Ep #47: When Coaches Have Opinions

You are listening to episode 47 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where we talk about the opinionated elephant and donkey in the room.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello my confident coaches. How’s everybody doing out there? Okay, so listen, I’m going to start this one off just we’re going to dive right into this episode. There’s not going to be a lot of fluff and circumstance today.

First of all, I’ve been tending to a sick kiddo. I just want to get this topic out to you because I think it’s so super important. And it just didn’t feel right to chitty chat and be warm and fuzzy. I just want to dive in because this episode right here is for anyone who has ever had an opinion about anything ever and who also runs a coaching business.

So if that’s you, you’re in the right place, and I want to offer you to go listen to this all the way through because even when you’re starting to think I’m not 100% sure, it comes full circle. So if you’ve ever had an opinion about anything and you have your own business, this is the podcast for you today.

Because if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we do not live in a bubble. We are not coach entrepreneurs operating in a vacuum. There is a whole world out there and it is an imperfect world, and at times it’s a volatile world. And particularly this year and our lord, the 2020, I mean, isn’t 2020 going to be that year we’re going to be talking about for literally decades?

This is one for the history books, right? It has pulled back the curtains that there’s ever anything certain or known in this world ever, right? So if you’re listening to this in the future, you’re like, you don’t even know what’s coming, people. I keep imagining that every time we put out a podcast about something specific to this year, 2020, somebody in 2022 or 23 is listening to it going you don’t even know what’s coming.

So here’s the thing; there’s a lot of stuff out there in the world, and some people are able to shut themselves off from what’s happening out there and just focus on them and their families and their business. Some are not. Some are very outspoken in the world’s business and happenings. Some are silent. Some care, some don’t.

But no matter what, every single one of us has opinions about things and this is what happens. So many times – I mean, it comes up time and again, and not just in coaching communities but in business communities in general is can I speak up? Should I speak up? And that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Should you share hot button topics on your personal social media pages? Should you share hot button topics on your business pages? Should you use your business for a platform for non-coaching topics, right? Should you as a coach and entrepreneur and your business’s owner, share what you think about what’s going on in the world or just your opinions in general out into the public?

Can you talk about politics or religion or hot button topics like race, Black Lives Matter, immigration, the wall, masks, the coronavirus? Can you speak up? Should you speak up?

I like to think of this. Are you adamantly against President Trump or would you rather stick a fork in your eye than vote for a democrat? Are you pro-life or will you fight tooth and nail for a woman’s right to choose? Are you angry about what’s happening at the US southern border and detention centers and camps around the world? Or do you plan on flying south with a bottle of champagne to christen that border wall when it’s done?

Are you angry about the treatment of Black people in America? Are you any about the treatment of police? Now, by the end of this episode, you may not be sure about the state of the world, but you will be sure how you, a life coach and a business owner, are going to respond to it.

I mean, this is really about how you are talking about your personal opinions in general as a public person. Right out of the gate, understand this. This is a bipartisan issue. Like, this affects you no matter your political or your religious stance because there really is no way that we can expect 320 million Americans to agree on either left or right issues.

It’s ridiculous to assume that because you’re a life coach, you automatically have all the same views as your fellow life coaches, right? There are conservative republican life coaches, there are liberal democrat life coaches, there are Christian life coaches, there are atheist life coaches.

And contrary to what all of the political talking heads might say, we really like to paint people as far one side or far the other, where like, 99% of us live in the in between. Not all democrats think the same. Not all republicans think the same. Not all women think the same. Not all men think the same. Not all business owners think the same. Not all life coaches think the same.

I know, it’s shocking to hear that any one group of people are not automatically carbon copies are others, but stay with me here, right? Because you are a human in this world with a brain and with thoughts about the circumstances in our world.

I certainly don’t want to be leaving out my foreign listeners, by the way. I do know that I have listeners all around the world. You yourself have your own political and religious climate mixed in with owning your coaching business. And I’ve seen this brought up in community coaches and had clients ask me, there’s a lot going on, how do I know what I should or should not do?

And whether you’ve considered it or not, as a life coach who owns your own coaching business, you are a public person. You are the face of your business. You’re not some corporate conglomerate like GM or Viacom and people wouldn’t have a clue who you are, even if you own all of that, right?

Like me, I’m Amy Latta. I own Amy Latta Coaching. I am the confidence coach for coaches and I run the Confident Coaches Mastermind. I am a public person. I am my business. And likely, so are you. So how do we as confident coaches want to show up in a world where politics and race and environment and economics are always at play?

These things that do affect your life personally, right? So let these points that I’m going to share with you right now help you decide how you want to show up in this world, where you have these hot topic items affecting your life personally in some way to varying degrees and how you want to share them publicly, either through your personal page or through your business page. And share with confidence.

This is a confidence topic 100%. So number one, my friends, what are you going to do? Guess what, there’s no right or wrong. There are no rules. This is the most important thing to remember for any question you’re ever asking about anything. If you walk away with anything from this episode, it’s this right here. There are no rules.

Now, some people may disagree with me. They will say that in business, there are rules, and business must follow a certain kind of rules. Now to be clear, there are laws. You have to pay your taxes. You can’t discriminate on the basis of sex or religion or race. And depending on your business’s size, there might be a variety of employment laws that you have to follow.

I now am an employee of my own business and I’ve been getting all of this mail for like – have you ever been inside a work room and you see all those employment laws that are supposed to be posted. I keep getting mail saying you need to order your poster for your business. I’m like, I’m pretty sure my employee’s okay because that’s me.

There are laws you have to follow, and I’m not suggesting anarchy. I’m just suggesting that there are laws, which citizens of the world must follow. And then there are rules. And the rules, the rules are made up, my friends. I know, I teach this concept in Confident Coaches Mastermind about there are no rules and there is no judgment.

And when you get that and when you understand that and you really program your brain to understand and believe that there are no rules and there is no judgment, then what will you do? Then what will you create? Then what will you share?

When I first started coaching, I had this mentor who told me that I needed to stop cussing. Like saying fuck and owning a business don’t mix. Well, I do both. I do both quite well, thank you very much. I’ve just made $400,000 in the past 12 months in my coaching business and I swear like a sailor on my personal pages, in my business.

Cussing and business don’t mix was her rule and it absolutely worked for her. It can totally have that rule. But I don’t have to. Remember, rules are just thoughts. Thoughts in someone else’s mind, and it’s up to you whether you want to adopt those same thoughts. You totally can if you want to. You totally don’t have to if you don’t want to.

So this past week, I know that this is coming out next week, but Ruth Bader Ginsburg just died. I’m just recording this, this has just happened. And she was a personal mentor and an icon for me. I considered her on my imaginary board of directors. She was like, chairman of my board. Huge mad respect for this woman through all facets of her life.

I was heartbroken when she died, and you bet I spoke up. I spoke up on my personal page, I spoke up on my business posts, I sent out an email. Because I don’t have a rule that politics and business don’t mix. I don’t have that rule. Some people do. Some people have chosen not to mix politics or religion with their business. They have made that a rule for themselves.

Just like some might have made it a rule never to cuss in their business. That might be a rule for themselves. Here’s the fun thing about rules. You get to decide if you want to have some and what they are. Rules aren’t bad. I might choose to have a rule for me that I will not give up on my goal, even when I’m unsure and confused and not getting the result that I want.

Rules are just thoughts, and thoughts are not good or bad, and rules are not good or bad. There are thoughts that create the result that I want, that serve me, and there are thoughts that don’t create the result that I want, that don’t serve me.

So there are rules that will serve you and there are rules that won’t serve you. So you get to decide what your rules are, if any. So if there are no rules on talking about politics or religion or any other hot button topic or general opinion, what do you decide? What do you want to share on your personal pages? What do you want to share on your business pages?

It’s totally your choice. I have absolutely decided I have a general outline. You follow me on Twitter, it’s almost all politics. There’s very little business there. My personal page is a good mix. My business, I don’t put a ton of politics or religion in there, but if you’re paying attention, you probably know, probably are picking up what I’m throwing down.

I have made decisions about what I will share where and how much I’m willing to share. I’ve absolutely made those decisions based on my choice, not on some made up set of rules that don’t even exist. So once you decide, now you’re going to have to deal with the next thing, and that is, oh no, what are other people going to think?

What are others going to think about what you have to say? Of course, people will have opinions about what you’re saying because again, no two people are exactly alike. There are going to be some people who are totally pissed that you’re coming out as pro-choice or pro-life. Doesn’t really matter which one.

There are some who will unfollow you when you declare your love for all things Trump, and there are some who will turn up their nose when you post that cute little Biden Harris circle filter around your profile pic. That’s a given, right? So now what? What are you going to do with that?

Because there are some coaches who purposely choose to keep politics and religion out of their business because of this, and that’s okay. They don’t want to turn off any prospective clients, at least not based on politics or religion.

So for instance, let’s say you coach corporate women who overdrink and you just want to serve all of them. And you are going to talk openly and honestly about being a corporate woman, about overdrinking, this is who you are, and you won’t choose to post politically or any other hot button topic because you don’t want that to be a reason that a woman may not come to you who is in need and needs some help.

I totally get that. And it’s a stance that many people take. It’s kind of like a rule that you may choose to adopt. Others on the other hand are like, I absolutely want to share what I believe. I coach corporate women who overdrink and here’s everything I think about what’s going on with the world, it’s too important to me not to do that, I absolutely want to share what I believe because I am not just a coach and business owner, but I’m a citizen of this country and I want to share.

And by sharing my political or religious beliefs, which aren’t necessarily part of that coaching, I’m going to draw like-minded people even more closer. I will bring even more people in because they will find something else to connect with me with. I want people to know what I stand for. Those people who are uncomfortable with that, they can still make their own choice.

Either they will choose to find someone else to help them because I’m not the only person in this world who’s sharing the amazing gift of coaching, or they can choose to stay with me despite our differences. Some people will side with the be as authentically you as possible all the time, be you, out loud, confidently.

Even if you do keep religion and politics out of your coaching, when you walk into a room, there will be people who don’t like your name, your hair, your outfit. There will be people who love your name, your hair, your outfit. Keeping politics out of your coaching doesn’t guarantee that everyone’s going to like you. There’s nothing you can ever do that will guarantee people like us. That’s not even a thing that’s possible.

And really, what we’re worried about is people judging us. But here is the truth, people can’t judge us because judgment is a feeling. And feelings come from our thoughts. Not other people’s thoughts. Not even what other people say.

More often than not, we are afraid of what other people think about us and we have no idea what other people think about us. So the judgment we feel is all coming from – the call is coming from inside the house, not out there. It’s coming from our thoughts about us, not their thoughts about us.

We have no idea what they’re thinking. Nine times out of 10, we’re just worried about something that isn’t even happening. Most people aren’t actually thinking about you that much. Sorry friends, people aren’t paying that close of attention to you. They’re really not.

And even if they are, even if they do see your opinions and you standing up for what you believe and saying what you want to say, we still don’t know. Like, maybe they’ll read it or not, maybe they will think something or not. They usually don’t say anything. We still don’t know what they’re thinking.

We’re guessing, we’re wondering, we’re hypothesizing. This is a terrible use of your energy, by the way, to guess maybe what other people might be thinking about you. This is not where you want to be spending your energy. It’s not a useful way to spend your time to be guessing what other people might be saying.

And that’s nine times out of 10 what’s happening. Now, there is that one time out of 10 where they will say something, and then you still get to decide what you want to think about what they say. Remember, what other people say or do is a circumstance. You get to decide what you think about it. It’s not what they say or do that makes you feel judged. It’s what you think about what they say or do that makes you feel judged.

There is no judgment unless it’s coming from your own thoughts and you get to decide your thoughts. So there are no rules, and making people like you isn’t even a thing, and there is no judgment, except from coming inside your own house.

So now what? And that’s where we get to this last step, which is what do you want to do? Coach, you, listening right now, you get to decide about the opinions you have and which ones you’re going to share with the world. Maybe you want to be a coach where everyone knows exactly what you stand. It’s clear as a bell.

You stand loud and proud. Maybe you only share on your personal page, but people can find it. Maybe you use your business as a platform for sharing those non-coach things you believe in. You can totally do that too. If you have built a platform through your business, there’s no reason why you can’t use that to share what you want to share if that’s what you choose.

Your opinions are part of being authentically you and drawing your people in because you are repelling those people who aren’t your people. The more you repel people, the more you attract your people. So sharing your opinions with the world is a great way to do that even more, even if they are outside of your coaching.

So make that decision and then coach yourself or get coached on those thoughts that will come up about what other people think and your worries of being judged. Or maybe you decide to keep politics and religion and any other hot button topic entirely out of your business. You’re not going to share it on your personal page, you’re not going to share it on your business page.

You’re going to let your business philosophy and coaching style and your personality alone set you apart from others. That’s a choice too. You can make that decision and then, then coach yourself on any thoughts about you that come up when you do have opinions in areas that you do feel super passionate about and you choose not to share, or any thoughts that you have that come up when people challenge you on why you’re not speaking up and not saying something.

I mean, when it comes down to it, either way, you’re going to have to coach yourself. So there’s no easy answer here. You’re going to have to coach yourself either way, so just make a choice and go coach yourself on the choice that you make.

Because if there is no judgment and there are no rules, what will you choose? Now two side notes before you decide, here’s two kind of off shoot points I want to make sure we make. Number one is I’ve seen the argument of I don’t want to not work with people because we disagree, to which I say who says you have to?

By deciding you will share politics or religion or any other hot button topic, that doesn’t mean you have chosen to not work with people who disagree with you. I mean, maybe you do, I don’t know, but that’s not an automatic assumption.

I am very vocal in my politics. I mean, it’s not hard to find where I stand, people. I don’t hide it. And I have plenty of clients who don’t agree with me. I don’t make agreeing with me politically a requirement to working with me in a coach-client relationship. And I find the assumption that because I am so vocal, I would automatically tell someone, sorry, you’re on your own because you don’t agree with me, I find that a little judgmental, which really just means I have thoughts and feelings about people saying that, right?

Now, because I am so vocal, I have no doubt that there are probably people who choose not to work with me because of that, because I have decided to put politics and social and politics topics into my personal life and a little bit into my business. I have no doubt that there are people who are like, I can’t work with Amy. And that’s okay too.

I am okay with that. That is their choice. I’ve decided to make that part of what sets me apart from other coaches in the world because this is authentically me. Because those hot button topics are important to me. We discuss these things at family dinners and we listen to shows and we watch documentaries.

This is part of who I am and part of being the confidence coach for coaches is sharing every part of me with you and the world and I understand right there that that means some people won’t want to work with me. And that’s okay. Maybe these things are important for you, maybe they aren’t.

And that leads me to my second kind of extra point here, and that is just think about everything, every opinion that you have that you share on your personal page and your business page. Even if it’s not a hot topic. There are already people on board that you are turning off by sharing those opinions.

So I’m not talking about politics and religion and immigration, or any of those kind of hot button kind of – the talking head kind of stuff. I’m not talking about any of that stuff. I’m just talking about general opinions about life in general, you’re already turning people off.

Maybe people hate Schitt’s Creek and you can’t stop posting David memes. If you watch Schitt’s Creek, you know exactly what I’m talking about, right? Maybe you have an audience that they really don’t like dogs and yet, your personal Facebook page has a ton of posts about that dog rescue that you volunteer for.

Maybe you love cooking and some people are totally turned off by all of these recipes. There are so many things that we share out in public that is already separating us from potential clients. But we make the hot button topics have so much more weight when anything we share in public no our personal page, any of those things may turn people off of you.

Why choose to put more weight on those hot button topics when any opinion you share, hot button or not, has the potential to turn off potential clients? So do you never want to share an opinion about anything? You certainly can. I just ask that you make sure you like your reasons, and ultimately, that’s where we are.

That’s what we come to. My personal opinion plus five dollars will get you a nice coffee at Starbucks and here it is. I want to live in a world where we are all authentically ourselves. Vulnerable, confident, sharing openly, and that we would all speak out about injustices that we see in the world and that we are all compelled to use our voices to help others who do not have a voice of their own.

And who we are in life is who we are in business, and what you see is what you get and there is no wondering ever. And that is my opinion. Those are my rules for me and my thoughts and they serve me well. What will serve you well? It may not look exactly like me.

If there are no rules and there is no judgment, what do you decide about sharing opinions of any kind? Hot button topics or the banal. Another favorite question when deciding something, if your emotional and financial safety are guaranteed, what do you decide?

And then decide to show up how you want to show up and like your reasons for doing so. Your fellow coach friends may decide something different, and that’s okay. You just get to love them and be you and love you. Alright my confident coaches, I love you so damn much. Remember, until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.

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Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.