Ep #35: Becoming Anti-Complacent

You are listening to episode 35 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where we shut complacency down, my friends.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello my confident coaches. How’s everybody doing out there? We’re doing fabulously. I hope we’re doing fabulously. That you can find fabulousness no matter what else 2020 wants to bring, we’re looking into July, it’s the first week of July and we are ready, whatever you’re going to throw at us. Death Stars out the window, laser chickens, Godzilla climbing out of the sea, we are ready. You hear me? It’s where we are, right?

I am super excited about today’s episode. As with so many of my episodes, this one came out of a conversation with a client and you know I love those so, so much. And it’s a little bit ranty, lots of love. I mean, you know that’s what you get with me.

By the way, I just uploaded an audiogram to Insta stories from last week’s episode and I say right a lot, like right? You know what I mean, right? So thank you for loving me in all of my glory because realizing that as I was listening to the audiogram, I was like, I said right like, three times in a row.

But friends, what you see here, I guess what you hear here, what you see is what you get with me. There is no hiding. To know me is to love me or not. I’m good either way. That’s how self-confidence works, my friends. If you love all my rights and likes and yeahs and umms and pauses, this is me. This is Amy.

This is what you’re going to get with me, which by the way, if you haven’t connected with me on Instagram, why the heck not? Because my Insta stories are super funny and good and awesome. They are the stuff of inspiration.

For real, in my Insta stories, you’re going to get behind the scenes of what’s going on here at Confident Coaches, at Amy Latta Coaching, snippets of my real life, business life, family life, just downright silliness and fun. Connecting with other brilliant life coaches because I follow so many of you guys and you follow me back and I get to connect with you.

Quotes to motivate you and inspire, book recommendations, media recommendations. So if you are not already following me on Instagram, listen to this podcast, do the work, because this is anti-complacency, and we are getting anti-complacent. You hear me?

But after that, hop on Instagram, go look up Amy Latta Coaching or my handle is @iamamylatta and let me connect with you. Let me meet you. Alright, so let’s dive into complacency and what it means to become anti-complacent.

So as I already mentioned, one of my fabulous Confident Coaches client Joanne Harold, shout-out to Joanne, brought this conversation up recently, and I thought this was such a great conversation that she and I had and I knew it would be so helpful to so many people.

Isn’t this why we love our clients? Side note, pro tip, you don’t know what to write about, listen to the clients that you have and the struggle that they have. They are an endless well of content for your potential clients, right? For potential new clients.

So what she asked me was how can she identify the difference between compassion and complacency, because to her they were feeling very similar. Now, here’s the scenario. Now, you’re working on your stuff. You’re working on your mental stuff. You’re working on your belief, you’ve been doing the work.

And results wise, you’re not as far as you thought you would be. And you have a couple of choices here if this should happen on what you can think about. So as a for instance, you thought you’d have x number of dollars or x number of clients by June 30th of this year. So by last week, you thought you would have some stuff in the bag and you just don’t.

But you’ve been working. You hired that coach or you’ve been doing all of the work of this podcast or you have been diving in. You’ve been doing the work but you don’t have the results yet. You could beat yourself up, you could show yourself compassion, you could also get complacent.

Now, beating yourself up, this is something I specifically teach inside of Confident Coaches, how to become a person who does not beat themselves up. In fact, it’s an entire step of my five steps to creating self-confidence.

So when you become a Confident Coaches mastermind member, you get lifetime access to my Confident Coaches member site. So not only do you get the six-month mastermind, not only do you get to coach with me in the private Facebook group and all that other fun, super fun stuff, but you also get access to my member site, which outlines step by step, through videos and workbooks how to feel more confident.

And step four is have your own back. How not to trash talk yourself, how not to beat yourself up when shit’s not going the way you thought it should be going. And so Joanne has been working with me since late last year. She’s actually a one-on-one client that just wrapped up because I no longer work with one-on-one clients. I only work with them in the group masterminds.

And she has come so far in her confidence. There are old beliefs that she came to me with that she just does not even believe anymore. She just doesn’t even indulge in those things anymore. But results wise, she did think she’d be farther along in clients and revenue.

Now, she’s not beating herself up. We spent a lot of time working on that inside the coaching program, but she is noticing, she’s like, I’m feeling compassion for myself, or is it complacency? Can’t quite tell the difference was what she came to me with.

And so to help you figure this out, this is where you tell yourself it’s okay to be where you are even though that wasn’t the plan. Is this good, is this bad, and how do we know the difference? So you’re not beating yourself up for not having the result that you wanted by June 30th, and you are like, it’s okay that I’m where I am, but how do I know whether I’m being compassionate with myself or how do I know if I’m being complacent?

So let’s really lay this out here because this is a super important conversation because this is a long-term confidence killer. This is a long-term confidence issue. So as a coach, you’re looking at the first half of 2020, and let’s say you did not hit your goals, you are not where you wanted to be by halfway through this year, and some questions might be flitting around your head.

Like, how come I didn’t make more offers? Why didn’t I sign more clients? Why didn’t I show up more? So most of my clients, their goal is to become a 100K earner. So working with me, our goal is to get them to the place of making $8000 a month because 8K a month, that’s $100,000 earner, my friend.

So my goal is that through the course of the Confident Coaches program, you’re getting to that place where you’re consistently making 8K a month so that you become that 100K earner. And you’re looking around at your business right now, the first week of July and thinking, “Nope, I’m not there. I’m not there at all.”

Now, I can teach you how not to beat yourself up. If that is the struggle that you’re having, definitely go back to the beginning of this podcast and you want to look for, I believe it’s episode five where we talked about having your own back. And I probably have a few more episodes around that, but that’s not what this podcast is about.

This podcast is about you’re not beating yourself up and yet you still might be indulging in some shitty thinking. Only it’s more tolerable shitty thinking, but to be clear, it’s still shitty thinking. It’s still not confidence-producing thinking.

So how can you tell the difference for having compassion for yourself and where you are right now versus having complacency with where you are right now? So compassion for yourself is to honor how far you have come. Look at the work that you have done. Those beliefs that you have shed, like my client Joanne. We laid it out.

Where she was at the end of last year when we started working together and the beliefs that she had that she no longer even has anymore. Where was your confidence six months ago versus where it is right now, on a scale of one to 10? Have we had any movement there?

We focus on taking responsibility for the results that you have created, even if they are not what you had planned for them to be and we take responsibility for the results that we did not create. And we’re going to come back to that in just a second.

So put a pin in that comment that I just made because we’re coming back to that. Compassion for what you have yet to accomplish is super imperative. It’s so important. It’s like loving your body in order to lose weight. Loving yourself where you are right now in order to improve what needs to be improved. It’s creating change from this place of love as opposed to creating change from a place of hating where you are or despair or desperation for where you are.

We’ve talked about this before. Creating change from a place of hating where you are or despair, it doesn’t work. I mean, maybe in the short-term you can willpower your way through, but hating where you are or despair for where you are, it’s a terrible long-term strategy.

But compassion, compassion goes a long way. Compassion invites growth. It invites you to lean in. Complacency however, says, I think I’m going to stay right here. I mean, no, you’re not beating yourself up, you’re not hating where you are in order to grow, but it’s the energy of waiting, not growing.

Complacency says, oh, I still just have so much more to learn. I’m going to wait until I’m certified or I just decided that I really need to work on my website, I really need to get this funnel figured out. I need to go complete whatever this project over here is before I can show up and make more offers and attracts more clients.

It might also look like, you know what, I’m just going to take a short break. There’s a lot going on right now. I’ve got this move I wasn’t expecting, I’m going to take a couple days, or maybe even a couple of weeks. Complacency is stalling. Did you get that vibe? Did you get that sense?

Now listen, there’s nothing wrong with learning more. There’s nothing wrong with getting certified or completing a funnel or a website. But if you wanted to create clients and income by this point and you haven’t, are you using those things as an excuse for that?

And you’ll know because complacency is an indulgent emotion. Because there’s this energy to it. It’s this, this is hard energy. This is hard and I just kind of don’t want to anymore. Can’t I take a break from growth for a while?

Did you hear it right there? It’s very teenager-y energy. It’s a little whiny, it’s little entitled, it’s a little victim-y. It’s, you know what, I just cleaned my room yesterday and I did yard work today. What do you mean I have to help in the garage tomorrow? By the way, I have a 14-year-old, so those are actual words that would probably could out of his mouth this past week.

It’s that kind of energy. It’s making excuses for yourself, which is the opposite of taking responsibility for where you are. And it’s lying to yourself that you are okay with being right here. Because you had a goal to reach by June 30th and you aren’t there. And you’re lying to yourself if you decide now after the fact that this is totally okay.

You know like, it’s okay, it’s fine. You know that internet meme of that dog sitting in the break room with a cup of coffee on the table and the entire room is on fire and he’s all like, it’s fine, this is fine. That’s what you’re doing right now if you are wallowing in complacency. You’re the dog sipping the cup of coffee while the entire office is on fire like, it’s fine, it’s okay, I’m learning, I’m learning how to get out of this burning building.

Complacency is what else do I have to do? Compassion is where is my next area for growth? And then leaning into that. And that’s really how you become anti-complacent.

First, to lean into the growth that is still waiting for you from a place of love and grace and compassion for yourself, and asking yourself, where is my next area of growth? What do I have yet to figure out? What have I avoided up until now? What have I been resisting? What work came up and I decided to turn the other way first and figure something else out first?

Maybe now is the time to lean into that thing that you know is there. Your thing that’s in the way. What’s in the way is the way, right? Is that your area for growth? So becoming anti-complacent is being willing to identify where you still have growth and be willing to lean into it.

And then as I mentioned before, we’re going to unpin what I mentioned before. Take responsibility for what you have created. Taking responsibility for all of your results. One of the things that I do inside my Confident Coaches mastermind is every week I have my members post an evaluation of their previous week.

And this practice is to help them learn how to take responsibility for everything that they create, that their results aren’t happening to them, they are creating them. We get into this habit where we either don’t take responsibility for any of it, like the business just happens to me, or we take responsibility for what we didn’t want to create, but we struggle to take responsibility for what we did create.

That, oh, it’s probably a fluke kind of thing. No honey, there’s no such thing as a fluke. You own all of your results, the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. So your goal was to be by 8K a month by now but you’ve only made $500 a month or $1000 a month, how did you create that? Own how you created that. Own why you didn’t create more.

There’s no judgment here. Remember, we’re doing this from that place of compassion. We’re doing it from this place of love. What thinking created that? What thinking got in your way? What were you resisting? These are the kinds of questions you want to answer when you are owning everything that you’ve created.

And if you’re struggling here, put the result that you got in the R line of the model and work your way backwards. What actions created that? What feelings drove those actions? What thoughts created that feeling? Own all of it.

And this is so much easier to do from a place of compassion and you won’t do it if you’re in a place of complacency because my coaches, owning all of your results, the good, the bad, the ugly, that’s what a CEO of a business would do.

And that’s point three here because CEO, that’s you. That’s what you are. You are the CEO of your business. Yeah, you, right now, listening to this. If you have a coaching business, you are the CEO of that coaching business. It’s no one else. It is you.

Even if you’re just starting out, even if you’ve only made a couple thousand dollars, maybe, you are the CEO of your business. And a great question to ask yourself about being where you are, if you find yourself trying to decide what to do this next month and you aren’t sure if you’re being complacent or compassionate, ask yourself, what would the CEO of your business do?

Now, this is a lot like future you. I teach my masterminders to ask themselves, what would future you do? But sometimes, especially after not hitting that goal, not being where you want to be, future you can be a little touchy. It can be a little difficult to get in touch with her.

So what would the CEO of your business do? Would they wait until the certification is done? Or would they wait until this website or funnel was complete before they started showing up and making offers? Would they take the entire month of July off while you go figure shit out?

Probably not, right? This was a great question that came up in another coaching session actually. My mastermind from January that is just now wrapping up yesterday. I already miss my amazing coaches there. One of my coaches has had this situation come up.

It’s a very long story, but a very long story short is she is moving but she’s not moving where she thought she was going to. That fell through. So she still has to be out of where she is not but she doesn’t have a place to go. All her stuff is boxed up. She’s got to figure out where she’s going.

There’s a fiancé, there’s a fiancé’s job in the mix here too. And so she was like, maybe I just don’t do anything for July. And so I asked this question of her. What would the CEO of your business do here?

If you’re the CEO of your business and you just found out that your business has to move, that the lease, the landlord on this building is kicking everybody out for whatever reason, would you go tell your employees to not work for an entire month while you figured this out? Or would you figure out a way to figure out the solution to the problem and keep moving forward? What would the CEO of your business do?

It’s a great question to really check yourself and make sure you’re not in this place of complacency and actually in a place of moving forward. And that’s because the CEO of your business knows that this coaching thing that you’re doing, it’s the future of your business. This is where you are headed. And your future needs to be nurtured and loves and figured out and you can’t do that from this place of complacency.

It needs to be nurtured and figured out no matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many setbacks or missed goals that you encounter, no matter your results. The CEO has that big picture in mind of where you are going, and you, my friend, are the CEO of your business.

Anti-complacency is CEO energy, my friends, and you absolutely got this. So anti-complacent, this is what we’re learning today. First, you want to ask yourself where your next growth is, where do you need to lean into. And you know the answer to this. This is what you’ve been avoiding, this is what has kept popping up in all of this work that you’ve done and you just haven’t 100% leaned into it yet.

Then you want to own all of your results. How did you create the results that you did get? How did you create the lack of results? Own all of it. Your business does not fall out of the sky. It does not happen to you. All of the results in your life come from what you’re thinking and how you are feeling. Figure out what those things are and what mindset shift you still need to make.

And lastly, what would the CEO of your company do? Because that CEO energy is signature anti-complacency. Own it, my coaches. Own all of it. And until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.

Friends, I am so excited to offer you a podcast-only treat. I am sharing with you the five-day Unblock Your Confidence mini course. It is only available to The Confident Coaches Podcast listeners and the only way to get your hands on it is right here. Why do you need this course?

Well, in this five-day mini course, you will learn why it seems like you struggle with confidence when others don’t, how to build trust in yourself, how to get over your fear of failure, how to stop caring so damn much what other people think, and the best thing you can do to unblock your confidence today.

All of that in just five days. This is some of my best work waiting for you. Visit www.amylatta.com/unblockconfidence to get yours. Again, that’s www.amylatta.com/unblockconfidence. Go now and get started today.  

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at www.amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.