Ep #12: Part 2: How to Get Anything You Want

You are listening to episode 12 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you create your own magic lamp in your mind.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello my friends. How is my confident squad today? I got to tell you guys; I’m doing fabulous. I have been drinking celery juice in the mornings. Now, for fear of sounding like I’m on a fad here, it’s less for weight loss and more because it’s supposed to help with digestion.

If you all don’t know this about me, I have a variety of autoimmune issues, and while my regular doctors have literally thrown their hands up in the air, there’s a lot of theories out there that autoimmune disorders stem from intestinal lining issues. I know, you’re welcome. Good times.

So if drinking celery juice supposedly helps heal your intestinal lining, and if drinking that first thing in the morning is going to help then I am all in. So anyway, a few days in and I have to tell you, I don’t know how my intestinal lining is doing but my energy is definitely up. I feel really good.

I realize it’s possible it’s psychosomatic. I don’t know, but I just feel less foggy in the head. Do you know what I mean? I feel like my synapses are firing. I also think because I’m getting up and I’m starting my day drinking this first thing in the morning, I have noticed that like, what I eat throughout the day is just better.

It’s just been healthier in general. To be clear, me eating bad is still pretty darn healthy, but when you have a sensitive system like I do, everything really affects how I feel. So I don’t know, all I’m just saying is that I’m starting my day setting myself up to have a good day and I was just thinking, isn’t it funny? I just made one change this week and I do it first thing in the morning and I’m just feeling amazing.

So if you’re out there and you’re drinking celery juice in the morning, I raise my glass to you and I hope you’re feeling more energy as well. I was on a coaching call earlier today and my client was like, “Are you okay?” Because I’m like, “Hi, how you doing? Let’s go, let’s do this thing.” I’m just telling you; I feel good.

So speaking of feeling the energy, we are picking up where we left off last week. Big goals and dreams and having the best year ever kind of energy. This is part two of a two-parter, and you will understand it much better if you listen to part one first because I’m not going to rehash last week’s episode before getting started.

So if you haven’t listened to part one, now would be a good time to press pause on this episode and go back and listen to episode 11 first. It’s only 30 minutes and I suspect this one will probably be about the same, but it’s completely worth your time because we are talking about how to get anything you want. I mean, that’s pretty snazzy right there, right?

I can get anything I want, and you’re going to tell me how to do it in an hour? Yeah, pretty much. That’s what I’m throwing down if you’re willing to pick it up. Now, of course it requires more than just one hour of your time to actually manifest what you want, actually create it, but last week’s episode on how the self-fulfilling prophecy model works, and this episode is on working that model with the end in mind, the very result that you want to create, these are the building blocks of what you need to move forward. Okay, my friends?

So like I said last week, it’s not hard but I wouldn’t say that it was easy. It’s not hard but it does require you to be willing to get uncomfortable. It requires you to consider different ways of thinking, and your brain just doesn’t enjoy that. Mastering your mind is such powerful work and it’s the key to getting anything you want.

Now, before we dive in, let’s give a shout-out to Confident Coaches listener Danita, who wrote this fabulous review of The Confident Coaches Podcast on Apple Podcast. Danita wrote, “Amy is just getting started and she is already on a roll. Listen to this one and you will become a better coach and a better person.”

See, short and sweet. Danita, thank you. Danita is another one of my Confident Coaches mastermind members, and she is setting some pretty amazing goals this year for her coaching business, so I’m super excited to see what we will create together in these next six months.

So okay, last week I reviewed and went in depth into what I call the self-fulfilling prophecy model. My mentor Brooke Castillo has just dubbed it the model. I’ve really illustrated last week how it’s so self-fulfilling. And again, it will really help you to listen to part one of this two-part series, but as a brief recap, the model is CTFAR.

C is for your circumstances. These are the facts of your life that all seven and a half billion people in the planet would agree is factual. Your circumstances create the T line. These are your thoughts. What do you think about your circumstances? These are the sentences you hear in your mind. What you think creates your F line, or your feelings. The one-word emotion that thought makes you feel.

Feelings create the A line or your actions. What do you do or don’t do when you feel that way? And your actions always give you your R line, or your results. And what’s the self-fulfilling part? It’s that your results always refer back to your original thought.

So this week, let’s talk about putting anything you want in that R line using the self-fulfilling model to be your own magic lamp. I want this to happen, I want 10 paying clients, I want a full coaching practice, I want 10 people in my first group. It’s so important to learn how to run that model the front way so you can see how your thoughts really are creating all of your results.

But learning to work it backwards, figuring out what you need to be thinking in order to create the result you want, that’s where we learn to have a lot of fun. That’s when you realize anything is possible and you can actually get anything that you want.

You could also call this episode how to be your own genie, right? Input anything in the R line. You can put anything in the results line. How to get anything you want, we define it, we’re very specific about what we want to create, we put it in that R line, and then we work that model backwards to figure out what actions you need to take, what emotions you need to feel, what thoughts you need to think to feel that way no matter your circumstance.

What I’m going to share with you today, I’m going to share with you kind of a tingle in your toes type of exercise. We’re not going to quite work it exactly backwards. You’re going to see how we’re going to have some fun with the model today. You guys ready?

So do I need to keep saying that this is an active podcast? I feel like I’m 12 episodes in and every single time I’m like, so grab your pen and paper and be ready to pause. I think at this point, I think we can probably assume that every episode is going to be let’s do some work. So let’s do some work.

Grab some pen and paper, be ready to hit pause when you need to, or listen to the whole episode in your car or during a workout or whenever you love to listen and then make sure that you carve some time in today or in the very near future. Do not put this work off so that you can actually do this work.

I know that any time I feel stuck, it’s almost always because I’m not doing the work, right? So we’ve been looking at our goals from a few different lenses, so let’s go ahead and take your big hairy audacious goal that we created a couple of weeks ago, and let’s figure out how to really drive it down into your bones.

So we’re going to start with the result that you want. The R line. My mind always looks at the model from top to bottom, so I will put the C line at the top and the R line at the bottom, even if I am starting at the bottom of the page. So you need to be using your big hairy audacious goal.

I don’t necessarily know what yours was, but it might be to earn $100,000 cash as a coach by December 31st of 2020, or to launch a podcast or an online course, or to have a full coaching practice. So since I don’t really know what yours is, in today’s show, I do need an example so we’ll use a very real result that many of my clients are looking for.

So for this example, let’s put the big hairy audacious goal of earning $100,000 cash as a life coach by December 31st in the results line. For some people, that makes you really nervous but hopeful. For some people, it sounds impossible. So no matter what we are feeling, you can learn to channel the powerful thoughts and emotions that will actually get you there, and not necessarily lean on your default emotions of fear with possibility, doubt, yet a little bit hopeful.

We can learn to really channel some badassery. That badassery is already within you and we know this because you’ve created a lot of amazing things in all kinds of areas of your life. Now we’re going to learn how to channel that badassery to your life coaching business goals.

So I want you to picture yourself. We are on December 31st of 2020. You’re looking at your QuickBooks or your PayPal or your Stripe, and there it is. Total revenue for the year. $100,000. It happened, you did it. Whatever your goal, I want you to close your eyes and imagine that you are there. At that moment of having achieved it, having achieved whatever you’ve put on your R line.

The dollars are in the bank, your calendar is full, the content has been created. Go there in your mind and now I’m going to ask you, how do you feel? Yeah, we’re going to the F line. What are you feeling in that moment? You’ve accomplished the impossible and you’re in that moment. What are all of the one-word emotions coming right now?

Let’s take a moment to write them down. So for the example of $100,000 earned in your life coaching business, what are some one-word emotions that we might be feeling when we’re imagining being there? Pride, certainty, commitment, motivated, confident. With these emotions all stirred up, we’re going to really dive into some vision.

I want you to take yourself there, but we’re going to go just a little bit deeper. You can see the dollars in the bank, the clients on the calendar. We breathe in and we feel what that pride feels like, that certainty, that committed, that motivated, that confident feeling. We’re picturing this in our mind and we’re taking deep breaths into those one-word emotions until you feel that really rooted, grounded feeling in your gut.

So you are in that moment of hitting that goal and feeling all of those emotions, and now I’m going to ask you, what are you thinking? Think back to all the hard work it took to get there, think what you had to say no to, the deep thought work this required, all of the effort you put into this journey. List at least four or five specific thoughts that are coming to you about what it took for you to get to this moment.

And take a moment to pause the show, to pause this podcast and make a list of your thoughts. Here are some thoughts that I came up with when I did this exercise. So some example thoughts might be, “This is just the beginning. I can’t wait to see what else I can create. I am in awe of what I am capable of. If I can do this, I can do anything. I can do really uncomfortable things.”

So now guess what you have? Now you have some individual thoughts, some individual positive thoughts created from the place of you already having achieved your big hairy audacious goal. So when you’re asked what do you need to think to get that result, we have found some answers. You have four or five individual thoughts that will create the emotions you need to drive the actions it’ll take to get the result that you want.

You following me here? So now we can work the model forward again. Just like we learned in last week’s episode. So take each thought that you just found, that you found from that place of already achieving that result, and let’s do a separate model for each of them. What does that thought make you feel? The one-word emotion for each of the thoughts that you just found.

When we feel that way, what actions will you take to get you to your goal, to what you’ve already written in the R line? So go ahead and pause this again and run a model on each of those new thoughts. So now that you have the thoughts and the feelings, you also have a list of actions.

For example, sit and focus time to brainstorm what my clients need. Practice sitting in belief every day. Email my list at least once a week. Make five social media posts a week. Go on Facebook Live once a week. Go to a networking event every week. Connect with five new people every week. Brainstorm unique ways to offer a consult. Evaluate every consult.

So here’s the interesting thing; you probably already knew what actions you needed to take, but now they are fueled with those thoughts and emotions of having already achieved your goal in mind. They’re not just a list of to-do actions. And we already know, that’s not what has worked in the past. You’ve always known what actions you need to take to get to your goals.

I mean, most business building courses out there give you that, but what they don’t give you are the thoughts and the emotions you need to spur that action. Those courses typically rely on the just go do it and the willpower kind of tactics, and then we wonder why we self-sabotage. We wonder why we don’t follow through.

It’s like I know what to do but I can’t figure out why I don’t do it. Friends, it’s the thoughts and emotions part, right? Not just any thoughts and emotions, but your thoughts and your emotions, the one you would think. This is why it’s really so important to take yourself there and imagine what you would feel like and what you would be thinking.

Because you could just write all of that stuff down. I could hand you that list of thoughts and emotions all day long, but if they don’t ring true to you, they’re not going to work for you. Here’s how we get there. We just created what will motivate you from the inside, what will create inspiration and determination and confidence for you. And not just from blanket statements but from things that you are imagining you would already be thinking and feeling if you’ve achieved that goal.

And now you can apply that massive action that we talked about a couple of episodes ago. Now you have a list of actions you know you can do until you hit your big goal, the one that we put in the big result line, right? You keep working those thoughts, working those emotions, and working those actions until you get there.

And we do that by nurturing those thoughts. Imagine that those thoughts, the ones that we have just come up with, you’ve just sat in the vision, in the feeling of having achieved your year-end goal. You’ve come up with these thoughts, right? And now we need to nurture them. They’re like fragile little babies.

You can’t just birth the baby and hope it grows up and figures itself out. No, it needs love and care and attention every day. And this is a big reason for needing a coach or a mentor or even just a podcast to listen to, to keep you moving forward. We can’t just set our intentions and then walk away and hope that it happens, hope that it works itself out.

We have to nurture these big hairy audacious goals that we’ve come up with. We have to nurture the thoughts and emotions behind them. Love them, feed them, take care of them so that they don’t die. So how do we do this? How do you actually nurture your thoughts? What does that actually mean? We spend time with them every single day.

Maybe you’ll just do one thought at a time from your original list you created today. You can take out your journal and write each one of those thoughts out. Take yourself into that thought and the feelings that it creates. What does that look like? What evidence do you have to support that thinking?

Another question to ask yourself when you’re writing about one specific thought is, how do I show up when I question this thought, when doubt creeps in? And it will creep in. What does that look like? How do you show up when you stop questioning? Because the doubt will show up and we will need to make a conscious choice to stop doubting and to believe in our thinking before we see the results.

Really, this episode, if you haven’t figured out, this is strong purposeful belief. We’ve taken it just a little bit deeper than when we first talked about it at the beginning of the podcast, really going there in your mind of having achieved the goal that you want to create this year, what that feels like, what thoughts you imagine, and understanding that we need to make a conscious choice. We’re not going to keep indulging in doubt. We’re going to focus on believing that we’re going to create these results before we actually do it. That’s how we create the results.

I had that conversation with a client just this week, I just asked her, I’m like, “Have you just decided to just be done with the doubt and not indulge in it anymore? Because you can do that. What if you just decided today, you’re not going to indulge in doubt anymore?” So here’s really even the coolest thing. The more you nurture your thoughts and act on them, you will start seeing success.

You’ll start getting results that move to towards that big hairy audacious goal you really want. And then new thoughts will start to emerge. So you won’t be nurturing the same thoughts all year long. So as your engagement increases, as the consults start hitting the calendar, as you sign more clients, as you see the numbers go up in your bank account, when you go to journal every day, some new thoughts are going to come up and then you’ll have new thoughts to nurture, to care for, and to feed on a regular basis.

Right now, that list of thoughts that we’ve created in today’s episode may not be exactly what the person who earns $100,000 in a year as a life coach thinks because if we already knew exactly what they were, we’d just think them and then have the result. So as you use those thoughts to start seeing results, you’ll get closer to the thinking of the person who actually achieves those results.

We’re so far away from our big hairy audacious goals right now, we may not actually be thinking the thoughts of the person who’s already there. I can’t tell you that the thoughts that you came up with today are going to be the ones you’ll be thinking when those dollars are actually in the bank, but we will get there through nurturing the thoughts that we did create today and by taking the actions that we need to start seeing the results, by sitting in the power of those thoughts and really feeling how those thoughts feel every single day.

I always tell my clients that positive energy begets more positive energy. That’s the whole self-fulfilling prophecy at work. So I want to end on one last thought. I’ve talked about power thoughts in the past, when we were talking about having your own back and knowing what your go-to thoughts are. One big overriding way of thinking that stirs action.

So after today’s podcast, you will have created a list of individual thoughts to get you anything you want as defined by whatever is in your results line. Yes, awesome. But crap thoughts do still pop up. And I’ve created a power go-to thought that I personally use to remind myself of why I’m doing this work towards my big hairy audacious goal.

So I want to offer this thought to you. Go ahead and write this down if this works for you. So here’s how it goes. “It is possible for me to,” insert your big hairy audacious goal, “and I am willing to stay committed and fail as many times as it takes to get there no matter what.”

So using today’s example, I would word that as, “It is possible for me to make $100,000 by December 31st and I’m willing to stay committed and fail as many times as it takes to get there no matter what.” So if the first part of today’s exercise didn’t put a little tingle in your toes, I hope that one does.

Every time I’ve shared that with a client, typically there’s squeals or little screams. Lots of emotions come up because you’re like, yes, it’s totally possible I can do this, I’m willing to stay committed, I’m willing to fail as many times as it takes to get there, I am committed no matter what.

So all the other thoughts from today are your own, but that one, that one is coach Amy’s thought that I’m giving you to pull out when you can’t pull yourself up. When you face-plant, when things aren’t working, there’s a great back pocket thought for you to have. How do you get anything that you want? Learn this model. Learn to work it frontwards, learn to work it backwards. Find the thinking you need to create the emotions you need to drive the actions we all know will help you get your big hair audacious goal.

And when all else fails, you have that power thought that I use myself to pull yourself up when you get knocked down. So again, to recap, you are your own genie. Here’s how you create your magic lamp. Put whatever you want in the R line. Your big hairy audacious goal for the year. Imagine in your mind having achieved it. Really visualize yourself there and channel the emotions that you feel.

From that place, you’re breathing in, you’re breathing deep into what that looks like in your mind and what that feels like in your body, and from that emotion space, what are you thinking in that moment? Come up with at least four to five individual thoughts from the person who’s already achieved what’s in your R line.

From there, work a model on each of those thoughts. What does that thought make you feel? What does that feeling make you do? Now you have a list of actions that you can do to get the result that you want. So spend time each day nurturing those thoughts. Either one thought a day where you think that thought, you think about what it feels like in your body, you sit in the energy of that feeling, or you spend daily time with one thought for a week. It’s totally up to you.

But nurturing those thoughts and the feelings that those thoughts create every single day, and then as you start getting results towards your big hairy audacious goals, you’re going to start discovering some new thoughts. Some new thoughts that you can nurture. And you have your power – your go-to thought for this big hairy audacious goal.

“It is possible for me to achieve this goal and I’m willing to stay committed and fail as many times as it takes to get there no matter what.” So even better, I think it’d be really fun if we make a splash on social media this week. I would love for you to post your big hairy audacious goal power thought on social media and tag @iamamylatta and #confidentcoaches so that I can see it, so that I can share it. I cannot wait to see what you share. Alright my friends, have fun with this today and until next week.

Hey friends, to celebrate the launch of this show, I am giving away some serious fabulousness. Four lucky listeners will win a $50 gift card to Amazon, while one lucky listener will win a free Apple watch. No joke. A series four 40-millimeter gold stainless steel with Milanese loop. Just like the one I wear. I love it.

And those are some seriously awesome goods to five lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple Podcasts. Of course, I hope you love the show, but it does not have to be a five-star review. Because I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides tons of value.

So go visit www.amylatta.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode. Thanks friends.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at www.amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.