Ep #87: Internal and External Results

You are listening to episode 87 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you reconcile what you want and how you feel. Let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello my confident coach. How are you doing today? I got to tell you, it is good with the Lattas right now. We’re home. We’re home from a big long family vacation, our first one in a very long time. We saw my mom, we saw my sister, we saw my niece, we saw family, it was so good.

It was also so good because it gave me so much space and so much room for thinking. A lot of thinking time for me. Now, this is not necessarily what this podcast is about, but I cannot express to you how good it is to get away, even if it’s just small pockets of every day.

You don’t necessarily have to fly five states away like we did. But how good it is to get away and give yourself space to think, give your brain room to think and to cogitate and to freak out over things and then to problem solve and all the things in between, without deadlines, without due dates, without a purpose to it.

Just space to think about your clients and your business, really tap into that future you and let her talk to you, and scheduling that time on a regular basis. And in fact, at the end of this episode, I’m going to give you a specific activity that I did while I was on vacation that I think will help you so much.

And we just simply don’t allow enough room in our daily life for thinking, and quite frankly, your thinking is what’s going to create all of your results for you. So let’s – this is just a reminder. Again, this is not what this episode is even about. Just a reminder to prioritize thinking in your business.

The actions will follow, but think first. Give your brain space first. Then decide what you’re going to do from there. But this story that I’m going to tell you that happened in this podcast episode is all about how I initially reacted to something that happened versus what came to me when I then left for vacation.

It’s a great illustration of why this is so important. So something that happened right before I went on vacation and then I had 10 days to think about it. Now, that doesn’t mean you need to take 10 days to always think about things, but as long as you’re building in thinking time, you can actually just make that more of a habit.

So the set up here is a consult call that I had for the current enrolment of Confident Coaches Mastermind. So we are currently enrolling for the July class of Confident Coaches or CCM. And what you do is you go to the sales page, you submit an application, and if we are still a good fit based on those preliminary application questions, you then schedule a consult call with me.

Just a short interview call to ensure that you and I are a great fit and that you’re all in and we’re raring to go. So I had a consult call like a day and a half before I went on vacation. And the prospective client said to me at the end, “You know, confidence is great but money is better.”

And my response to her was what I know as a coach, which is, imagine being able to feel that way, you having that money would feel, whether it’s there or not, and that’s what we’re going to do in the confidence coaching program. Can you already see? Little wonkadoo thing I did right there. Can you already see that internal versus external result conflict that she and I were both buying into that moment?

She thinks that confidence and money are in conflict, and my response to her didn’t clear that up in that moment. She’s telling me confidence is great but money is better, and I know as a coach that money will not bring confidence. I know as a coach that the external result of more money does not create the internal result of feeling more confident.

I also know as a coach that everything our clients want is just a feeling. Your client will say to you that they want to lose weight, that they want to stop arguing with their husband, they want to sign more clients. But we as coaches really know that what they really want is the feeling they think they’re going to feel when those things happen.

And our job as coaches to help them create that feeling, whether they have that circumstance in their life or not. Because the feeling will actually help them create that external circumstance. The feeling comes first. To help them have the internal result no matter what their external looks like.

We 100% get that if our clients are looking for external circumstances to create how they feel, they’re always going to be at the mercy of their external circumstances. This is what I was trying to convey to her.

You’re going to be at the mercy of that external circumstance all of the time. Let’s do it the other way around. They’re always going to be chasing the feeling through the external means. Remember, your feelings, how you feel comes from what you think, not what’s happening outside of you.

Your feelings don’t come from what your spouse says or what the scale says or what the bank account says. And all any of us are ever looking for, all we are ever desiring is a feeling. And we also know that life is 50/50. We know that there will be times where we don’t have the money we necessarily want, or the weight that we want to necessarily be at, or a marriage with no conflict.

That’s why we would always be at the mercy of those things if we need them to be a certain way in order to feel a certain way. And our job as life coaches is to help our clients find a way to be okay with themselves no matter what is externally going on in their life.

You know, whether it’s what they said they wanted or something else, to teach them that they can handle whatever comes their way and that love or confidence or happiness is available to them at any time. The power of being able to say, “I don’t need these external things to create an internal experience, which is what I’m really desiring in the first place.”

And in that moment on the consult call, when this prospective client is telling me confidence is nice and money is better, I’m saying yeah, but imagine feeling amazing and the money can be there or not. I unknowingly in that moment made the internal result be at conflict with the external result.

Listen, you can have the money and feel like shit, or you can feel confident and maybe the money will come. And that’s a hard sell my friends, right? It really is. Like think about this if you’re a weight loss coach. Yeah, love your body first, and then the weight loss will follow.

I mean, maybe, but it’s all about loving your body first. When really, sometimes they really do want to lose the weight. And that’s a hard sell, my friends, and we’re also making them wrong. It’s not our job to make them wrong.

Our job is to show them their thinking so that they can create the feelings, the actions, and the results that they want. It’s not one or the other. And when I first started coaching and didn’t know yet about thoughts creating feelings and then the actions and results, when I first started coaching eight years ago, I was a straight up actions and results coach.

I would sell my clients on the external results because even I was thinking that then they’ll get to feel the internal results. I completely missed out on because I just didn’t know yet the part of teaching our clients that those things are amazing, but it’s really the feeling that they are seeking and how that feeling is available to them today.

And in that moment on the call though, my pendulum was swung all the way over to the other side, really kind of downplaying the external results. And focusing really solely on the feeling that is available to them all of the time.

Sometimes we can use the power and the knowledge of coaching against ourselves and against our clients. So that’s what this is really about is just seeing that internal results and external results do not have to be in conflict with one another.

Because the reality is the external result and the internal result is available to us both. These two things are not in conflict with one another. Confidence is good but money is better, money is fabulous. Let’s go create more of it for you. And confidence is how we’re going to do it.

We all know as we help our clients that those internal and external results will vary at points. They are always in flux. We are always in a flux of emotion and a flux of circumstance, circumstances are always changing, life is always changing, and thoughts and feelings are always changing. Those things are always in flux. And none of that has to be a problem.

Thankfully, as soon as I was on vacation, because I really was in that day in a half leading up to the vacation, I mean, you’ve taken a vacation before, right? You know that place where you’re like, call, then this, have I packed this, does the dog have that, does this coach need this, have I lined up that, you know that kind of – and it was our first big vacation where we’d flown – it was the first time we’d flown in well over a year.

So I had all of that and I did not have any brain space on my calendar because all of that extra space was filled up with the getting ready for vacation. So as soon as I’m on vacation and I had 10 full days, hello, oh my goodness, it was so obvious to me.

And I know this. I know internal results and external results are not at conflict with one another. It’s just that in that moment, I kind of forgot. And the luxury of open brain time really helped me think about my own results in my life.

The external results, my internal results, thinking about the internal and external results of my clients who have gone through CCM. And I know these two things are not mutually exclusive. They’ve never been in battle with one another. And oftentimes, again, it’s often a dance between the two.

As a for instance, when a client comes into CCM, they don’t have the internal or the external results yet. That’s why they’re here. That’s why our clients come to us is they don’t have either of them. So we start building on those internal results that make the external inevitable, and it frequently will happen is the external results will start showing up.

And so what will happen inside CCM is clients will start signing their own clients, they start having that money in the bank, and then they’re shocked that they don’t feel automatically more confident too. And then we go to work on that. And so it’s a bit of a dance between the internal and the external results and working on them both, focusing on what the biggest pain point is in any given week, in any given moment.

The funny thing is, side note, we know that no matter where we’re focusing, internal, external results, we’re still always doing the same work. What are they believing that they don’t have to? What do they need to believe instead? What’s the next best step decision that they can take from that new place of belief?

The work is always the same no matter if the focus is on the internal or external, which is why again, when your client says this internal result sounds nice but the external result is a hell of a lot better, the answer is yeah, so let’s go do it.

Confidence is nice but money is better, you’re right. Money is amazing. Let’s go make you some more. Let’s figure out all the things going on inside your Helga brain right now preventing you from meeting as many people as possible, from making as many offers as possible.

Let’s find all that doubt that has you giving up in big and small ways, that has you stopping and starting, that has you keeping your big bold ideas to yourself, those big bold ideas that would be that lighthouse and that beacon to your ideal client. Let’s go figure all of that out so that you can feel more confident and sign more clients.

The Confident Coaches Mastermind purpose, that’s what it is. To feel more confident and sign more clients. It’s not feel more confident and let’s hope clients come along someday. It’s also not let’s go sign more clients so that then you finally get to feel confident and let’s hope that the confidence is coming along too.

No, the two things go hand in hand. Let’s do both at the same time. So here’s an exercise for us to do. And I did this while I was on vacation. It was so helpful. It actually – side note, this exercise I’m getting ready to share with you actually helped me create a free training that I ended up giving last week.

We are actually still doing the work even into this week. So if you want in on my Mid-Year Power Reboot, the live classes and the training were last week but we’re still live, it’s a pop-up Facebook group, we’re still doing the work this week. So drop me a message on social media, send me an email, Amy@amylatta.com.

You can watch all the training videos and still join us in this follow up week, which is this week, happening right now. And we will get you what you need but that training came from me doing the exercise that I’m getting ready to share with you.

And what that is is what are the internal and the external results. What are all the internal results that your clients want? How do they want to feel? What are all the different feelings that they are desiring? What do they want to all believe about themselves? What are those thoughts that they all wish they had? What are the thoughts and the feelings that they wish that they had?

And then what are all the external results the clients say that they want? What are the tangible things they want to be doing that they aren’t doing? What are all the tangible things they want to stop doing? What are the things that they want to see? What are those results, those external results that they really want to have?

And then start talking about both sets of those things together. Show them how the internal and the external do go hand in hand. Show them how these two things are not in conflict with one another. It’s not this or that. It’s both at the same time. And some weeks we might be more focused on one than the other and that’s all okay.

We’re all doing the same work no matter where the focus is. These two things are not against each other, they are together, and that’s the work that we’re going to do as we work together. This idea is so powerful for them because so many of your clients think that it has to come in a certain order, it has to look a certain way, and we’re really sharing with them that it’s both at the same time.

Because that is what we do in CCM. That dance between the internal results, that you can believe that this is possible, that you are the perfect coach for your ideal clients, that clients can happen in any moment, and the feeling of being confident, doing something you’ve never done before and feeling sure and feeling certain, and the external results of showing up and making those posts and making those offers and going live on Facebook for the first time and starting to do Instagram reels, and then the results of more comments, more consult calls on your calendar, and more clients in your book, and more clients getting the results that you want.

We’re working on all of that together at the same time. It’s never one or the other. And that’s what we do in CCM. Let’s get you feeling more confident and signing more clients. We’re going to do that by finding out what you’re believing that you don’t have to. And then finding out what you want to believe instead so that you can make each next best step decision every day and keep going.

So that both the confidence and the clients, inevitable, my friends. Alright, internal and external results, what are the internal results and the external results that your clients are seeking? Internally, what do they want to be believing? What do they want to be feeling? Externally, what do they want to be doing? And what results they tangibly want to see. Know what these things are and speak to them both and show your clients how they all go hand in hand.

And if your internal results and external results aren’t what you want them to be, if you’re not feeling more confident in order to sign more clients, then let’s get you enrolled in the July class of the mastermind. www.amylatta.com/mastermind. We are enrolling right now. You still have time. Let’s get you in there. We start this month.

Just imagine the internal and the external results that are waiting for you next month, next quarter, by the end of this year. Alright my friends. This was a short but a good one. Go do the work and go share it with the world. I can’t wait to see what you create. Alright confident coaches, remember, until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.

Hey coach, you actually can join me right now. We are enrolling in the July class of Confident Coaches Mastermind, where you will learn how to feel confident in you, no matter what.

No matter how much engagement you have on that post, no matter how many haters you have in that one video you posted, no matter how many consults are on your calendar right now and whether or not they’re saying yes or no, no matter how many clients may or may not be happy with you at this very moment because of the work you’re doing together. That’s confidence.

It’s not knowing how to do everything right. It’s knowing you can handle whatever comes your way, even when you feel doubt, even when you feel worry, even when you feel anxiety. You can have all of those things at the same time and that is actually what makes you a confident coach.

You’re going to learn how to do all of that in Confident Coaches Mastermind. So head over to amylatta.com/mastermind. Apply and then you’ll schedule a consult call with me where we’re going to meet, we’re going to see where you are now, where you want to be in six to 12 months, and how Confident Coaches Mastermind, how CCM can help you overcome what’s standing in your way. I cannot wait to meet you. Amylatta.com/mastermind.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.