Ep #113: How to Have It All

You are listening to episode 113 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you learn to have it all. Let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello, coach. We did it, it is the first week of January 2022. How is everybody doing out there? I hope you’re doing amazing. I hope you’re doing fabulously. I hope you are standing this week thinking about all that is ahead of you. And the episode I have for you today is all about helping to make whatever you have swimming in your brain right now, a reality.

So if you haven’t already, I want to make sure that you’ve gone back and you’ve listened to last week’s episode. You don’t have to pause this one and go back. But just make sure if you haven’t, if you’re listening to this one, check out last week’s too. Because last week’s was kind of an end of the year wrap up where I shared how I failed at all my goals. And the importance of failing at all my goals.

As it turns out, I had 25% growth in my business last year, which is amazing. It’s just that my goal was 150% growth. So I fell short, I fell short by a lot. And I talk about how important it was and how 2021 is the year that sets me up for massive success in the future because of everything I learned by setting these huge goals and continuously falling flat on my face. And really making failure not be a problem at all. And how important that is.

So make sure you do check that one out because this episode, I’m just going to share with you– This isn’t scripted, I’m doing this off the cuff. This is an exercise I shared with my coaches last week, my clients in the Confident Coaches Mastermind, this was some homework I gave each of them last week, and I’m sharing it with you. Because what this is, is this is really an exercise that just brings in, it’s like an exercise of plenty. It’s an exercise of sufficiency. It’s an exercise of prosperity and enjoyment.

And when I was thinking about how somebody really creates everything that they want, how to have it all, it starts with this exercise I’m sharing with you today. Because when we’re thinking about having it all, when you’re thinking about the 2022 goals that you’ve set. When you’re thinking about how you want to grow your business this year. When you’re thinking about how many clients you want to work with, programs you want to create, dollar signs you want to see in the bank account.

When you’re thinking about that, a lot of times that thinking is coming from the place of because what I have now isn’t enough. Because what I have now isn’t good and I need these new things. I need these clients. I need this amount of engagement on my posts. I need this much feedback from people. I need clients to say yes. And I need these dollars to be in the bank. I need to make this money so that I can feel plentiful, and prosperous, and sufficient, and feel the joy.

And it’s the other way around. Remember, money doesn’t create confidence. People saying yes doesn’t create confidence. But you having the confidence ahead of time will absolutely create all of that. Confidence is what signs the clients. Confidence is what makes you the money. It’s the feeling beforehand that creates what you want. If you want to have it all, you need to start with appreciating all that you have right now.

So I’m sharing with you today this plentiful exercise that I shared with my clients last week. And this is your homework this week, no matter what goals you decided you want to set. And after listening to last week’s episode and really appreciating the value of what falling flat on your face and failing over and over again can teach you about resiliency, about resourcefulness, all skills that confident coaches have and foster.

As you start off this year, I want you to start in this plentiful energy, this sufficient energy. I first learned about the concept of sufficiency from the book, The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist. She talks a lot about in her book, how we’ll have a scarcity mindset. And people want to have an abundant mindset, but people can actually get messed up in both areas.

So a scarcity mindset is I don’t have enough. An abundant mindset is I have more than I need. And sufficiency really is I have everything that I need right now. What I have now is good. I always have what I need. What I have is always flowing to me. And that’s really what sufficiency is.

And so when I think about sufficiency, I really think about what I have is plentiful, and it’s a very prosperous, enjoying, wellbeing type of energy. This is that idea of loving your body before you decide if you want to lose the weight, loving it now. Loving your marriage now, loving your husband now, loving your job now, so that you can create change and just make it better.

Because as long as you are in an energy of what I have now is not good enough, what happens is you shift into this energy of chasing those new results. You start chasing engagement. You start chasing clients. You start chasing money. And just think about the energy of that in your body. It feels graspy, it feels needy, and it can move into desperation and a lot of frustration.

And that’s not a great energy to be working in your business, right? Like because we’re chasing that, because we think that’s what’s going to make us feel better. We’ll feel plentiful when we have the things. We’ll feel prosperous when we have the things. We’ll feel sufficient, we’ll feel affluent and luxurious and we’ll be able to enjoy when it’s here. But that chasing energy will actually detract your best people, it will not draw them in.

And like this is like every rom-com, right? I want you to think about this, like every love story when one person is chasing another, the other person’s like, “It’s too much and I’m going to need you to back off. I’m not loving what you’re doing here.” And then when that doesn’t work there’s always that scene in the movie where the person doing the chasing is like all by themselves in their apartment eating out of like a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, right?

So then they shut down, and then they’re not doing anything. We do this in our business, right? Where either chasing, chasing, chasing. Or we’re like singing all by myself in our apartment eating Ben and Jerry’s watching Netflix. There is another way and it starts with how to have it all with the plentiful exercise.

Okay, so the exercise is actually quite simple. So I want you to listen to this first. I want you to listen to what I’m sharing with you and just let your brain start to go to work. And then when you have a chance, do rewind and listen to it with some pen and paper and jot down some of the notes. But make sure this is an exercise that you’re doing this week. Because it really will shift in your brain and help you have it all this year.

This is your year to be able to have it all. You really can. You already have what you need. Yes, you can always learn more. Yes, you can always surround yourself with people who help elevate the goals that you want to have. But everything you need is already inside you and it starts with feeling it first. It starts with feeling plentiful.

So I want to offer that this is the best gift you can give yourself right now. Didn’t get what you want for Christmas? Or even if you did, this is the gift you really need. And it really only takes a couple of minutes.

So the first thing that I want you to do is I want you to think about the most recent memories you have before you really started coaching. Before you launched your business or when you first discovered coaching. And I want you to think about where you were then. Maybe this is only six months ago, a year ago, maybe for some of you guys it’s 5, 10 years ago. I’m thinking back to the early 2010s, that kind of 2013 to 2015 area where I knew I wanted to change but I didn’t know how.

I think about how not confident I felt. I think about how I didn’t speak my mind. I think about how I knew I wanted something more, but my fear of what others would think, my fear of making a fool of myself, my fear of but what if it doesn’t happen was so overwhelming. I remember being overwhelmed all of the time. Everything was always so overwhelming. Everything was always such an emergency.

And I was working a coaching business through a direct sales program but I didn’t have any of the life coaching aspect, the mindset aspect. And everything always felt like well, that’s not for me. I don’t think I can have that. And I remember that feeling of longing all of the time.

So I want you to remind yourself in those moments of what that feels like before you were introduced to mindset coaching. Before you even had the idea of coaching. There was a reason why you sought it out in the first place.

Now, your life might have been pretty good. I led a really great life. Great husband, great marriage, we had everything that we needed, but there’s a reason I got into life coaching. There’s a reason I got into mindset coaching. And it was that overwhelm I felt all that time. It was that lack of belief. It was that perfectionism, that procrastination cycle. It was that good little girl, gold star getter, people pleaser in me.

Take a moment to remember that version of you that got you to seek out life coaching and possibly become a coach in the first place. Now, I want you to think about this past year, 2021. And make a list of everything you created. Dollars, clients consults, maybe think about the posts you created, the emails. I mean you can go ahead and dig into the facts and the numbers here too, if you have the time. You know, how many emails did you send? How many subscribers did you gain? How many followers do you have now that maybe you didn’t have before?

I mean, back 10 years ago, I didn’t have any subscribers and followers. I wasn’t making any money from coaching. So what did you create this year? Did you create any programs? Did you create any brilliant concepts? Think about everything you created this year.

And now for those of you who are working with clients, free or otherwise, I want you to write down the name of each of your clients. I want you to write every single person that you’ve worked with, and put yourself on that list too. How have they changed? How have they grown? What new results do they have in their life because of coaching with you?

What has shifted for them? How did you help them create new results in their life? And yes, do the same for you. How have you changed since you started? Remember, we just painted that vision of where you were when you started. How have you changed?

What have you let go of? What did you have to drop? What did you need to release from your life? What has come into your life since then? What things are new in your life? What have you stopped doing that you wanted to stop doing? And what are you now doing that seemed like such a struggle before?

Then I want you to think about how have you had what you’ve always needed? Write down any moment you can remember where what you needed was there even when you didn’t know how. Even when you weren’t sure how it was going to show up. Think about friends, think about time, think about money. Think about any situations where you did not know where the solution was going to come from and then there it was. We all have these stories, right?

Now it will be your brain’s directive to focus on what you don’t have instead of what you do have, right? So keep directing it back to when you started. That’s why we started there, a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago. Because right now your brain’s directive will be like, “It doesn’t matter what I created this year, it wasn’t what I thought it should be.” Remember last week’s episode? But this is where you want to remember where you used to be.

And I want you now to focus on these lists that you’ve just created. Where you used to be, where you are now. Feel the plentifulness of this. And I want you to close your eyes and I want you to meditate on that for a moment. Thinking about all that you have created, and all that you have gained since you started coaching. Because what you have created is good. It is plentiful. It is a place to rejoice already. It is prosperous now.

And how does this feel? Accomplished, proud, happy? And tap into those sensations in your body. How does it feel to think about this is where I used to be, I used to be so overwhelmed? And now I’m just not anymore. I used to never say what was really on my mind, and now I have no problem articulating my wants and needs.

I used to be terrified of asking people to work with me and give me money, and now I have no problem saying, “Hey, let’s talk about the money. Let’s talk about what your objections are.” And that feels in my body, it feels proud. It feels sure. And I want you to tap into those sensations in your body. Of seeing what you used to struggle with, that you no longer struggle with now and how that feels.

Where is it centered in your body? Is it radiating out of your chest? Does it feel solid and grounded in your gut? And if you want to take this a step further, take this outside. Go stand in the sun, get barefoot in the grass if that’s available. I do realize it’s the first week of January so that may not be possible. Go take a walk out in nature.

There’s something about nature, that just really solidifies this grounding. Being outside amongst trees and sunshine and earth really helps that radiating pride and accomplishment, that grounding in your gut become even more solid. And luxuriate in all that sufficiency that is in your life. Take in all of the plentifulness that is already available to you, that you already have. It’s not even that it’s available to you, you already have it. Feel the goodness of what is already.

Stay in this energy as long as it’s available to you. Because it will fade and it’s okay if it starts to fade. Just make a point to take yourself back to this place. Be in plentiful, be in the knowing that you always have exactly what you need.

And this, my friends, is how to have it all, is to realize that you already do. And everything else from here is for fun, is because you want to, is because it’s a chance to see what else you are capable of. Not because you need it, not because you’re desperate for it, not because you need it to prove your worth or to prove your value, that’s already been established.

So from this energy, think about what you’re going to create this year. And until next week, let’s go fuck some shit up.

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Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.