If this year felt like a year-long struggle to believe in your ability as a coach, and obstacles seemed to keep getting in your way at every turn, trust me, you are not alone.
2021 might have been a shit show for me, but I discovered some amazing lessons that will forever change the trajectory of my life and business. So join me, and maybe you’ll see how your failures don’t mean anything other than it’s go-time.
You are listening to episode 112 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where we’re going to learn from where we’ve been. Let’s go.
Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.
Well, hello, coach. Guess what? We did it, we have lived yet another year. So the fun thing is I’m actually recording this right at the winter solstice. So that’s the kind of mystical science-y earthbound aspect of the end and the beginning. And this episode is coming out the week before New Year’s Eve, and it will be kind of like– It is the logical episode before next one.
So this is the end of the year, next episode is the beginning of the year. And the themes of these two podcasts are definitely the same. And I’m recording them also at the same time. It’s very like inception over here. And I just think like we did it. We have come to the end of another year. And in this day and age, that’s kind of saying a lot.
So this is going to be our year end spectacular. It is the Confident Coaches Podcast year end spectacular. I really just made that up. I don’t really know what I’ve done in years past, but there’s something about this year that has nothing to do with the pandemic, or lockdown, or anything else that’s happening out there. But there’s something that happened in here with me, my business and my life that makes for a perfect year end spectacular, where we’re going to talk about all about me.
But I promise you, I promise that this conversation is going to be all about us. Because what I experienced this year personally and internally is a reminder to all of us of what it means to never give up. This Confident Coaches Podcast year end spectacular could best be summarized, how to not give up.
If you struggled to keep believing when all the signs tell you otherwise. If the idea of falling flat on your face and failure feels like a fate worse than death. If public humiliation is like the absolute worst, then let me tell you about my year, my friends.
So right out of the gate, I did not meet one single goal this year. Technically, I am recording this before the end of the year. And technically it is possible that I could hit one of my smaller goals still. But up until this point of the recording of the third week of December, I’ve not hit any of the goals that I’ve set. For the first time since before I made 100K, so like for the first time in like four years, I have not hit a single goal that I set for myself.
And, and hold on. Hold on, I’m going to tell you right now that it was my best year in business. What? Wait a minute, that doesn’t make any sense, right? How is it possible that I’m going to tell you, I’m getting ready to tell you, how I didn’t meet one single goal this year. And in reflection I can look back and see that this year right here, 2021 is going to go down as my best year or most important year in business.
Now remember Confident Coaches, I’ve been talking a lot about this concept about holding two conflicting things at the same time. So we are masters, Confident Coaches, you work with me in the mastermind you will become a master at holding two things that seem like they should be conflicting at the same time. How is it possible that I could not meet one single goal and tell you that it’s the best possible year that I’ve had, best year of my business?
Okay, so let’s just start with how is it possible that Amy doesn’t hit one goal? How is that possible? Can we talk about that for a little bit here? So I am in a high level, high-end mastermind. Like the entire point of the mastermind is scaling to millions of dollars. So I’m definitely running with the big dogs. We are definitely pushing ourselves. The entire point of the group is ginormous goals that scare the shit out of you.
So I really set high goals for myself this year. So not only did I set a really high year-end goal, I created kind of small, incremental goals along the way. So I knew a year ago that I was going to have four big launches and a one time paid training, as well as the year-end goal. And what’s really funny is this time last year, I actually am remembering, I actually think the podcast episode came out in the first couple weeks of January.
But I want to preface this right now, I’ve done a lessons from failure episode before where there was this like, but ta-da, I didn’t really fail because I came back and rallied in the end. That is not what this podcast is about.
So a year ago, I believe it’s called Lessons From A Failed Launch, I talked about how I didn’t hit my goal this time last year. But then I came back and I rallied after the first of the year and then I ended up surpassing it or something like that, right? That is not this story.
This story really is I set one big goal, and then small, incremental goals along the way. All of which are outside of my comfort zone, all of which were very uncomfortable. All of which were all about stretching me onto that million dollar path. And I didn’t hit a single goal. And there’s no rallying in the 11th hour coming. It’s legitimately not happening.
So this podcast is not going to end with a come from behind finish, 11th hour celebration. This is a Rocky story. Okay, so, y’all know what I’m talking about. I’m going to date myself here, but if you don’t know the Rocky story, I’m going to give you a quick synopsis here.
Sylvester Stallone, Rocky, boxing, late 1970s. I hope I’m not giving it away, it comes out, it is like one of the most inspiring sports stories of all time. But Rocky 1, he does not win in the end. Sorry, if I’m giving away spoilers here. Rocky does not win in Rocky 1. No, he loses the fight. Rocky loses the fight, he does not win.
And yet, the movie is considered one of the most single inspiring movies of all time. How can that be? Well, I’m about to share with you my Rocky story for the year so that you can see how it’s possible. That a story of not winning, that a story of not meeting your expectation can actually be just as incredibly inspiring, if not more.
And I do want to note, I’m not like a particularly Rocky fan even though I was that prime age growing up to watch all of them. It was completely lost on me. I was a grown adult, it was like in the 90s or in the 2000s before I found out that Rocky doesn’t win at the end of Rocky 1. I was like, “Wait a minute, what the hell was the whole movie about?”
But all of that to say I am not like a “Hey, yo, Adrian” big Rocky fan. But I think it’s really important to tell that story. We’re so used to everybody wins in the end stories. I just don’t think we hear enough of the we didn’t win in the end stories. Some of the best stories are the stories where people push themselves so far out of their comfort zone and continuously fall short. And that the power of the story is in the not giving up part, not in necessarily the winning.
Ah, you see? The reason Rocky’s story is so powerful is because he doesn’t give up. And he puts it all on the line and he gives it 100%. And he ends up failing anyway. But he sees what he’s made of and he doesn’t give up. And yes, he goes on to win in the subsequent movies.
This is my version of that story. And as I’m looking back on the year, what I’m most proud of is the not giving up, because I know the winning is inevitable. So let’s dive in just a little bit more.
So it is true that I set a very high goal for this year and then I set smaller individual goals. And as I said, very uncomfortable, very high goals for each one. And I didn’t meet any of them. It was the best year I could have possibly had for myself and for my business. Because it is true, I never lost the belief.
And while I never gave up, it was not an enjoyable year. So notice this, the best year I could have possibly had for my business was not the most enjoyable year for me, the business’s owner.
So one of my amazing colleagues and dear friends, and a mastermind sister, Simone, was recently sharing in our Facebook group, our mastermind’s Facebook group, about how she’s reading a book about poker and there’s this line about how it’s easy to play well when you’re winning. But how you play when you’re losing is the true test of how good you are. And that’s how I’m viewing this year.
That’s how I view a movie like Rocky, is that it’s easy to play when everything’s going right. But when nothing’s going right or when we’re losing, that’s our true test of our stick-to-itiveness, our resourcefulness, our resilience, and really how good we really are.
So if you really want to know how good you are and you really want to know what you’re made of, go set a bunch of impossible goals for yourself and then plan on failing. And here’s why this is a worthwhile endeavor, is the story from this year.
So my number one most obvious lesson that I was already on board with, but I just want to reiterate it right here because this was not work I had to do this year. This is work I’ve done in subsequent years. This is work I did on my path to 100K. This is the work that I teach in my mastermind, and how this work just keeps coming with you. And that is your ability to believe that your goal is inevitable, even if it hasn’t happened yet.
My belief that my scale to a million dollars is happening, that hasn’t wavered. My belief has not wavered in the least that I am already a million dollar coach. Now, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have a couple minutes here or there, or full 15 minute tantrums spread out every once in a while where I was like, “All right, I quit. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m done.”
But I wasn’t really throwing out my belief in that moment, I was just throwing like a little toddler tantrum every once in a while. If you’re not quitting for about 15 minutes every once in a while, it’s possible that your goals aren’t quite big enough. So my goal is so big, but my belief that it is happening is so strong. My belief that I am a $1 million coach already, and that this is a $1 million coaching business already is solid. It was solid for the entire year.
That’s foundational beliefs and confidence. That foundation did not waver, it was not shaking. The reason that it didn’t waver is because of the very tools that I share with you in this podcast and the work that we do inside the mastermind, how to believe something without the evidence that it’s happening.
So many of you are looking for or wanting to feel confident in your ability to create results, and you want to have those results in order to feel confident. And this year for me it was a masterclass on how to have confidence in your results without having the results to provide that confidence. This is the essence of what makes a confident coach. I don’t need the results to feel confident in my ability to create the results.
The confidence is there, now let’s get to work. And that’s when your belief is really fueling that work, my willingness to continue to problem solve even though I haven’t figured out each individual piece yet. Am I learning more and more every single launch? Absolutely. Am I getting better every single time? Absolutely. Am I still holding myself to the belief that I’m going to hit these really big goals? 100%.
So the number one thing to take away there is it is your belief. Every single time. Repeat after me, I do not need the results to feel confident in my ability to create the results. Now let’s get to work.
So having the belief down pat, having that foundation solid, that’s when we started to get into where I did have growth. So the first one is I had to unbox a lot of feeling. Which is really hilarious because I like to think of myself as a feelings master, I would absolutely tell you that there’s no emotion that I’m not afraid to feel, or so I thought.
This year I got some of the hardest coaching I have ever received. And I found some core deep beliefs that I had held on to for security reasons for so long. And it was so uncomfortable to find those beliefs, to allow them to come up to the surface and to really see what it meant to truly lean into uncomfortable feelings.
It was very uncomfortable to make these realizations, to be coached in front of my peers around things that I have somehow managed to run away from up until this year. To see unwritten rules I still did not know I was following that I could challenge. And this is the essence really of the power of coaching, the power of being in a group mastermind. The power of paying to have a coach show you the thoughts that you are not challenging.
Now most of you coming into a mastermind on your path to 100K, we’re not going to be digging as deep as I have here. I have done literally years of, I call it– It’s like you’re working off layers. But I would have told you at the beginning of this year I had done conquered all the discomfort there was to conquer. Nope, that path to a million dollars is going to have you dig down even deeper, so your willingness to truly feel uncomfortable emotions.
Now what’s beautiful about Confident Coaches Mastermind is I provide those tools for you. So while I had to tap into some new shit I didn’t know that I needed to tap into, I was still able to rely on the Confident Coaches Mastermind tools of really embracing discomfort, of really feeling feelings.
This is how this year I became such a master at holding space for conflicting feelings, and realizing that this was a core skill that I am learning and that I can teach you in the mastermind. And had I not had to unbox so many of those feelings, that might not have become a lesson that I learned this year. So thank goodness.
So you kind of see why this is the best thing that could have happened to me, is I learned something so important, and that is your ability to hold two conflicting things at the same time. That I could feel this, discomfort doesn’t really even come to it. When we’re talking about really core beliefs that had gone completely unchecked and unchallenged for 47 and a half years, that were brought up to the surface this year. And to still hold that belief and have no doubt that the result was inevitable.
To be able to fail at each launch every single time, while also believing it was inevitable. Thank goodness that happened because now the bulk of the coaching that we do in the mastermind is your ability to believe two conflicting things at the same time. Your ability to feel two conflicting things at the same time, so that the doubt and the discomfort doesn’t have to knock out your belief and your excitement and your confidence.
Thank goodness this presented itself. Because now I am that much better of a coach for the coaches that come into Confident Coaches Mastermind.
So that leads me to the third and what is probably to me the biggest lesson, the most important lesson that I’m really learning this year, that I knew on an intellectual level. But I was really shown it multiple times on a deeper level.
And I like to think of it like there are lessons, karmic lessons, cosmic lessons, whatever you want to call them. There are lessons that your soul needs to learn and the universe will keep delivering the circumstances that you need in order to figure out those lessons.
In other words, this is like I’ve said this before, what’s in the way is the way. The thing that keeps coming back around is exactly the work that you need to do. Here’s the thing, we can go lifetimes not learning these lessons until we finally do. And they feel like tapping into deeper levels of awareness is like this is clearly my lifetime and this was clearly the year where the universe is like, you are not listening to me. Hello, McFly. How many movie references can I throw into one podcast episode? We’re on our second one.
I just feel like the same lessons kept coming back around and I kept going, “Where? I don’t understand. What’s happening? No, it can’t be that over there. Let’s go look over here instead.” So every single time that I launched, I had something significant happening in my life almost always completely unrelated to my business, okay. But it was affecting my sleep and my mental health.
So I set these huge big goals every launch, and there were big goals within launches too. I was really pushing myself on so many different levels. And every single time I had a launch, there was always something. And I was lamenting to one of my peer coaches, why I love peer coaching, why you’re going to experience peer coaching in the mastermind.
I was like, “It’s always something.” And this is me getting a little whiny. “Why is it every single time I launch there’s always something happens? Why is it always something?” Even you guys right now, you remember a couple podcast episodes I did an episode where I could barely talk, right?
Three out of the four members of the family got sick after Thanksgiving, right before my last launch of the year. And my husband was in bed for eight days, I was sleeping on the couch. And then I got sick so I wasn’t sleeping. I lost my voice.
And it was supposed to be all of this time, I had it built in an entire week to review everything, to plan everything, to dot my Is, cross my Ts, do some really deep thinking and really be so prepared. More prepared than ever. All of the lessons I’ve learned from every single lunch this year was all pouring into this one.
And then it was just like boom, plague shall descend upon the Latta household and Amy shall not get more than five hours of sleep at night for like an entire week. I’m going to be honest, I was pissed. Totally, I’m being so honest with you right now. I was so pissed and here I am on the phone with one of my peer coaches, oh, Vicki, I love you so much.
I was just like, “It’s always something. Why does it have to always be something?” I don’t understand why every time I’ve gone to launch this year it has been something. And every one of the things has affected my sleep. Either it’s been actual insomnia from like hormone fluctuations. Hello, 47 year old perimenopausal woman. Or it’s been something that’s happened that I have then lost sleep, because even with journaling and getting coaching it would be keeping me up.
That is kind of how I’ve always operated, is like I have insomnia sometimes. And it always hit before a launch. You just don’t even know how bent out of shape I was. It’s always something, why? And that was the ding ding ding, that I had not made the connection.
And my peer coach, Vicki, did. She was like, “You seem to think that there can’t be a shit show in order for you to feel confident.” I was like, “What? I’m sorry, I’m going to need you to repeat that. Sorry, the judge doesn’t agree with that statement. Can you try again?”
I got it down that I don’t need results in order to feel confident in my ability to get results, that’s solid. And that’s what I 100% teach, I’m going to teach you in the mastermind, I teach all the coaches. It’s the number one thing you’re going to learn. And that’s why you’re going to make $100,000 is because you’re going to learn that you don’t need the $100,000 in the bank to believe that it’s coming. You don’t need consistent consults on the calendar to believe that the consults are coming. I get this.
I’ve got this down pat. This is what I’ve spent years learning and mastering. And what my peer, Vicki, pointed out to me was that I was still putting my confidence as being dependent on how many hours of sleep I was getting before I would go into a lunch. Whether or not there was a shit show going on in my life before I went into a launch.
Now that was some next level confidence right there. I understood that I don’t need results in order to feel confident. That’s why my belief never wavered all year. I got the opportunity to practice feeling multiple emotions at the same time. And this is like a classic thing that every one of my clients learns in the mastermind, the presence of negative emotions is not a problem.
And I understood on an intellectual level that the presence of circumstances that are– The second half of that life is 50/50 role, like the negative half, I got that. I understood that life is 50/50. But my physical being, whether or not I was getting good sleep. Whether or not my body felt well rested, and that my mental clarity because I had gotten certain levels of sleep and that I had gotten certain amount of deep sleep, that that was intact.
That sounded to me very much like a circumstance. I need to be mentally, cognitively, and sleep wise in tip top shape in order to have confidence that my launch is going to be successful. To have confidence that I can show up and do what needs to be done, that I can problem solve.
That’s really where it was, is that I need my brain to be in tip top shape in order for me to be able to problem solve for my clients and to solve problems and do Gigi thinking and all these high level coaching concepts that I teach. And oh my God, I can’t even tell you, this was some uncomfortable shit. I did not like this. I did not like her pointing this out to me.
But what I love about our ability to learn and grow is as soon as she pointed it out, like really, as soon as she pointed it out that I have the belief that I needed so many hours of sleep at night and so much deep sleep in order for me to work during the day. As soon as she brought the awareness that I was attaching that to my confidence and my ability to work my business the way that I wanted to, it was like, “Oh, of course. Of course.”
And of course the thing is, is I’ve been like this my entire life. I’ve always attached how many hours of sleep, how well rested, I feel how clear my brain is to my ability to create success or not create success. To my ability to perform well. To my ability to create what I really want to create. This goes back, way back. I remember this as far as in high school, definitely in college. Like I got to get good sleep or I’m going to fail this test.
So not only did the universe take 2021 to disturb some really deep seated beliefs and feelings that I was still operating by. But it also decided that this was the year that it was going to keep throwing shit shows at me so that I could learn to not make the shit show mean that anything had gone wrong.
Now, if I had hit my small goals and those small checkpoints along the way throughout the year, would I have learned those lessons? I mean maybe, it is certainly possible. I’m not saying that you have to have a shit show in order to learn lessons. I’m never going to say I had to have it work this way in order for me to learn this lesson. But this is how it worked out.
What are the reasons I’m sharing with you in this podcast and me pulling back the curtains and saying, hey, look at this year where I literally failed at every single goal that I set. Look at this year where the universe decided it was time to let go of some deeply rooted stuff that I’ve managed to avoid having to get coached on up until now, from early childhood. This is the year where the universe decided it was time for me to learn that the shit show not only isn’t a problem, but maybe it’s an indicator that it’s go time.
And the funny thing is, this is a little bit of a side note about what if the shit show is an indicator that it’s go time. That’s how I became a really confident speaker. It’s because I used to get so much anxiety and I felt so nervous before I would go to speak live. The idea of doing live speaking in college, I was a minor in communications. A minor and I still dropped it because it required me to speak in front of a class too much. I was like, “Nope, I’m out don’t like it.”
To now where I’m somebody where I can just hop on a podcast or hop on a Facebook Live, or do a five day training. That five day training for Make More Offers I did, I did that extemporaneously. I just knew the subject of the day and I just taught the stuff off the top of my head.
But that confidence came not because the anxiety or the nervousness ever went away. But I realized that maybe the anxiety and the nervousness was a sign that it was ready to go. I just figured out how to not make that a problem.
Oh, so as soon as Vicki says maybe the shit show isn’t a problem, I was like, “This is just like anxiety. I’ve done this work before.” If you’ve never done that work before, no worries. I’ve done it so many times now that I can 100% coach you through this.
And I just really think that it’s super important that we tell these stories, because each of you are dealing with these types of situations in your own way. Truly struggling to believe that you can create a new result in your life, and for most of you it’s that desire to create $100,000 coaching business for the first time. And you’re doing it without evidence, without proof that it’s happening.
And so to be able to establish that level of belief, belief in your bones, got it, check. That was already built into the mastermind. You know that there are always rules that are some part of us that are so ingrained in us. There are rules that we are following that we don’t really have to. And that being an entrepreneur and building this business from scratch, you will bring those rules up to the surface to be able to challenge them and let go of them when you’re ready.
And to be able to teach you how to feel the conflict of the old rule still being there while learning the new rule. To hold two opposing things at the same time. I became a master at that this year. Boom, that is now, it was already kind of in the mastermind, but now I’m just going to be teaching it in a new up-leveled way, thanks to my experience this year.
And then most importantly, whatever keeps coming back around, whatever keeps showing up, it isn’t there to just annoy you or bother you. But it’s probably one of those lessons. It’s one of those things that when you’re ready, it’s there for you to let go of.
Now some of you know what these things are, whatever keeps coming back around. Whatever keeps annoying you. Whatever keeps like, “Oh, this thing. If only this thing would go away, then I could be successful.” This is the work for you to do.
The good news is that this work is not nearly as complicated or as hard as we think it is. I really want to offer you that as soon as those old hardwired rules from my childhood were discovered, it was super easy to let them go through just the, “Oh, of course.” Now I teach a very specific process to unbelieving, so that is new work to you, no worries. I’m going to teach you how to unbelieve.
But unbelieving really is such an amazing skill that you just get better at. At this level that I am at, I’m able to just like, “Oh my God, I see it. Yep, dropping that one like a hot potato. We’re not going to keep indulging in that baby.”
So to be really clear, the unbelieving didn’t take me all year, the work after the awareness that took all year. It was getting to the awareness part. Once the awareness of what was going on underneath the surface came to light, it was super easy to change. The willingness to see what needed changed was the harder part. The change part was actually pretty easy.
So no matter what you’re doing right now, do make sure you do an evaluation for this year. I just talked about evaluations a couple episodes ago. So I want you to write down what worked this year. I’ll tell you this, I didn’t give up. That sure as heck worked. I’m going to tell you this, I still made more money this year than I did last year. That worked. I’ll tell you this, what worked for me is I never gave up on me. I raised my hand and I asked for the coaching that I needed to get.
I was willing to use the skill of Gigi thinking and ask myself what I do know and what I am sure of. And to reach out to coaching for when I need it. Now, I’m definitely better at all of that the second half of the year than the first half of the year. Because the first half of the year I was like, “Oh, this year’s going to be super easy.”
There was definitely a lull, there was definitely a dip where I was like, “Holy crap, this year is going to shit really, really fast. What is happening?” And I had to feel those emotions before I was like, ‘Okay. What are we going to do about it?”
So what worked is I didn’t give up. I didn’t give up on my thought work. I didn’t give up on my coaching. I didn’t give up on my dreams. I didn’t give up on my goals. I didn’t give up on any of my clients. I was like, hey, listen. And now the standards and what we are doing in the mastermind at now, a year later, than a year ago, holy cow. This mastermind is 10 times more powerful than it was than just a year ago because I went through this year.
What didn’t work? All right, remember, we’re going to do a what worked, what didn’t work, and what I would do differently. What didn’t work? Well, I didn’t hit a launch goal. I didn’t hit any of my goals. I can say that that didn’t work. I can say that I had to learn some hard, uncomfortable lessons. And that I did resist some of those lessons before I realized that all of this was working in my favor.
I could say that the same lesson came up every single time and it took me at the end of the year before I really was figuring out how to show up for my coaching so that those lessons could be figured out. It took me to the end of the year to stop running away from the same thing that kept popping up over and over again.
So what will I do differently? I would say like literally everything, and then also nothing, right? Next year has already been planned, so what I would do differently is I do have a different plan for this next year than from this year. So what I would do differently is still probably how I would show up for me. I would say reaching out to different members of my mastermind to get different perspectives.
I’ve already committed to posting in my mastermind group every single week, even when I don’t think I need coaching. Because that was something that I did notice that wasn’t necessarily working, is I would wait until I was in a crux before I would go like, “You know what? Something doesn’t seem to be working.” In this last quarter of the year I noticed that I was starting to show up more of like, “Okay, what do you guys see that I don’t see?”
So next year, I’m committing to doing that every single week. Because we don’t meet every single week in my mastermind. We don’t talk every single week. You do have to step up and ask for the coaching that you need. So I’ve made that commitment that I’m asking for coaching every single week, even if I don’t see where I might need coaching.
So I will ask you what worked? What didn’t work? And what will you do differently for 2022? And how is it possible that 2021 was the best thing that could have happened? Because it’s going to give you the lessons that you needed to have your most successful 2022.
All right, my friends, so that was my year. That was my year where I didn’t hit one goal. And I guarantee you, this year is what makes me a million dollar coach. I just thought I was a million dollar coach before. Now I know I am because I’ve experienced this year and I know what it really means to never give up, to always believe, to lean all in into the discomfort, and to dive into the thing that I don’t want to dive into because that’s where the lesson is.
That’s what’s going to make me a million dollars. That’s what’s going to make you your money. That’s what’s going to make you the most irresistible coach to your ideal clients.
All right, coach, so do your evaluation. Have an amazing, happy New Year. I will see you this time next week. So we are going to talk about what we’re going to do next. And until next week, let’s go fuck some shit up.
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