The process of building up our confidence often feels tremendously scary, doesn’t it? It requires us to step outside of our comfort zone and do things we’ve never done before, and truthfully, we’d all like to avoid doing scary things, but we know deep down it’s what will get us to where we want to go in our businesses.
If you’ve been a listener here, you’ll know that I tell my clients to make an offer a day, to take that little step every single day of building up their confidence to pull off brand-new things and sign clients. But today, I’m introducing you to an even bigger, even scarier concept called barf club, and I’m inviting you to join.
If you’re ready to get comfortable in the discomfort required to become a confident coach, you’re 100% in barf club, my friends. We have to be willing to do what scares the crap out of us over and over again, and I’m showing you how doing this is the fastest route to having the coaching practice of your dreams and becoming the confident coach you want to be for your people.
You are listening to episode 68 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you join barf club. It’s fun, I promise. Let’s go.
Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.
Hello, hello my confident coaches. How are my Latta loves doing out there? I hope you are doing amazing. And listen, this year is – okay fine, this year is really stinking crazy and cooky and weird. I guess a lot has happened since the start of the year.
But we are chugging along. We are already in the last week of February and this entire podcast is about the concept of a barf club and jumping into the barf club and being happy about the barf club. And I actually wanted to share with you guys a little piece of my own barf club. That I’m hosting a brand-new live event, never before done.
I’m hosting a half-day live event. It goes on sale this week; it might even be live now. But if it’s not live yet, it will be this week. So I want to make sure that you are connected with me on social media, on Facebook or on Instagram. I’m @iamamylatta. Make sure you connect with me there or that you’re getting emails from me. The freebie I offer at the end of this podcast gets you signed up for emails from me.
Because this live event is kind of part of the barf club that I am in right now. Now I’ve done live trainings before and I’ve even hosted a two-day event with my private mastermind students, but this is a fully produced, I have rented a space outside of my home, I have a production team coming in, we have pre-recorded training videos, pre-recorded – I don’t know what you want to call them – fancy kind of motivational videos.
It’s going to be live coaching, live Q&A, a four-hour talk show production, high production value, a tech crew on board. I’m very excited. I’m incredibly nervous. I’m 100% in the barf club category right now because I’ve never done anything like this before and I could not be more excited because it’s going to get more of this confident coaches work that we do together, it’s going to get more of you involved than ever before.
That’s what I’m so excited about. It’s a way to bring even more of you in who aren’t quite ready to do the mastermind or to help you see, oh, if I can do this in just four hours, what can I do over the course of six months or even working with her in two rounds of mastermind for a year?
So I want to make sure that you don’t miss it. It’s Confident Coaches Live. It’s called Getting Unstuck. Who needs to get unstuck? I know you do, my friends, Confident Coaches Live, Getting Unstuck. We go on sale this week. Get your $97 ready and tell your coach friends because Confident Coaches Live is a real thing and it’s the second week of March.
And so I can’t wait for you guys to be there. And that’s what this episode is all about. Doing things that are so tremendously and wildly outside of your comfort zone and they have you all up in knots and the nerves, the anxiousness, the can I really pull this off, I don’t really know, it’s completely new, it’s brand new, it’s outside of my comfort zone, it’s 100% what we’re talking about today.
But before I do that, I do have to share with you, I love, love, love, love when you guys take the time to leave a review for my podcast on Apple Podcasts. It means the world to me, I know it’s an extra step out of your day, I know you don’t have to do it, but I wanted to share with you a brand-new review that we have from – now, I am going to do my best to not butcher this name.
So Sarah Shiozawa. I really hope I’m pronouncing that correctly. Sarah Shiozawa left a review. Now, I have been interacting with Sarah. I see her in my Instagram, I see her on my Facebook, she comments, she shares, so I kind of feel like I know Sarah a little bit already, so my heart just swelled three times bigger than normal when I saw her leave a review.
And here is what Sarah shared on Apple Podcasts review. She wrote, “Brilliant, fun, incredible takeaways. I first found Amy Latta after bombing a live practicum coaching call. Afterwards, I listened to every single podcast episode, taking notes and seeing immediate improvements in my coaching practice. I’ve applied the five steps for confident coaches over and over. Thank you, Amy, for sharing your incredible insights each week.”
This review right here makes me so stinking happy. And actually, it kind of has a lot to do with the topic that we’re talking about today, barf club and my $97 Confident Coaches Live. I think about – I have so many people comment to me, “I’d love to work with you but I just can’t do your mastermind right now for so many different reasons.”
I have a high level, premium level, premier coaching level mastermind. It is very high-level coaching and I’m a certified master coach. You’re going to work with me for six months in a small group. We do very elevated coaching, very high-level thinking. It is a premier level coaching program. It’s $10,000.
And so, so many coaches say I’m just – I’m still working on the $25,000 that I’ve paid to get certified, or I’m doing this right now. And so what I want to offer you is that this podcast right here, this is an offer right here. You can work with me for free. You can have me in your ear every single week and you can get results just by listening to the podcast.
Sarah is a premium example of that. I have other fan favorites that comment all the time and they’ve never spent one dollar with me. That’s why I introduced also the Confident Coaches Live. So here’s another way that you can work with me and get even more.
So no matter where you are on your coaching business, you can work with me for free via the podcast, have me in your ear every week, you can work with me in a four-hour live event where you’re actually going to have the opportunity to get coached, watch other people get coached.
I’ve taken the five concepts, the five steps of creating self-confidence, and I’ve boiled them down into three simpler steps and you’re going to get a workbook and you’re going to be able to do the work in a concentrated, devoted four-hour block of time. And then if you still want to go even deeper, the mastermind is waiting for you.
I just want you to imagine this. If you can get this much out of a free podcast, imagine what you’re going to get out of a four-hour live event. If you can create that much in a four-hour live event, imagine what you can create with me over the course of six months or even a year.
That right there, I want to offer you all coaches right there, any time you think I worry about people not being able to work with me, you have different ways of offering things to people so there’s lots of levels that they can work with you on. If you just have a paid program and something, a free, whether it’s regular emails, a podcast, just regular posts on a regular basis, speaking on Facebook Live, whatever that might be, you are offering value and you are providing ways for people to work with you.
Okay, that was a little bit of a tangent. I hope you don’t mind that I went on that tangent. But I think it’s really important to see that people can work with you and you can give value in more ways than just your one way that people work with you. Your paid coaching.
So what I want to talk about now might extend that a little bit. The idea of welcome to barf club. What am I talking about? What do I mean? So I teach a concept inside the Confident Coaches Mastermind called an offer a day. And basically, that just means getting into the habit of making offers to work with me every single day.
So basically that means meeting people, and this is right out of my coach Stacey Boehman. I’m in her two-million-dollar group. She has an entry-level group called 2K for 2K. It’s right out of her 2K playbook. Meet as many people as possible, tell them that you’re a life coach, and make offers to help them. That’s all you need to do in order to sign clients.
You don’t actually need all that other stuff. And so inside Confident Coaches, I help my clients work on the belief and the mindset work that will help them to make offers every single day if that’s what they’re struggling with. We also have a couple other tools such as daily fails, or an ask a day. But the idea is what are some small steps outside of your comfort zone that you can do, that you can engage in to build your confidence?
Now, we’re going to work on unbelieving all the crap thoughts that you think about yourself, all your Helga thoughts, we’re going to work on believing what you want to believe about yourself, we go deep into self-concept and your future you and becoming a powerful decision maker. And then when we first get started, we’re talking about taking those small steps outside of your comfort zone.
I want to use this analogy of a Sunday drive. So my husband Trey and I, that’s the handsome hubby. Say hi Trey Latta. The handsome hubby and I love to take Sunday drives. We live in Missouri and we don’t live far from the Missouri wine country.
Now seriously, don’t laugh. It’s a real thing. I know one time SNL did a skit where they talked about wines from Missouri and it was a punchline and it was a joke, and I’m like, we actually do have a really lovely wine country and it’s not that far from where I live. I live in suburban St Louis and the Missouri River wine country area is very close to my house. We’re talking like 20 minutes. And you can hit a string of wineries, boom, boom, boom, boom, right off Highway 94.
So very frequently, not necessarily right now because it’s like, three degrees and six inches of snow on the ground, but very frequently, Trey and I love to take Sunday drives. And we will venture out into Augusta and Defiant in the Missouri wine country and we will take these Sunday drives.
Now, they are out of our norm. It’s not something we do all the time. It gets us out of our house, it’s a little light exploring. We’re not going crazy, we’re just kind of breaking out of our normal, out of our normal routine, out of our normal comfort zone.
We’re not off-roading in the Jeep. We have a Jeep. So we’re not off-roading on a Jeep or anything like that, but we’re going out for a Sunday drive and we’re doing a little wine country exploring. And we’re breaking from the norm, right? But sometimes, sometimes we get lost on purpose.
We will turn off the main roads, we will explore some back gravel roads. We will purposely and intentionally have no idea what we’re doing or where we’re going and that is the entire point. We will get so far outside of our comfort zones on some of these drives sometimes. Like tremendously outside of our comfort zone.
We will find ourselves in a place we’ve never been before and we’re not entire sure how we got there and we’re not entirely sure how we’re going to get out, though we always have the confidence that we’re going to figure it out and we will find our way back to where we need to be. But we are willing to get ourselves so far off the beaten path, so far out from what we would normally do, and that is the adventure of it. That is the discovery.
There we will frequently find beauty and exploration and life and things we never would have considered or tried before. You see what I’m saying? Do you see where this is going, right? Sometimes we have caught ourselves in a mud pit, sometimes we have caught ourselves where we were on the verge of trespassing on somebody’s private property.
But it’s all part of the adventure and it’s exciting and it’s fun, and yeah, you might get a little dirty but eventually you figure out how to find your way back. That, my friend, is the difference between an offer a day and barf club.
An offer a day is that Sunday drive that’s out of your norm but you kind of do it a little bit all of the time and you can find comfort in stepping just outside of your comfort zone, versus the off-roading, completely off the beaten path, getting lost on purpose, not sure where you’re going or if this is going to work out but having the confidence it will come full circle. That’s the difference between an offer a day or a small daily fail or a small ask of the day and full-on barf club.
Now, I first heard about barf club from my coaches – actually, this is my coach’s coach and my master coach. My master mentor coach Brooke Castillo. She first started a million-dollar mastermind a couple of years ago. And at the time, there was only three – maybe four or five people in it. And this was a term that I first heard from them.
Katrina Ubell, Kara Loewentheil, and I heard them talking about barf club. And I was like, what are they talking about? That sounds awful. I want no part of that, right? Now, this was before I became a confidence coach. This is when I was still figuring out confidence for myself. And this just scared the shit out of me. I was like, I don’t really think I want any part of something called barf club. It sounds awful. I want none of it.
And now, now my friends, I am in my own million-dollar mastermind. So my coach Stacey is in Brooke’s million-dollar mastermind and now Stacey has created a million-dollar mastermind and I’m in hers. So you kind of see that chain of events, right?
So when they were talking about barf club, Stacey was actually where I am now. Making that kind of $400,000 to $500,000 a year. And now she’s a six-to-10-million-dollar coach. And so you can just kind of see, she’s just a little bit ahead of me. I remember at the time I don’t know about this barf club thing and now I’m in a million-dollar group where barf club is what we do all of the time.
This is how we live. And so I just want to introduce this concept to you, the difference between a little bit outside of your comfort zone and tremendously outside of your comfort zone. Because here is the thing; you don’t create confidence doing what makes you comfortable. You create confidence by going outside of your comfort zone.
And you can create more confidence faster by going way outside of your comfort zone more often. It’s the difference between being willing to step out your comfort zone just a little bit, that willingness to step into your discomfort just a little bit, and your willingness to take the car out there and just get lost out there in your discomfort. And are you willing to get lost in your discomfort?
So let’s really break this down. Let’s break down barf club. You can write down barf club. Let’s break barf club down just a little bit. The first point is kind of what I’ve already said, which is the reason you would even want to do it. Because I remember when I first heard it, I was like, no, not for me, don’t want to do it.
And now that I understand it, I get it. It builds confidence faster, and that means more results faster. You get what you want sooner when you are willing to do barf club over just a simple offer a day. Your willingness to do what scares the crap of you over and over again, this is really building that emotional strength muscle of operating in discomfort and learning that you don’t die there.
Becoming comfortable in the discomfort of the growth that is required to become a confident coach and become confident in building a coaching business. This is where you are making that decision and you’re implementing it and then you’re testing it and evaluating it and then you’re tweaking it and then you’re making a new decision and then you’re implementing that again and you’re doing that again and again, over and over again without huge amounts of time in between each of those steps.
You simply get there faster. You learn more in a shorter amount of time. You create more confidence, and you wire it faster. So in the past couple of episodes, I’ve talked about unbelieving is kind of unwiring all those wires that have you in doubt and believing is wiring those wires for belief, and you forge those connections faster and those wires become fused faster when you are in that barf club mode, where you are making more decisions and implementing them and you’re getting farther outside of your comfort zone than you normally would.
So the reason why you want to join barf club is because you just become more confident faster and you get your results sooner. And you get more results faster and sooner.
So what does it actually mean to join barf club? We get this in concept. What does it actually look like? So it’s also really important, so the second point here is it’s important to understand that barf club is going to look different for everyone. It’s going to be defined very differently.
When people come into the Confident Coaches sphere, my world here, people come to me with very different business stages. Not everybody is brand new. Everybody comes in a slightly different stage, but the line of thinking is all very, very similar.
So your barf club is going to depend kind of what you’ve already done in your business and what you haven’t yet done. So the definition of it is going to be different for everyone. And I see it as what’s the thing that you keep thinking about, but you keep avoiding doing?
So last week’s podcast episode was about asking for permission. If you haven’t listened to that, I strongly recommend you listen to the past few podcast episodes, but the asking for permission episode, I had you think about the thing that you think you need permission for and what would it look like to drop that.
So another great question to ask yourself that would get you into barf club mode is what’s the confidence builder here? What’s going to create more confidence for me? Is it going to be working on my website? Or is it going to be hosting my first webinar? Is it going to be research in writing, or is it going to be hosting a series of Facebook Lives?
In the amount of time that you’re going to work on your business, there’s all kinds of things that you can do that are a little bit more passive in action, a little bit more kind of working inside of your business as opposed to really on your business and out there with people, and then there’s this stuff that really has you out there and getting in front of more people.
And so when you have a choice between, I can work on my website or I can do a Facebook Live, that’s the difference between the small step of discomfort and the big step of discomfort. So there’s another great question. Which one of these things that I could possibly do today is going to create more confidence for me when I dive in and I do it?
So another way to think about what gets me into barf club, what puts you in front of more people? What has you meeting more people? So what’s going to put you in front of more people, get you meeting more people, and actually connecting with more human beings on the other end of the table?
So that right there is a great indication too. This is more barf club worthy than this over here. This has me playing a little bit bigger, this has me playing a lot smaller. There’s another question you can ask yourself. What has me playing big? Where am I playing small? And what would it look like to play big in this area that I keep playing small?
That right there might help you define what barf club is for you. Another barf club opportunity, what has you taking a stand and saying something that sets you apart? Taking a stand in a way that has people potentially disagreeing with you, but it will draw your people in. I still remember one of the original barf club members Jody Moore, when she said the more people you are repelling, the more people are you attracting.
So sometimes barf club might just be the audience you always have but making a firm stand with them and being this is who I am, and this is what I believe in, and you know that there are people who are going to be like, wow, that’s a sharp stand and I didn’t know that’s what she thought. But now we aren’t muddying the waters and trying to make everybody happy, but now your people are going to be like, her, she’s my person.
So sometimes barf club is just making a strong stand too. I coached my mastermind students all last week on what barf club was for them. And everybody had kind of their own different take, because again, everybody’s in a slightly different place in their business. But at the end of the day, what it is is what is tremendously outside of my comfort zone instead of just a step or so outside of my comfort zone.
So again, joining barf club is going to look very different for every person, and some great questions to ask are what puts me in front of more people, what has me meeting more people, what’s a stance that I believe firmly in that I’ve never declared before that I want to say in front of those people, what will create more confidence for you? Go do that thing.
Okay, so the last thing I want you to consider when you’re thinking about barf club are your obstacles to barf club. Now, this has been coming up for me a lot because you know, I am in full-time barf club in the two-million-dollar group with my coach. I am one of 12 coaches in this group and we’re all doing amazing things, we’re all hitting these amazing goals, and four of the people have already become millionaires, which is they’ve made a million dollars in less than 12 months.
And the other eight of us haven’t quite yet, and it’s really interesting. I actually made a list of the things that I was thinking, like what do I think they have that I don’t? And really what I came down to was just it came down to a bunch of things that I realized I have a bunch of excuses that I don’t think they indulge in.
And this is what I realized. This is when it became my own personal list of my obstacles to barf club. So these coaches that are further ahead of me, and I think what do they have that I don’t, and really what it comes down to is here are the things I indulge in and I throw a little pity party over that they don’t.
So as a for instance, sleeping. Maybe they’re sleeping better, or their hormones aren’t as crazy as mine, or for me, my husband’s working 60 hours a week right now and our kids have been home because of all of this crazy snow that we’ve been having. Maybe for you it’s small kids at home.
Maybe it’s just you’re a little out of sorts, or there’s something in your family that’s going on. It’s some excuse that you might use to avoid going all in on the thing that you really know you want to go all in on. It might also be I think I need these other things in place before I go do that barf club work.
And so this is a great question to ask for that. So as a for instance, before I start making more offers, I need a website, or I need a landing page, or I need a freebie, or I need to have well-written copy. No actually, you don’t. You don’t need any of those things. So that’s one of your obstacles to barf club.
I want you to approach it this way. What would you think about you if you had those things in place? And what do you think other people would think about you if you had those things in place? Because whatever you think you would think or they would think, you could just choose to believe that now.
Because it’s not the existence of those things that would make people think that of you. It’s just what you think of you. So your obstacles to barf club might be something that’s outside of you right now, like your sleeping or your health or something going on in your family or your kids or your husband. It might also be what you think you need in place before you can join barf club.
Now, if none of that is true, then what? And so I was looking at this list and I just said what if none of that stuff is a problem? Sure, I could make it a problem, but why? Because I don’t have to. And you don’t have to. You could choose to believe those things about yourself now and you could choose to make those things not a problem. What are you allowing to stop you from going all in on barf club?
So one last note, you might be asking in general, this entire podcast, this entire topic might have you totally put off. You might be like, I don’t want anything to do with any of this, I don’t want to be in anything called a barf club. And I know this is a possibility because this is where I was a couple of years ago.
That sounds terrible. Why would I want to do that? So listen, I’m going to reiterate this again. Listen, everybody lean in. Put your headphones in, stop and really think about what I’m getting ready to share with you here. Confidence does not come from doing what you know you can do. It comes from doing what your Helga brain says that you can’t.
Doing what your Helga brain says you can’t, that is uncomfortable. That will make your stomach queasy. You will feel nervous and anxious. Anything confidence building will do that. And you can build that confidence slowly or you can build it faster. It is all your choice.
You don’t have to join barf club. I want to be an entrepreneur and build a thriving life coaching business and feel confident doing it, and I’m not currently there yet, and I don’t want to feel any discomfort. Friends, that right there is not a thing. Discomfort is part of the package. The more discomfort, the sooner your brain learns what you can do, what you are made of, and the more confidence you will create.
You can choose to go slower. But discomfort’s going to be a part of the package either way. It’s not avoidable. And this also does not have to be a problem. As my coach Brooke says, discomfort is the currency of your dreams. And this is just part of the thing that we are doing.
So discomfort is always going to be a part of the package and it’s not avoidable, so why not bring it on? Why not do the thing? Why not join barf club? Because it will get you there sooner and faster and you will create more confidence in a faster amount of time than you ever have before. Why not go all in on that?
Alright my friends, so that is what I’m offering you. So if this is the kind of work that you want to do, you 100% need to be signing up for my barf club. My current barf club, which is the Confident Coaches Live: Getting Unstuck. It’s going on sale this week. Make sure you are connected to me either via Instagram, Facebook, or you are getting emails from me.
Make sure you have that information so you can get your $97 ticket as soon as possible. And then in that live event, that’s going to be the kickoff of selling the next round of mastermind. We’re going to be selling it all through the month of March and we start in April for the next six months of work together.
This right here can be the work that you do in this year right now. Why not do it now? Why put off your confidence? Why put off your future? You don’t have to. You can do this now and you can do it with a team of people next to you. Alright my friends, I can’t wait to see what you create this year. Alright confident coaches, remember, until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.
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Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.