Ep #98: The Not-Enough-Its

Hello, you are listening to episode 98 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you stop obsessing about not having enough. Let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello coach, how are you today? Okay, I have to just be honest, I am floating. I am on such a high right now. I’m recording this, this is going to come out next week from where I’m recording, but I’m recording it just one day into my free training that I talked about on last week’s episode, the make more offers.

And really what make more offers is, is just a sliver of the magic that I deliver in Confident Coaches Mastermind. It’s pairing mindset plus an action, every day for five days. In the mastermind we add in regular evaluations and we commit to different mindset work and different actions over the course of a month at a time for six months. And then the evaluations allow us to learn from what we’re doing and test and try different things.

And so Make More Offers, I’m just doing a condensed version of what we do in the mastermind with a commitment to five days to this process that is the backbone to the path to 100K. And in just one freaking day, oh my god, I actually like was in tears this morning. The collective world elevation, yeah, I’m getting a little woo here, that occurring right now Because this huge group of coaches is deciding to make more compelling and more powerful offers.

Like the entire world elevates because coaches who have kept their genius to themselves, they’re just sharing more and in a more powerful way that they’ve been avoiding doing. Like holy shit, I’m thinking about the collective energetic uplifting that is happening right now because of this training. All verklempt, my friends.

It’s palpable the, energy shift. My feed, my feed is full of stories that have never been shared before. Hope that has not yet been promised at this level. People’s lives are going to change from this. It’s fucking brilliant and I am in tears. I’m so emotional.

And here’s the thing, it’s working. We’ve had countless posts just in 24 hours. I’ve never had this many comments on anything that I’ve ever posted. I’ve never had this many shares on anything that I’ve posted. I already have people signing up for my webinar, after just one day. This is just one day’s work.

What’s going to happen by the end of the week? You guys are already going to know because by the time you hear this, it is next week. But I don’t know yet. And just think about this, this is what’s possible. Like visually, six months of this work. It’s like we can create this in one day, in one week. Have I said holy shit yet?

Holy shit, what can we do in six months? What can you do if you commit to this for six months or even 12 months or 18 months? I am still just in awe.

Now, shifting into today’s topic though, I know a huge concern that you or that many coaches I know have to committing to six months of this work, six months or longer to this work, is what I’m calling the not enough its.  Kind of like a cabinet case of the fuck its, but it’s the not enough its instead. I don’t have enough, fill in the blank.

What’s your I don’t have enough? What’s your not enough it? I don’t have enough time. I don’t have enough money. I don’t have enough experience. I don’t have enough material, content. I don’t have enough clients. I don’t have enough.

What I currently have is not enough. And that one sentence right there is such a confidence killer. Like how can you possibly believe in the inevitability of your success and the amazingness if you are like, “Where I am right now is not good enough. It’s not enough. I’m not enough.” Like how inspired are you right now?

Because as soon as you say that, let’s really think about this. I’m going to invite you to do a little body scan right here. As soon as you say, “I don’t have enough” what happens in your body right now? Tell me. I don’t have enough. Say it out loud, I don’t have enough. Say it out loud again, I don’t have enough.

How do you feel in your body right now? Do you feel tight, constricted? Maybe this can happen sometimes. Maybe it’s more buzzy, twitchy, or anxious. And I can only presuppose what’s going on inside you, but I can guess that light and airy, open, and flowing, ease and calm, that’s not happening right now.

I don’t know if I described what’s exactly happening to you right now. I would guess it’s probably one of those first three things. But I know for sure it’s not open, and welcoming, and curious. Right? Because I don’t have enough is just like, “Oh.” It’s dread. It’s fear. It’s anxiety. It’s inadequacy. It’s so many different possible feelings, all of which are no bueno. They do not feel good.

I really want to offer you that “I don’t have enough,” it cuts us off from what else is possible. It cuts us off from our future. It cuts us off from the next step. From the next step, the next minute, the next step, the next day, the next week, the next month. It cuts us off from what’s going to happen or what is possible to happen.

It’s simply a wall that we put up that cuts us off from any problem solving. How can you possibly do an evaluation from a place of it’s not enough? What’s working? Nothing’s working. Nothing’s possibly working. There’s nothing I got that’s working right now. What am I going to do next time? Doesn’t matter because what I got isn’t enough.

You can’t do a critical thinking, you cut yourself off from problem solving, any kind of introspection, any kind of nuance, any kind of perception. You’re cutting yourself off from any brainstorming, or new ideas, or out of the box things. All of that’s cut off from us as soon as we’re like, “I don’t have enough.”

It is a wall to finding any solutions to whatever you don’t think you have enough of. I don’t have enough doesn’t solve the problem of not having enough. I don’t have enough money is not going to help you solve for getting more money. I don’t have enough time is not going to solve for creating more time. It completely cuts you off from the ability to solve for that and figure out how you can do less or create more or whatever.

There’s like 2,700 possibilities and you’re cut off from all of them as soon as you say it. Because really, when you think and believe, just because it’s in your head doesn’t mean you have to believe it, and y’all are believing it. Because when you think and believe, “I don’t have enough time,” how able are you to get done everything you said you were going to get done?

How inspired are you to take massive action and show up consistently, every day with thoughtfulness, and decision making, and taking those next best steps and deciding what you’re going to do and test it and evaluate it? How inspired are you to do that? How likely are you to follow through on what you said you were going to do when you’re believing I don’t have enough time?

And what about I don’t have enough money? I don’t have the money to join the mastermind, Amy. I’m looking at my bank accounts, it’s not there. It’s just not there, I don’t have enough. How likely are you to solve for that? To make a plan? a proactive plan?

How likely are you to brainstorm ideas? Find out of the box solutions that you’ve never considered before? How likely are you to list out all the ways that you have somehow had what you’ve needed? How is that true that you’ve always had what you’ve needed? If you’re believing I don’t have enough, you’re not taking those extra steps.

And it’s all the same when it comes to your belief about not enough experience, not enough material, not enough clients. How likely are you to reach out for free peer coaching or offer free coaching and go coach as many people as possible when you’re like, “I don’t have enough experience”?

I don’t have enough experience is not going to create more experience for you. It’s going to shut you off from the feelings and the actions that are required in order to create the experience that you’re saying that you want. When you put it this way it’s almost infuriating to watch it going down. And yet we believe it so easily.

It’s the same thing with like content and material. I don’t have enough content, I don’t have enough material. Great. Do you feel inspired to go create more from the place of what I have isn’t enough? Are you inspired to go do what it takes to write to your ideal client, to make lots of offers to your ideal client, to get on the phone with them and to powerfully show up for them in the consult call when you’re thinking what I have isn’t enough? No.

Maybe you can overcome that by sheer willpower and grit. But it feels fucking terrible. And why? Because you don’t have to. When you choose to believe you don’t have enough you just simply don’t take the actions that would help you find what you do have and what you can use.

You might be able to like white knuckle this shit, but man, that’s only going to last for so long, eventually you’re going to get really stinking exhausted.

And it’s cutting you off from focusing on what you do have, what you can use. Because I want to offer you that what you currently have right now is more than other people. Maybe not all the people, but we’re talking about seven and a half billion people in the world. And whatever you’re not enough it is, there’s somebody somewhere who has less than that.

Now, that doesn’t mean like, oh, they have less than that, therefore you’re better than. This isn’t a less than, better than type of thing. It’s just it’s all perspective. And whatever story you’re telling yourself is optional.

Now, I want to be really clear, none of us have managed to avoid a scarcity mindset conversation, right? We’re all very well versed, that’s a term we hear all the time in this industry. Oh, you just have a scarcity mindset. You need to work on a growth mindset instead of a scarcity mindset. Oh, this can all be solved by let’s talk about your scarcity mindset.

Which is fine, there’s nothing like really wrong with these conversations and with these talks. But I really want to offer something to you, that actually I take all of that back that I just said. I think it is wrong. I think it’s really shitty to address all of this in a scarcity mindset box.

I am not going to at all help you overcome your scarcity mindset because what I’m going to tell you is that you don’t have a scarcity mindset. Because let’s think about this, “Oh, I just have a scarcity mindset when it comes to money. I just have a scarcity mindset when it comes to time.” You want to know what that sounds like? That sounds like some sort of disease that they only have experimental treatments for.

“Oh, money. Yeah, I have a scarcity mindset around money.” Oh, is that an official diagnosis? What’s the treatment protocol? Or it’s some big giant thing that you have to overcome and work through. And it’s going to take a lot of time and oh, shit, you see what I just did there? We just slipped back into the not enough its.

If it wasn’t time you were talking about already, we’ve now just brought up another not enough it of not enough time. You don’t have a scarcity mindset. Just like you’re not a perfectionist. You’re not a procrastinator. You’re not a people pleaser. You don’t have a scarcity mindset. No, you are just believing a thought that your Helga brain likes to tell you.

And just because it’s there, you do not have to believe it. It can be and it is as simple as that. And you can pull up all the evidence that you want, you can show me your to-do list in your calendar, you can show me your bank statements, you can show me all of the coaching sessions that you’ve had, all three of them. You can show me your list of clients, or lack thereof. You can show me the post its that you’ve created. But it is always a thought that it is not enough.

It’s not a mindset, you have to fix. It’s not a mindset that you need a treatment for and then you got to work through and you have to overcome. It’s just a freaking way of thinking. It’s like you can choose to believe that thought just because it’s there. You can, that is an option. But why?

And that’s really the question. Seriously, ask yourself why. Why choose to believe that whatever you’re not enough it is about, why choose to believe it’s not enough when you don’t have to? Just because it’s all you ever heard your entire life? Just because it’s all your parent ever said to you? Just because of the dollar amount that’s in your bank account right now?

Because you could just as easily believe that you have exactly what you need in this moment right here. That this moment right here in time, as you are listening to my voice, you have everything that you need in this moment. And that’s the most important moment there is for you right now.

You have exactly what you need to do what you want to do, to take the very next best step. And one next best step after another, after another, after another gets you more of what you want.

You can choose to believe that even when you didn’t know how, you have always had what you have needed. There has always been a solution, even when you weren’t sure what it was going to be or how it was going to come about. And you can even create a list of how these alternative non scarcity thoughts, these enough its, I mean, I’m just making shit up at this point.

You can even create a list of enough its. You can spend time listing how you have always had enough time. Go make a list of all those times you didn’t think you had enough time, and yet you actually did get it all done. Or some things did fall through the cracks and you’re still here to talk about it and everything is actually still okay.

Or you can make a list of all the times that you’ve had money come in that you weren’t expecting it. Or that you found a solution you didn’t immediately think of. You can think of all of the times where you have actually had what you’ve needed. Go make a list. Think about all those lifetimes, all of those life experiences that you’ve had where you were sure you didn’t have enough.

And yet you persevered, you worked through it, you solved it, you figured it out. It may not have been without discomfort. But the discomfort was more coming from the, “I don’t have enough and have no idea how I’m getting out of this” versus the, “Okay, this is the situation that I’m in right now. What can I do about this? How can I solve for this? What resources are available to me right now? How is it true that I’m going to be okay?”

You can just as easily believe that you have enough as you can believe that you don’t. And when you entertain that possibility that you do have enough of whatever you’ve been convincing yourself that you don’t have, then you can direct your brain to see how that is true. Listen, your Helga brain, your brain period is always going to seek out the information that you want to prove, confirmation bias.

There is another well-worn term in this industry, right? Your brain will always go seek out information to confirm what it wants to believe. Why not go seek out information to confirm something that you actually do want to believe because it’s going to serve you so much better.

It’s like I’m offering you two platters right now. My hands are out right now and there’s two platters right in front of you. And one has a thought that feels tight and awful and it sucks ass. And the other platter has one that feels so much better. And it inspires you to keep going, it inspires you to make that next best decision for yourself.

And you want to keep choosing the dish that feels tight and awful and sucks ass just because it’s a habit that you have or just because you’ve never chosen the other one before. And I just want to offer you that you really don’t have to. Unless you are in a crisis situation at this exact moment, to which there are still resources that we can reach out to and help with.

One platter of tight suck ass or one platter of feels good inspiration. It’s your choice, what are you going to eat off of? And here’s why this matters so much. This is really so important. This is why this conversation is so critical to have. If you have the not enough its now, more of the thing that you don’t think that you have enough of, more of that is not going to make the not enough its go away. Nope.

There are people who think that they don’t have enough money right now and yet they are–  I could pull 10 of you who are all telling me that you don’t have enough money and I guarantee you, you have wildly varying bank accounts.

You could have $500 in the bank, $5,000 in the bank, $50,000 in the bank and you could all still believe that it’s not enough. Because it’s not the amount that creates the enoughness, it’s your thoughts. The number doesn’t determine enough. The amount of time doesn’t determine enough.

When my kids went to school and I had 40 hours a week to build my coaching business and yet somehow, I was always running out of time. It wasn’t enough time. And I couldn’t figure out how moms with small children or women who worked full-time and were building a successful coaching business. I had 40 hours a week and you’ve got like 10 and yet I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn’t enough time.

I had 40 hours a week, I had all the time that I needed. It wasn’t the amount of hours available to me that determined my enoughness. It was my thought about not having enough time.

Your brain is conditioned to believe whatever you have isn’t enough and no new amount will ever be enough. You will have a little hit of like a little feel good drug for a hot minute, for like a hot minute. I’m going to be honest with you, when you do actually get to that path to 100K and you’ve made that first 100K, you will have that hit of like, “This is amazing.”

And it’s going to last for like one hot minute. And then it’s going to be done. And then your brain is going to like reset itself. Suddenly, that new higher amount will now become your baseline. And now it’s not enough. What used to be amazing and fabulous in the past becomes your normal. And now it becomes not enough.

Your brain is going to constantly reset itself. It’s going to constantly reset it’s not enoughs. It’s simply not true if you think more time, more money, more experience, more material and content, more clients will put an end to you believing it’s not enough. Because the circumstances don’t change the thoughts, you do.

You do by seeing the two options served up to you on a platter and simply deciding. The not enough its kill your confidence. It kills your belief that whatever you want is inevitable. Your belief that you can create whatever you want, even if you haven’t done it before. The not enough its simply do not serve you because they will not inspire you to feel better and inspire you into action so that you can create new results. Create the very results that you are desiring.

They simply don’t serve you and you can decide you don’t want to play footsie with them anymore. No more footsie with the not enough its. Do you hear me? You can get more direct, more personalized coaching on this in the mastermind. And we are enrolling right now for the October 2021 class. How lucky are you right now?

There’s no reason not to apply, no matter what you’re not enough it is. There’s no reason when you fill out the application, amylatta.com/mastermind. You can schedule a consult call with me and you can tell me what you’re not enough it is. And let’s coach through it. Let’s see what else is possible when you get coaching.

I’m going to be serving up some dishes, some buffets of there is exactly what you need right now, over the course of the next six months. Let’s see what you can create with that. What kind of new offers you’re going to create, what kind of new clients you’re going to get from that. You ready? All right, let’s do it. Amylatta.com/mastermind.

All right, my friend, notice this week where the not enough its are. How do they come up? Be aware of them. Visualize those two platters that are available to you Which one are you going to eat off of? All right, let’s do this work together. It’s that important. So until next week, let’s go fuck some shit up.

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Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.