Ep #122: Rely On You

The Confident Coaches Podcast with Amy Latta | Rely On You

There is nothing more empowering than deciding you have the authority to make decisions for yourself, but it’s a lot easier said than done. 

It’s really no surprise that relying on ourselves is challenging. We’re socialized to believe we have to regurgitate what other people have taught, or that going against the grain makes us social outcasts.

If you’re looking for a step-by-step method for signing clients, or you’re hoping that I’m going to give you a plan, Free to Paid Coach is not for you. On this episode, you’ll learn why learning to rely on yourself doesn’t just feel fabulous, but it’s what will get you paid. 

 

All of you deserve a program that’s going to help you right where you are, no matter what level you’re at. That’s why I’ve created a brand new program called Free to Paid Coach. It’s the place to be if you’re a coach in this industry because it’s going to teach you the foundational concepts of confidence that get you from being a free coach to a paid coach who makes six figures and beyond. 

Doors open on March 21st and so much gold is waiting for you inside, so get on the waitlist because the first 25 people who enroll get a bonus free masterclass with the opportunity to personally coach with me!

If you want to make your path to $100K inevitable, you have to join me in my Confident Coaches Mastermind. We’re only running one more class this year, happening in August, so don’t delay this work. Mark your calendars and join the waitlist!

 

What You’ll Learn:
  • Why Free to Paid Coach isn’t going to give you the step-by-step method for signing paying clients. 
  • What happens when you rely on other people for answers. 
  • Why learning to rely on you is the key to building confidence. 
  • The difference between relying on me and relying on yourself. 
  • How relying on yourself isn’t a lonely endeavor.
Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:
Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to episode 122 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you stop relying on other people and rely on you instead. All right, let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello, coaches, coaches. I am so stinking happy to have you here. We are in the midst of a five part series, this is part three. We are talking about relying on you today. And relying on you is step three of my process for my brand new program. So if you’re catching this episode not as part of the others, I have just announced a brand new beginner level, entry level program called Free To Paid Coach.

This episode is dropping on March 8th, this is so exciting. That means that in just two weeks, the doors open. So if you’re listening to this like way in the future, Free To Paid Coach is already open and running. But Free To Paid Coach opens on March 21st and I cannot wait to have you there.

Now, I want to drop a little note right here that I came up with. I came up with, and actually it’s totally tied into this episode, relying on you. I came up with a masterclass that I’m going to give the first 25 people who enroll. It’s How To Sign Your Next 10 Clients. But you got to be one of the first 25 people to enroll. Okay, so I’m going to drop a website address here for you right now. Grab your pen and paper, hit pause, whatever you need to do.

Go to amylatta.com, that’s A-M-Y-L-A-T-T-A.com/FTPCwaitlist, all one word. FTPC, Free To Paid Coach, FTPCwaitlist. Got it? Get yourself on the wait list. And what’s going to happen is I’m going to open the doors for wait list participants before I open it to the general public. I don’t have the exact timing down yet, you’re just going to want to make sure you’re getting those emails, and I will be dropping, you’re going to know, okay?

So in the next two weeks you’re going to know exactly this is when the doors open for wait list people, and this is when the doors open for non wait list people. You’re going to know in advance, I just don’t know at the time of this recording. So make sure you’re on that wait list. Again, amylatta.com/FTPCwaitlist, got it? And you want to be on there for the master class.

And the master class subject, the topic is kind of related to today’s podcast episode, which is about relying on yourself. And as I mentioned, this episode is the third of five in a row. We’ve been going step by step through the Free To Paid Coach process that I’m introducing to you guys. March 21st is the day the doors open.

And the bottom line is this, Free To Paid Coach, it’s just flat out the confidence program every single coach in the industry needs. Because confidence does not come with getting paid, but confidence is what gets you paid. Y’all see that really important difference?

So many of you think once I’m paid, once I have dollars and cents in the bank, then I will feel confident. So let me go get those things so then I can feel confident. And I’m like, no. You might have a short burst of adrenaline, it kind of starts to become like a little shot of like heroin or something. Confidence can really be that way where you’re like, “Oh, yeah, oh, I did that and that’s so exciting.” But you would be so surprised.

And my clients in my mastermind know this. How many of them their confidence dips, or their belief goes down after they have a big win? Because then your brain starts saying you can’t replicate that. Where did that come from? You don’t know how you did that. That all came outside of you.

It’s not really until you have huge success in the mastermind and then you have that dip that comes afterwards, that’s when. That’s when the confidence work really starts going because that’s when you’re like, “Oh, I thought this was going to make me feel confident and I actually feel less confident. And now I finally understand the damn tools that Amy’s been trying to teach me the whole time.”

This is why taking multiple rounds of the mastermind can be so important for you, because it really is truly understanding that nothing outside of you, no amount of clients, no amount of dollars can ever create confidence for you. But confidence that comes from inside of you, which is exactly the five steps that I’m going to teach you in Free To Paid Coach, that confidence, that’s what’s going to get you paid.

And not just get you paid, but get you paid and feeling good. Get you paid and feeling confident. Confident, not because other people are telling you that you’re worthy, but because you are figuring it out on your own.

And just a quick note, if you haven’t listened to the first two episodes in this series, it’s not required but it would probably help make sense. They build on each other only because I’m going through five steps. So if you’re like, “Well, what about this? Or what about that?” I might have talked about it on another episode.

So you don’t have to listen to the first two, but it would definitely be helpful if you went back and listened to them. I mean, honestly, you should be going back and listening to all of them, because there’s so much damn brilliance in this podcast. But even if you just start with Episode 120, that would be a fabulous place to go.

Now the Free To Paid Coach steps are super simple. Number one, believe you’re a paid coach. Number two, learn to handle the discomfort of asking for money. Number three, rely on yourself instead of others. Number four, stop beating yourself up when you fail. And number five, keep going until you are a confident paid coach. Simple steps, right?

This week is all about relying on yourself instead of others. So I can tell you this, so I announced this program a couple of weeks ago and I said, “All right, hit me up.” Hit me up in the DMs, hit me up, you know, hit reply on emails I’ve been emailing. If you get emails from me, you’ve probably seen emails. And I had said, “Hit reply, ask me your questions. What questions do you have about the program, payments, et cetera? Whatever your questions are, and I will get them answered.”

And one of the number one questions that I am getting, it’s like frequently asked question of almost any program that’s out there, right? It’s the most frequently asked question I get for the mastermind and now it’s the most frequently asked question that I get from this evergreen group program.

So to be clear, free to paid coach is an evergreen, all of the time, once you are enrolled it’s a one-time payment, you’re in it forever as long as the program exists. It’s a group program, so it’s going to have an unlimited amount of coaches, we get weekly coaching in a webinar format with me.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, you get lifetime access to the member site. You get private the Facebook group. You get weekly group coaching with me, as I’ve already mentioned. It’s $1,000, one time, hello, get your butts ready to be in there, right?

And then I have the mastermind, which is your path to 100k. Which is six months at a time, which is high-level, small group, intensive work where you really learn how you’ve created the results that you have and how to replicate those results. And the number one question I get for both programs is are you going to walk me step by step in getting clients?

Are you going to give me the step by step method that gets me new clients? And the answer is fun because the answer is well, yes, and also no. Like yes, of course, I’m going to give you the exact process that you need to sign clients. And no, it’s not what you’re going to want me to give you.

Here’s the thing, it’s the exact process that I wish I had when I first started. And it’s the exact process that you need from getting your first free clients, like if you are a brand new coach, or if you’re someone who wants to start a coaching program and you’ve never even worked with clients. And you just need to get a couple of like free people under your belt, take them through like a six week basic coaching program just to get a few clients under your belt and show yourself that you can do this thing.

It’s the same process you need from going from free to your first paid clients. It’s the same process to go from those handful of paid clients to consistent paid clients. And quite frankly, it’s the process you’re going to build on when you’re scaling to six figures in that mastermind level, right? So yes, I’m going to teach you step by step how to get clients through this process. But no, because I’m not going to tell you exactly what to do.

Here’s what I know, here’s what I know if you are asking that question, are you going to give me the step by step of how to get clients? What I know is you want somebody to deliver to you something that is not actually going to help you. And it’s not going to be the process you want me to give you right?

People who ask this question are looking for someone to tell them what to do. Like open this account here, and post this here, and say this here. Do this and then do this and then do this, it’s all action. And listen, I’m going to use weight loss as an example, there is no lack of do this and don’t do that. There is no lack of step by step how to lose weight information out there and yet how many people aren’t doing it?

It’s because it’s not the what to do that matters. That’s not the process that you need, because that’s not what confidence is. And that’s where I want to give you the good news here. The good news and the good news. The good news is that Free To Paid Coach will not give you the post here and say this here and do this here. Nope, not at all. You’re not going to get that from me. Want to know why?

I mean, there are so many reasons why, the weight loss analogy is the first one because it doesn’t freaking work. But the most important reason I’m not going to allow you to rely on me, and instead I’m going to teach you to rely on you, is that this is a confidence program.

Hi, have we met? My name is Amy Latta and I am the confidence coach for coaches. And me telling you what to do, does not create confidence in the most important person in your business. Who is the most important person in your business? It’s you. What’s the most important thing, what’s the most important asset of your business? It’s your brain, it’s your mind.

So me telling you exactly what to do and not to do builds confidence in me and in my brain. That’s not what you want here, right? Can you imagine running a business and the business owner has all their confidence in someone else outside of their company? All of the confidence, and all of the strategy, and all of the decision making of a business, it comes from someone not in the business. That’s crazy talk.

Like imagine Bill Gates has all his confidence in Steve Jobs, but not himself. That would be like super weird at minimum, not sustainable, like not anything. Most importantly though, it doesn’t create confidence in you. And when you are looking for someone else to give you the answers as to what to do, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to trust in yourself and build confidence in yourself.

And that, my friends, not only does it feel amazing, not only does it feel fabulous, it’s what’s going to get you paid. And quite honestly, if what you are looking for is someone to give you the step by step method and actions in getting clients, schedule this here, sign up for this here, do this here, then no, do not buy Free To Paid Coach, you will not be happy, it will not work for you. Because you’re going to be waiting, well wait a minute, what do you want me to do? And I’m going to be like, here’s all the tools that you need to figure that out.

And before we get into that point right there, another really good piece of information, like another reason why this is really good news that I’m not going to tell you exactly what to do is because it may not work for you. I’m going to use the weight loss analogy again. How many different weight loss plans are there out in the world? Like a ton, right?

There’s so many different methods to doing this thing. There are so many different methods to losing weight. There’s so many different methods to building your business. How do I know which one’s going to work for you? I don’t know. You could copy exactly what I do and how I’ve done it, and it may not work for you.

And here’s what happens, not only do you not gain any confidence in yourself, oh my goodness, we’re just going to double down on your lack of confidence in yourself. It’s actually even worse. So think about this, I tell you exactly what to do. You rely on me to tell you what to do to get those paid clients. Do this, don’t do that, do this, this, this. Don’t do this, this, this.

If it works, all your confidence is in me and not in you. If it doesn’t work, then you’re going to be going, “Well shit, it worked for her and not for me, I must really suck at this. I must be really bad.” Your confidence is even worse. It is a lose lose situation no matter the result that happens.

And I know this, y’all think I came out of the womb Miss confident human being? No, not at all. Not even remotely close. This is why I’m your best confidence teacher on earth, because I lacked so much confidence myself. Such a people pleaser, such a copier, such a teacher’s pet, such a gold star getter, such a high-achieving got to be perfect kind of person. And then of course, lots of procrastination came into all of that, obviously, right?

I’ve had to work through and overcome all of that, and I can tell you, remember what I just said a little bit ago, this is the very program that I wish I had. A program like this did not exist when I first became a coach. And then I went and got certified because I thought certification would create confidence. No, in fact what happened was, this is one of my favorite stories to tell and I don’t think I tell it that often in public.

So this might be the first time I’ve told this story on the podcast. It’s kind of fun, this might be a little bit of juicy gossip for you guys. So when I graduated, one member of my certification group immediately went to work in a small group program with our mentor. Which the rest of us kind of thought she was crazy, we just paid all of this money to get certified as a coach, why would you continue to spend money to get coached?

Hindsight being 20/20, it’s like I can think of a million reasons. But at the time, the idea that you immediately go hire a coach after you’ve just been certified for coaching, it was kind of a novel idea at the time. Now it’s much more common. So she was the only one that did, and that year, the first year after we certified, she hit six figures in her business. She was the first person in the entire history of the coaching school who did that in her first year of business.

And we were all like, “Whoa, what is she doing?” Notice, none of us connected maybe we should go hire a coach to help us figure this stuff out. Oh, no, no, no. So I’m going to tell you something, I copied all her shit. I went to her website, I signed up for her freebie, I looked at her email sequence, and I copied all of it.

Two entirely different niches, by the way, but I just like changed the language of it, right? I took what she did, I took her sequence, I took the basic information on her website, I changed the names as necessary. And then put that out. Basically I replaced her people with my people. Did it work? What do you guys think? No, it didn’t work. No, it totally didn’t work.

But do you understand why it didn’t work? Do you grasp how I literally did everything that she did, I even copied her formats, copied her templates, everything. I literally just changed the language from her people to my people. Of course it didn’t work, because what was missing from any of that? Me. Hi, there was no Amy in any of that. That was somebody else’s vibe, sequence, system, method.

So not only was I missing from like the copy and the language of it, she’s an entirely different human being whose brain functions very differently than mine. So of course what worked for her didn’t necessarily work for me because I function differently. So not only am I personally different in my essence, and my humor, and my Amy-ness is different. But how my brain functions and operates is different also.

So me trying to replicate exactly what somebody else is doing doesn’t work for me because I’m a unique human being. I think differently, I am different. So are you. Relying on other people in your business is a terrible way to grow. It might work, but that’s not going to create more confidence. And even worse, it probably won’t work and then you’ll feel even shittier, even less confident. Either way, you ain’t coming out of that scenario feeling confident.

Now, if you just want to get paid and you don’t give two shits about how you feel about yourself, well then you probably wouldn’t be listening to this podcast. If you’re just like, “I don’t care, I just want to make as much money, I don’t care if I feel terrible about myself or I don’t even think about confidence.” A, you’re probably not listening to this podcast, because what I’m going to teach you is how to be confident in yourself, trust yourself, be a powerful decision maker in yourself, rely on yourself so that you can get paid.

If somebody else tells you what to do, you won’t know how to replicate it. You will know how to create more of what you want to create. You won’t know how to set any goal and achieve it. Those are the steps I teach you in The Path to 100K Mastermind, again, that we build on these Free To Paid Coach steps, right? You’re not going to know how to do that because you don’t have any confidence in yourself because you’ve been relying on other people to tell you what to do.

You have to learn how to rely on yourself in order to become a paid coach, and Free To Paid Coach is going to teach you exactly how to do that. And that’s how I will give you the step by step you need to getting clients. Not how I do it, or how she does it, or how that person over there does it. The step by step in how to gain clients is going to be the step by step that I show you to figure out how to solve your own damn problems. And doesn’t that even sound much better?

Do you want to depend on other people to solve your problems? Or do you want to be a person who knows that they can figure out how to solve their own problems? One of those is very disempowering and one of those is very empowering. And here’s the thing, let’s break it down just a little bit. You’re going to figure out how to do this, I’m going to break down rely on you just a little bit here for you.

So we’re going to figure out what your superpowers already are. What already makes you awesome? Why would someone choose you over someone else? What makes you you? What do you already know you’re pretty damn fabulous about? We’re going to define that. You’re going to know what your superpower is. What’s your jam already, what you already know you got going for you.

And then we’re going to build on that by what you see in others. I’m going to take you through a step by step process of what you see in others, what qualities do you see in other people that you love? Let’s help you define that because what you see in others is what you value and it’s something that is being reflected back to you. It’s something that’s already in you. You may not feel like you fully own those things yet, but we can’t see in others what’s not in us.

So what you value in others, what you admire most about others, what your superpowers are. You’re going to get into the energy of those things, we’re going to define what they are. And I’ve talked about this on the podcast a little bit before, like way back in some early episodes. So when you’re in that energy of your superpower plus the people you admire most, from that energy, you’re going to start making some decisions from there.

And honestly, that’s what confidence really is. If we were to pull way, way back on my two confidence programs, the Free To Paid Coach group coaching, the mastermind, it really comes down to these are decision making programs. Relying on yourself is tapping into what you see in others, what you see in yourself, tapping into that energy and then making decisions from that place and then implementing them.

Giving those decisions to try. Testing them out. Seeing what works and what doesn’t work. The step by step method to getting clients, you are going to create yourself in Free To Paid Coach. I’m going to give you the questions you need to figure out what those plans are. I’m going to give you the questions you need to go test those plans.

And I’m going to circle back real quick to that wait list that I mentioned earlier that I’m going to give the first 25 enrollees a bonus masterclass. You’re going to get the questions in the program, but 25 of you are going to be able to actually coach with me in a zoom call how to get your next 10 clients. I’m going to give you the questions that you need in order to get those next 10 clients. And 25 of you are going to be able to personally coach with me through your questions.

So this is why you want to make sure you’re on the wait list, so that you can come up with your plan on how to get those next 10 clients. And again, that’s amylatta.com/FTPC, that’s easy for me to say, right? Did I do that right? Free To Paid Coach, yeah. amylatta.com/FTPCwaitlist.

And if you are on there, then I actually am going to be able to give you what those questions are that help you come up with the planning and get some coaching from me in that master class with me and 20 other students in there. So you want to make sure that you’re in there. But I’m not going to give you your plan, you’re going to leave that master class with your plan.

Do you see this really important difference in that? The difference between me giving you your plan, and the difference between me giving you the questions that help you formulate your plan. That’s the difference between relying on me and the difference between relying on yourself.

Be really, really clear, relying on yourself isn’t going like on your own. It’s not a lonely endeavor. I am always in a coaching program with peers and a coach that help me find my own answer. So I’m relying on myself. I’m relying on them to show me my mind and to help me with the questions I need to answer so I can solve my own problems. But I am still finding my own answers. I’m not looking for them to tell me.

So be really clear that relying on yourself is not a lonely endeavor at all. And that’s the difference between relying on me and relying on yourself. Being in a group that helps you answer your own questions versus being in a group where they just tell you what to do. Which is so important because the answers that you come up with will be yours. It will be you, it will be dripping with you-ness and awesomeness.

And this is why copying my peer’s work when I first certified didn’t work, because none of it was me, there was no me in any of that work. But if there are 100 coaches who all do the same thing, they all offer the same result, you got to know why someone is going to want to choose you over someone else. Free To Paid Coach will help you figure that out. You can’t just copy somebody else’s plan. You will become so much more confident when you create your own plan.

And here’s the thing, I know why the desire is there to have somebody else tell you what to do. So I’ve explained to you why you don’t want it, but also let’s understand why you so desperately seek it out. Because we’re going to work on this in Free To Paid Coach also.

So bottom line is we’ve been told from a very young age that other people have our answer, right? School taught us not to find our own answers, but to regurgitate what other people taught us. There were some critical thinking classes to a point, but only after we’d been taught do this, don’t do that.

History has told us, listen, only the few people in power are allowed to decide what is and isn’t okay. And if you weren’t one of the few people in power than who are you? Who are you to go willy-nilly deciding new things? That isn’t allowed. We didn’t okay that.

People were like excommunicated, people were like burned at the stake, people were hung for having original ideas. People were told you have to leave, they were persecuted, they were prosecuted for doing things their own way.

Of course, we’re terrified of doing that. Like who are you to think for yourself? Who are you to go rogue from the pack? Who are you to be unconventional? Who are you to succeed using your superpower and your own plan and not following status quo? That is dangerous.

That has been built into our DNA that it’s dangerous. That gets us kicked out of the tribe. That has us like out on the Serengeti on our own. That meant death once upon a time. And even coming up through like Middle Ages and Renaissance and like, all the way through modern times, if you didn’t go along with what other people were doing and copy what other people were doing, it was like you’re a weirdo at best, and you are a witch at worst, right?

Listen, Free To Paid Coach is not only going to teach you to rely on you, instead of other people. It’s also the room where you’re going to challenge all of that old way of thinking of who is allowed to decide what is and is not okay. Free To Paid Coach is the room where you’re going to learn how to have authority, and power, and the ability, and the necessity to decide what isn’t is not okay for you.

Where you are going to find safety in thinking for yourself and deciding for yourself. Where you will find power sharing your unconventional takes on conventional ideas. Listen, when you learn to rely on yourself, nothing’s more empowering. Finding your own answers, that is empowering. Being told what to do is disempowering. Finding what to do in yourself, that’s empowering.

Relying on yourself is a skill you’re going to want to take with you forever in everything. Relying on yourself is remembering that you are a grown ass woman, right? Free To Paid Coach is going to be a room full of grown ass women and grown ass men, and grown ass whatever you are, you are allowed to be there, you are in there, we have a space for you waiting for you.

It’s going to hold the space for you to make those decisions for yourself, to help you find those decisions. Free To Paid Coach is going to get the patriarchy out of your head so you remember the badass mama jama you are to decide what is best.

So if these are the conversations you want to be a part of you want to make sure that you enroll in Free To paid Coach when we go live. You want to make sure you are on that wait list, amylatta.com/FTPC, Free To Paid Coach, wait list.

So if you haven’t signed clients for money at all, or you just want to hit that first solid 5K, if you avoid anything that feels uncomfortable, like asking people, “Do you want to work with me and give me money?” If you’re not really sure if you can do this, like maybe your belief is a little shaky, because how do you believe in something you’ve never done before?

If you are always trying to copy people because you think they have more authority than you. If you depend on other people telling you, “Hey, you’re doing a great job” because you struggle to believe it yourself. If you beat yourself up for every start and stop, and every miss and every failure. If you let months or weeks go by and you feel terrible about it. If you frequently justify letting life, and friends, and families distract you from your business.

If you’re quick to downplay any money that you make and always see the money that you make as not enough, Free To Paid Coach is going to coach you through all of that. And I’ve made this declaration once, I’m going to make it again. I’m taking 100 coaches with me to $5,000 in the next six months by September. Are you ready? Are you coming with us?

I’ve already got a list of coaches who have said, “I am one of the 100.” Okay? I want you to be one of them. Find this post, I’m asking you to do two things in this podcast episode. I’m asking you to go to the wait list and get yourself signed up, FTPC wait list, and then find this post on Instagram or Facebook and I want you to shout out, “I’m one of the 100.” Let me know that you are in.

And, of course, bring on all the questions. I keep answering all of them between now and March 21st. Okay? We’re learning how to rely on ourselves, my friends. You can do this, coach. You’re going to learn to rely on you. I love you guys so much. Until next week, let’s go fuck some shit up.

Coaches, I have created a brand new freebie offer just for you podcast listeners. I created a brand new training called Stop Over-Complicating Confidence. Because I see my coaches do it all the time, make this confidence thing way harder than it has to be.

In this free training you’re going to learn exactly how you over-complicate confidence, what’s creating that, and how to stop it. Here’s the best part, all of it less than an hour. Less than an hour of your time. You will feel more confident in less than an hour. Yeah, friends, this is the best training I’ve ever done. So visit amylatta.com/podcastgift to get yours. Again, that’s amylatta.com/podcastgift. Go now and feel more confident in just an hour.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.

 
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Hi, I’m Amy.

For years, I took a ton of action to sign clients.

I learned to create self-confidence and powerfully believe in myself first, and then built a multiple six-figure coaching business.

And I can help you do it, too.

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Despite your certification and investing in business courses, no one taught you what you really need. The self-confidence needed to take the actions that consistently sign clients.

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