Ep #156: Using Matrix Energy When You Have No Clients

You are listening to episode 156 of the Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you time travel back to the nineties with me and channel your inner Neo. Let’s go!

Welcome to the Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m. Amy Latta, let’s dive in.

Hello, my coaches, how are you? I’m so excited to talk to you today. I’m bringing a topic to you that I literally have three clients who have raised their hands and asked for coaching on this very thing. Actually four, but one of them just solved this problem, so I would even still say four because she hasn’t solved it the way that I’m going to talk about it in this episode, and what I’m talking about is, when you’ve done all the things and you do believe that those clients are coming, and you’ve taken all the coaching I’ve given you, and you’ve physically done everything, and you have had clients before, but right now you haven’t had any for a while.

One of my clients, she hadn’t signed anybody since, oh, shoot, February, or March. Another one, it’s been two months. So, you know, it’s been a couple of weeks, a couple of months, and no clients have come, and you’ve done all the stuff that I’ve told you to go do, and clients aren’t coming, and something happens, and this is what we’re going to talk about today. And I know this is the needed topic.

And here’s the thing I am talking about: I have coached each of these people. We looked at all of their Models, they have answered all of the questions they are posting all of the time. And like even my brain, it’s initial reaction is, “well, fuck, I don’t know,” and that’s when I remember that we need to shift into the next gear … we need to shift into that gear that we so rarely access, but we’re all of the magic lies.

At first, I was calling this the sixth gear, and then I changed the name of it, and there’s a whole story … we’re going to talk about a movie. But this is what I’m talking about: when you aren’t signing clients, but you’ve done the question of: where are you on the scale of 1 to 10? You know where your doubt is. You’ve been coached on that, and you actually do believe more than you doubt like. You keep coming back to the same doubt, and you’ve gotten coached on those thoughts. It’s like last week’s episode about sticky thoughts.

These are the things I keep coming back to. I’ve gotten coaching on them even, I don’t even believe them all the time, but they are still there. Maybe they’re still the problem. So, like you’ve done the scale of 1 to 10, you know where your doubt is. You’ve added possibility, you’re in the process of unbelieving. You know what problems you solve for your clients in the Free to Paid Coach level. We use your transformation in your story to answer the questions. What problems do you solve for your clients? At the mastermind level, we use something called PSPR to solve for your client’s problems.

I talk a lot about being a voyeur in their life, being able to, you know, what’s their Tuesday at 1:00 PM or their Friday at 7:00 PM problem? Where are they in certain spots in their week? You’ve done that. You’ve considered their thoughts and feelings that have them not signing up for consults. This is another tool that I use.

What’s their Model, where the Action line is not signing up? What are the thoughts and the feelings that they’re having, and addressing those things in your copy, and you’ve done that. You’ve written the post about; “I know you might be afraid. I know you may think you can’t do this. I know you’ve tried this before and this didn’t work.”

This is how this is different. You’ve addressed those things already. You are posting every day. You are making offers every day or per your posting plan, and there’s an invite to work with you in every post you’ve looked at your post, you’ve had other people looked at them. You’re like, “do you see what the problem is?” And they’re like, “I don’t see what the problem is.”

You’ve answered the question, where am I still filtering? And you’ve removed those filters that you found. Now, legitimately, there might still be some more. I want to offer to you that there’s always more levels of filters that you can let go, but you’ve let go of the ones.

We’re going down the list of the things that I would coach you on in a coaching. You know, where’s your doubt, and we coach you on that. What are their problems that you solve? You’re super clear on that. You’ve addressed their objections for not signing up. You’re making offers all of the time. You’re looking for where you’re still filtering and you’re letting that go and you know you aren’t quitting.

Like, we’ve already taken that option off the table, you don’t indulge in that. And yet nobody’s signing up for consults. People aren’t signing up to work with you.

So, we just went down a real short checklist of all the things that I would coach you on in a coaching call. So, if you haven’t done each of those things above, you do want to start there.

And I’ve done individual episodes on all of those things before but be really clear if some of you have only answered one or two of those things and you’re throwing your hands up in the air, “but nobody’s signing up!” Those are the things you need to go get coached on, and we do this coaching in Free to Paid Coach.

If you are already scaling to 100k, that’s the coaching that I can do for you in Path to 100k Mastermind. This is the coaching that we do, so you should be in that program. You should be in Free to Paid Coach already and make sure that you are getting coaching on those things. So, if you aren’t signing clients, let’s start with what I’m going to coach you on in Free to Paid Coach or Path to 100k … where’s your doubt; getting coached on those thoughts; knowing what your sticky thoughts are; the process of unbelieving them; knowing what problems you solved; addressing their objections to signing up.

You’re making offers all of the time, and it’s very clear to work with you, it’s so obvious and so clear. You are looking for all the ways that you are filtering. We’ve already done that work. Okay, now what?

Now what do you do? This is where it gets sticky. This is where we really have to dig deep and go to another level.

I’ve been using a couple of euphemisms. I’ve been using, finding the next gear, going to a new level.

So, here’s what I find with clients in this space. What often happens is swinging between two pendulum and energies, like “I believe so hard, and I am so sure that they’re coming, and I want it so bad. And I know they’re coming and, and I know that it’s happening, and I believe so hard,” and it’s a little over eager.

Or … “no, I believe that it’s happening. I’m not going anywhere. I know that it’s happening right now. I’m in no hurry and nothing’s gone wrong,” and there’s a little bit of complacency, so we can swing back and forth between this kind of complacent energy where, you don’t want to be the overeager beaver, and you don’t want to be in the hyperactive chihuahua energy.

So, you’re going to go into like, “nothing’s gone wrong and it’s going to take as long as it’s going to take, and I’m not quitting.” And we can get a little complacent and a little too, “it’s okay that it’s not happening.” You don’t want to be thinking, “it’s a problem. It’s not happening. So, it’s okay.” But you can hang out there for literally years and I’ve already coached you on that, most likely at this point.

So, then you swing to the other extreme of like believing so hard, believing so hard, and know they’re coming and I’m really excited and it can get really over eager. It’s a little bit of a chihuahua energy. Everybody I have a chihuahua. I’m very familiar with Chihuahua energy, Lou Bear Boo Bear, who makes frequent appearances on coaching calls and even on podcasts sometimes with his overeager Chihuahua energy barking.

I can also find clients in this space. So, if it doesn’t look like the swinging pendulum between overeager … complacent … overeager … complacent … overeager … complacent, sometimes it also manifests in what I call hula hooping.

And we’ve done podcast episodes on that before, and this is where you’re just kind of bouncing from one sticky thought to another, talking yourself out of the one, and then just bouncing to the next one. Like, “I’m too far behind … no, I’m actually right where I’m supposed to be, well then maybe I must be missing something. No, no. I’m not missing anything. I know I’ve got everything inside of me. Okay, well then why aren’t people signing up?

… Okay. Well, but I do know I can help them. Okay. But if I do know that I can help them, why is it’s taking so long and we just kind of bounce like in a hula hoop to these greatest hits of shitty thoughts that you’ve already been coached on before, right? And it’s that’s just spinning in your head.

First of all, if you were spinning round and round and round and bouncing from one negative thought that you talk yourself out of, but as soon as you talk yourself out of, you bounce into another one and you bounce about, you talk yourself outta that one and you bounce into another one and you’re just spinning, you are in your head.

And listen, any time you are spinning in your head, I guarantee you, you are not serving your audience at the level that they are needing from you, because you are too wrapped up in your head that you can’t possibly be in their head. And so many of my clients will come to me, “I thought about what their objections are and blah, blah.”

I’m like, “yeah, but right now you are all wrapped up in your own shit and you’re not even thinking about them because you’re too hula hooped obsessed with why this isn’t happening. So, I know for sure you have taken your fingers off the pulse of your client to obsess about why it’s not happening for you. As soon as you do that, your message gets garbled. It gets messy. That doesn’t have to be a problem, but if you stay there, it becomes a problem.

Let’s be really, really clear before I dive into the solution to this. What I what you to do is understand that of course you will do this whole hula hooping pendulum swinging because clients aren’t signing. Totally normal. It’s absolutely going to happen. It’s like sticky thoughts in and of themselves, and it’s not a problem when you find yourself hula hooping around those thoughts.

When you find your pendulum swinging from one overeager to over complacent and back and forth and back, and forth, that is not in and of itself a problem.

The fact that you sometimes take your finger off the pulse of your client and obsess about yourself isn’t a problem. We all do it. Congratulations, You’re a human being. You’re completely normal. I’m not worried at all that that sometimes happens. When it becomes a problem is when you stay.

It’s like with any of this work, these things are only a problem when you stay there and you can’t get out of it, and you stay there. And what frequently happens is, it’s a snowball effect, a further and further and further away from your belief.

Even though that checklist I gave you at the top of the episode, you’re still checking those boxes. But you’re getting yourself further away from the pulse of your actual client.

And it’s all just on paper and it’s just in theory. So, know that what’s going on here is not a problem. It’s the staying here that is. So, let’s pull you out of it. So, first of all, let’s stop. Let’s stop spinning.

Take a breath, everybody.

Whether this is you exactly right now or you’re in another place, I want everybody right now to just take a breath … take a breath. Be here with me and yourself in this. Even if you just did that right there every day throughout the day, it would help if you shut this episode off and just took a fucking breath. Even if you just did that, it would change so much.

Everything’s going to be okay. Nothing has gone wrong. Like literally, every coach will go through this. Every single coach.

“Well, I’m literally doing everything my coach says that I should. And why isn’t anybody signing up?!” That you are here is not a sign that I have anything going wrong.

There is something off and we’re about to find it, but this place is not a problem. Take a breath. I invite you to take more breaths throughout the day.

And now let’s put that hula hoop down. As you see yourself bounce from one thought that you’ve been coached on, to another, to another, to another, to another, just to say, Okay, stop.

Literally say out loud, “stop it, stop it. I don’t have to do this anymore. Put down the hula hoop.” Notice when you’re spinning between all your sticky thoughts, and of course you’re spinning between sticky thoughts. Really see that when you’re doing everything you know you need to do and it’s not creating the results, we are socialized to believe something is wrong and I have to solve it now or it’s never going to work.

It’s literally, like the plot of any movie. It’s literally how we were told all the time, this is wrong. Go figure it out and solve it right now. Don’t wait. Don’t wait for it to get worse. Go solve it, right? And that might be backfiring on us just a little bit because we have decided that this is a problem and that right there, I have to solve this now or it’s never going to work.

That’s the overall hula hoop. The bouncing between the sticky thoughts is just a symptom of the larger thought of, I have to solve this now, or it’s never going to work, and that simply doesn’t help you. It shuts you down. I have to solve this now or it’s never going to work. Might be how we were socialized, but we have to put that hoop down.

I know that you may have bills to pay. I know that you may have savings that are dwindling, but adding, “we have to solve this right now or else” energy does not solve that problem. That does not make that any easier if you get into a financial tight spot. There are always other options. Always. I coach on that extensively in Free to Paid Coach.

This is a money mindset issue. There’s actually a module on this, and in fact I just had a client this week totally separate from the other people who are like, “I’m doing everything you tell me to, and nothing’s working,” she’s, on an entirely different plane where she was just working on her money mindset work inside the program, and she created more money coming into her bank account because of that one simple tool that I gave her.

You always have what you need. And if that’s what you need coaching on, then come in to Free to Paid Coach then let me coach you on that part.

“I have to solve this now or it’s never going to work.” That hula hoop never pans out positively for you. So put that down so we can take a breath. We put the hula hoop down and I want you to find out that there’s an entire world between your fear of being too complacent and being too over eager.

I have coached people to reach this place. I know this place, but I’ve never given it a name until today. We normally try to find it by what you want to feel, but I actually want to enter this conversation, have this conversation by entering it through a completely different doorway. I’ve talked about it as being your place of knowing.

It’s no longer waiting for them out there to validate you in here. It’s you truly in your bones, you do not need someone to sign up today for you to believe that you are signing someone tomorrow. You don’t need that interaction today to believe that it could happen at any moment.

Your two weeks or your two months, or your six months, or however long it’s been since you last signed a client has no bearing on your belief of what is coming right now.

It’s knowing so deep in your gut.

Because if you knew, you wouldn’t be spinning in the hula hoop, you wouldn’t pick up that hula hoop, you wouldn’t be indulging in that spinning. You would pick it up and be like, “oh yeah, that’s right. I don’t do that anymore because I know.”

Something that I have used for literally years that has helped me, I am now sharing with you, and I call it The Matrix, and I’m not making that up. I’m being very serious. I am channeling the late nineties to you. Right now. I am completely dating myself. I’m referring to the movie. That’s right. I am using a late nineties Keanu Reeves movie as a coaching tool.

We’re doing it right here, my friends. The Matrix. I’m always telling my kids, like when that movie came out, we simply had not seen half of those movie effects ever before. Now, today, like 25 years later, they’re just like, ho hum, special effects, whatever. We see that all the time, but back then it was all completely brand new.

So, the gist of the movie is Keanu Reeves plays Thomas Anderson. It’s kind of average computer guy in this humdrum world, only to find out that the world is all crafted by the Matrix. And then actually outside of this humdrum world, outside of the simulator, outside of the fake world that we’re all operating in, he’s actually Neo.

And in that world, that’s where he learns that this is all made up. Like all the rules and all your worries about judgment, everything that we’re supposed to do and not supposed to do, it’s all made up. None of it is real.

And he has all of the knowledge of the universe inside him right now. Sound familiar? I wasn’t even a coach when this movie came out, but now I know why I was so obsessed with it … it was really cool looking, and it has really great music, but also, I was obsessed with this idea that like, it’s all made up.

None of this is real. We get to decide what we’re going to make of it.

So, he is learning this, but in his day to day he’s this kind of ho hum Mr. Anderson. And later in the movie there’s this realization that it is true. Like the entire plot of the movie is him kind of moving back and forth and thinking “is this really true?” And he wants to believe it, but he can’t believe it.

And he keeps getting the shit kicked out of him by the bad guy and back and forth and back and forth. Where eventually he gets to this place where he really does grasp, and he really does understand that he is “the one” and he has all of this knowledge. That this all around me is all made up and I can create whatever I want because of that. I have no bounds. I am not constrained in any way. I can create literally anything simply because I believe it to be true.

Yeah, I got all that from the movie.

So technically he does die. There’s this scene where he technically dies in the movie, like it literally requires him to devolve all the way down. But it’s in that, the realization that he is the one is there, and he wakes up and he’s suddenly fighting the bad guys with ease.

He literally holds up his hand and says, “no.” and they shoot like nine bullets at him. He’s like, “no, not going to deal with that. No. Nope, not doing it.” He’s fighting them with one hand. It’s seamless and it’s easy. He realizes that he is so powerful and everything else out there is so insignificant. He doesn’t have time for this annoyance.

That has literally chased him the entire time throughout the movie. He knows it’s all come together. He’s calm, but it’s not complacency, it’s knowing, but without chihuahua energy or over eagerness, it’s deep gut in your gut knowing it’s opening this doorway in your mind that you’ve ignored because you’ve been waiting for another client to come along to prove to you that you know what you’re doing. You do know what you’re doing.

So, I got like real meta and real, like surreal there and brought in like Hollywood into the conversation. But how do you actually access The Matrix? Like all that sounds amazing, but how do you access it? And this is when I sat down, and I was like, okay, how do I access that?

Because I do it so instinctually now. I literally just visualize Neo in my brain. I’m not joking. Anytime I start to get like, “I don’t know how to do this, I literally visualize that scene.” I will actually put a link to that scene in the show notes so that you can see it.

When he stops, he holds up his hand, he says “no,” and he starts fighting everything with ease. He sees like The Matrix all around him and he’s just in it. I literally just think about that, and I can go and access my own Matrix. So, I had to sit down, and I had to think about how did I do it the first time?

I’m going to be completely honest with you. I don’t 100% remember, but this is how I would coach you to do it now, because this is some of the work that we are already doing inside the programs, and it’s some of the work that I am doing for myself. Okay, so how do you access The Matrix without just like dressing up like Keanu Reeves and being like, “I’m a badass?”

You really just have to visualize what you are creating. I really want you to use the power of your brain. It’s so magical. It will believe anything that you tell it, so tell it what you want. You can use your brain’s power and magic against you, or for you, use it for. See yourself writing down the answers to your clients’ problems.

See the clients in their life struggling and how you would coach them. See posts going out into the ether, out into the internet. See appointments filling up on your calendar. See yourself coaching them. See them in their lives, changing for the better because they work with you. See yourself in your office as the powerful coach that you want to be solving those problems, what does it look like in your mind’s eye?

Visualize all of it. Visualize you in that certainty place. See yourself as that completely sure person. Like even as I said that I just sat up a little bit. My abs moved in my back; My shoulders fell back. Even me just saying that I went there. See yourself as that completely sure person. Feel that version of you deep in your gut.

See yourself as the person you are becoming because it’s already exists. You are already in The Matrix, and then you have to completely let go of your timeline. Remember, it’s all made up The Matrix is just a simulation. This isn’t real. To believe 100% that they are coming now, they are there now, they’re coming now, and also, if they do not respond the way that you want right now, doesn’t mean that it’s not happening.

Believe that it is happening now and it’s not on your timeline. Those timelines that we create — the end of the month, the end of the year or whatever, they are already arbitrary. They are there as check-in points to see where you are, but they aren’t validation of whether or not you can continue to believe that it’s true.

So first you visualize, then you completely let go of your timeline and I know that one is hard, and if it is hard for you, please be in Free to Paid Coach to get coaching on that because it is possible to completely let go of your timeline without letting go of your goal and your dream and your belief that it’s happening now, and then completely letting go of looking for validation outside of you.

You do not need anything from them. Your relationship with your audience will change when you stop needing them to respond to you a certain way.

(Dog barks)

See, I told you the over a year old chihuahua was going to chip in.

You don’t need them to engage, to buy, to pay you. You already have everything that you need. And to me, this is tied in that belief that I can do what I’ve never done before and looking at all the examples of how I’ve already done things I’ve never done before in my past, and then visualizing me doing something that I haven’t done before, using the proof of my past of how I’ve already done things I’ve never done before, a hundred times over, and visualizing the future of me doing again with this.

Because when I do that, I don’t need to validate from someone else that I can do that. I’m creating that validation myself. That’s why that visualization is so important.

When I remember of what I’ve already created in my life that never existed before, and then I visualize the next thing that I’m creating. I create the validation myself. I don’t need it from them.

So, visualize, let go of the timeline, let go of the validation. When you can do that, that is The Matrix zone. It’s the epitome of, “I don’t need you because I got me, and then I can serve you at the highest level.”

Fun fact: there are actually many layers to The Matrix zone because with each new level that you get to, you’re going to need to access a new level of Matrix like, you don’t reach the Matrix zone and signing your first $5,000 and then it’s the same thing. You need to scale to path in the path to 100k Mastermind, like the Free to Paid Coach Matrix zone is the base level of the path to a 100k. But it’s okay because you’ve done it before and you’re going to do it again.

Your brain will tell you that it’s different and you’ll need to do those steps again, which is totally fine. Just know our brain is always resetting itself with new baselines.

Each new high that you reach becomes the next level’s low. And yeah, that totally tracks. That’s not a problem. It happens every single time, and it just gets easier to access the Matrix zone each time because you’ve done it before.

You’re remembering all the things that you’ve created before, that you’ve never created, had never created before you did it. You’re visualizing the next thing that you’re creating. You’re completely letting go of your timeline and you’re completely letting of the need of something outside of you to validate you.

So, from there, these are the questions I want you to ask. I want you to wipe the slate clean. Tap into that Matrix zone.

You’re in it. I see it in my mind’s eye. I’m letting go the timeline. I validate myself. Now, answer these questions:

What’s the simplest way?

In the simplest language, what problems do you solve for your clients? (Be able to rattle those off like the back of your hand)

And what do you love about this work and your clients?

Why are they amazing?

Because when you’re just thinking about loving them and serving them, you can’t be hula hooping up in your head, right? And remove any doubt you have that you can deliver because you are committing to staying in the knowing energy with what you are sure of.

You know this is happening. You believe this is happening. This is the simplest way I can say how I solve your problem. And this is why I love working with them, and then what would fun look like? How can you bring fun to giving them all of the usefulness and value as you can to them every day? Giving them all of you ahead of time, making offers as often as possible.

When we’re talking about making direct offers, make sure you’re saying, “click here to talk about buying my thing,” and that your offers are going to your best people. We aren’t convincing them that they need you. You are talking about solving their problems, you’re giving them tons of usefulness ahead of time and they are in.

And I think really just ending on this note of, when you find yourself thinking, “I’m doing everything, and I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong,” really just see at the end of the day that that’s a sign that you’re still looking for validation from them and not you.

And when you stop bouncing from that complacency, “I know it’s going to happen, everything’s good here,” to that overeager …  “I’m ready for it to happen now and it’s going to happen now.”

You can find this Matrix zone of not needing it because The Matrix zone is about not needing it to validate you because it just is, and you validate yourself.

You ready to get your inner Neo on?

Again, I’ll link to the clip in the movie, in the show notes because I do actually at this point just visualize Neo in that scene where he just knows and everything’s super easy. It helps me find mine. It helps me get back into that Matrix zone so much easier. So, look for that clip.

Talk to you next week.

Coach, it’s time to sign your first free client, your first paid client, your next client, and to learn how to do it consistently and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way. This is exactly what you’re going to do in Free to Paid Coach. It’s the only program giving you step-by-step what to do to become a paid coach and step-by-step how to handle the roller coaster emotions that come with doing what you need to do to become a paid coach.

If you know you can’t not do this life coaching thing, but believing that you can do it, handling rejection and remembering how to do all of those things shuts you down, the Free to Paid Coach Community is waiting for you. Find everything that you’re looking for inside. It’s only $1,000. Payments are available, and then you’re in forever.

Visit www.amylatta.com/ftpc to join us right now. See you inside. Let’s get paid, coach.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.