larger thing to go, that your belief is that belief is super, super high. You can do the one thing and acknowledging that doing the one thing is required in order to get to the big goal.

What stopped working for me? Those Impossible Goals. I stopped believing in the value of just one person. I stopped believing in the value of the small steps that are required to get into the big step. The travel analogy has helped me so much because unlike of course, if I want to get to Paris, there are so many things.

There are so many decisions I’m going to have to make. I don’t have to make all of those decisions today though, right? I just know that those are decisions I’m going to have to make eventually. Next, we’re going to have to pick the flights. Next, we’re going to have to pick the dates of those fights. Then we’re going to have to decide what places we want to visit and not want to visit.

Not everything may work out the way that I hoped it would, but it’s still going to get me on a trip to Paris in the big visual. I know that the travel analogy was so helpful, but also the signing up for the gym and sticking to it and feeling that commitment is because I made the decision that this was happening.

Make the decision that your “this” goal is happening, and the commitment comes. What are the small wins you need to do every single week? But I don’t know the answer to this, and I don’t know the answer to this. It’s okay. Just like planning a trip, you know, you might run into some obstacles.

You know there’s going to be decisions that need to be made down the road and you will make those decisions in those times. Eventually, those future decisions become the small win you’re going to achieve that week, because then what you are getting coaching on week after week is what does your “this” require of you?

This really landed for me. I know I’m saying this too many times, right? So, in order to achieve my big goal, I have to set the small wins that are required every week. I have to believe I can get one client so that I can get 10 clients, right? One client does not equal 10 clients, but I got to get the 1 before I can get the 10, right?

I have got to do the small goals or whatever, but also, I have to be willing to do certain things. To do the small wins, I have to be willing to be seen. I have to be willing to be supported by the community that I am in. I have to be willing to feel inadequate trying something new that I’ve never done before.

I have to allow others to think things about me that may not be true. So right now, in Free To Paid Coach and in The Mastermind, we are doing this activity where every Monday, we’re defining our this and those definitions of the this becomes clearer. The big dream goal. The big audacious goal. Those definitions get clearer and clearer every week because then we’re defining the small win that we’re going to focus on every week.

We define what that small win is on Monday, and we celebrate on Friday. Whether you’ve achieved the small goal or not. You’ve learned something, you’ve discovered something. Maybe you’ve refined something and we’re deciding, okay, what does this require of me in order to do this small win, I’m going to have to not know something and be willing to not know it.

This brings up the, okay, here’s the coaching that I’m going to need help with this week. If you don’t have an active coach, then this can be the self-coaching that you can do. If you want an active coach to help you with that. I have a community that can help you with that, that we are doing this work already, and then it becomes about really celebrating and having fun along the way.

Think about how fun it is to plan a trip to Paris. I’m not even there yet and I’m getting excited about it. There’s a tough decision I have got to make today. Those flights suck. How? I don’t want to travel through these cities, right? Oh, damn. Where I thought, I was going to stay isn’t going to work out and I need to come up with something different.

Oh, that was way more expensive than I thought it was going to be. Now I have got to go brainstorm alternatives. And even when we’re on the plane, we still aren’t at the destination, right? I’ve used the analogy of being in an airport and if. you find yourself on a moving sidewalk to a terminal or a gate, that’s not actually the destination that’s going to get to there.

So, let’s say a series of small wins in your business has you trying a bunch of things that you suddenly realize, this isn’t even going to work. Well, just like in an airport, you wouldn’t keep going. You wouldn’t like to still go to the gate and get on a plane that’s not taking you to Paris. As soon as there’s a break in that moving sidewalk, you’re going to hop off and you’re going to head in the other direction.

You’re going to reroute yourself as many times as needed. Sometimes planes get delayed, and sometimes planes reroute. Sometimes planes divert to other cities because there’s an accident on the tarmac in Newark, I experienced that on a trip to Italy. Sometimes those things happen, but you never lose sight in the belief that you’re going to get there, even if at the moment it doesn’t feel like it, and then you refocus on what’s the small win I can achieve this week.

This conversation has helped me so much. It has helped bring clarity to so many other people’s goals inside the coaching program, and I invite you to try it on. How can you make this travel analogy work for you? What is your “this”, I am doing this. What is the This? How many clients per month? How much revenue per month?

How many free clients? If you’re a brand-new coach, every day, or nearly every day. Write it down. See it in your mind. Even if just for a moment and you know, visualize yourself doing more things there, help that vision come clearer, the more you visit, there are small steps that have to happen before you get to your “this”.

These are your small weekly wins. What small win decide on Monday, what small win you’re focusing on that week that’s required in order to get to that big This? And then what does that This require of you? What must you be willing to experience, feel, and do to make that small win or that big This happen?

Be willing to be seen supported by the community. Feel inadequate, allow others to have thoughts and feelings about me because that’s the part you have now identified what coaching you need on a week-to-week basis. And no matter if you hit that small one each week on Fridays, we’re going to celebrate.

What you learned about what you have to be willing to do in order to achieve this, right? So, once you decide your “this”, you’re just setting and working on small wins each week, and you’re starting to wire that belief that this is happening and those small wins, go back to that Yes Plan episode we did, and draw your small wins from that inspiration.

Or you’re trying a bunch of new things to learn what does and does not work for you. That’s like, how do I know what small window to set? Go back to that Yes Plan episode. All right, my friends. I hope you found that incredibly helpful. It has definitely changed how we’re talking about setting goals in our communities, in my communities right now, and I invite you when this episode drops, to find this post on Instagram and just share it with me whether it be a private story or a personal story.

What your “this” is, or what your small win is that you’re working on for the week. I would love to see how you’re going to take this episode and make it work for you. And as always, if you want a community that can support you through this and provides that weekly coaching that you need, Free to Paid Coach is the best place for you to start.

Enrolling in Free to Paid Coach right now also includes some one-on-one calls with me. Also, if you are past being paid and you’re actually looking to move to profitable, I am pre-enrolling for the Path to Profitable, or whatever the hell I’m going to name The Mastermind, but that group of people who are past being paid, who have made money in their business, and are now looking to become profitable, I’m pre-enrolling to that group right now. You can start coaching one-on-one with me before that group gets started.

I’d love to have you, and until next week, I can’t wait to see what you do. Talk to you next week, coach. It’s time to sign your first free client, your first paid client, your next client, and to learn how to do it consistently and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way.

This is exactly what you’re going to do in Free ot Paid Coach. It’s the only program giving you step-by-step what to do to become a paid coach and step-by-step, how to handle the roller coaster emotions that come with doing what you need to do to become a paid coach. If you know you can’t not do this life coaching thing, but believing that you can do it, handling rejection, and remembering how to do all of those things shuts you down.

The Free to Paid Coach community is waiting for you. Find everything that you’re looking for inside. It’s only $1,000 payments are available and then you are in forever.

Visit www.amylatta.com/ftpc to join us right now. See you inside. Let’s get paid, coach.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.