Ep #185: Do What They Say You Can’t

You are listening to episode 185 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you do what you think you can’t. All right, coach. Let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m Amy Latta, let’s dive in.

Okay, coaches, in this episode, I want to let you know that I don’t script every word of my podcast episodes, but I do have a solid outline and key points. However, this one is going to be more spontaneous, so hold on tight. This episode is all about motivation and kicking some ass. It may not require extensive notetaking, but it’s the kind of episode that you’ll want to save and listen to again whenever you feel like saying, “I can’t do that.”

The inspiration for this episode came from the past two episodes. Two episodes ago, I talked about the importance of play and how it contributes to success. We discussed the idea of incorporating play into your business and life from the beginning and throughout, rather than saving it for the end and just doing what’s expected. This approach will require you to do things differently than what you’ve been accustomed to your whole life and challenge the advice given by many other business coaches in this industry. The first response is often “I can’t do that.”

Last week, I discussed the concept of creating a “yes plan” as an extension of wanting more dopamine, play, and enjoyment in life. However, I also acknowledge that failure is a crucial part of achieving success, and the fear of failure can be daunting. So, what if we start saying “yes” to things? What am I willing to say “yes” to? This will inevitably trigger thoughts of “I can’t do that.” That’s why in this episode, we’re going to explore why you can do what others say you can’t, and why it’s important to do those things. This idea has been a recurring theme throughout my coaching career, affecting me, my peers, and my clients.

It’s completely uncommon because our minds like binary; we like black or white, this or that, left or right. I can do that. I can’t do that, which is crazy because we all know that life is the nuance in between. Life is not one or a hundred; it’s the 98 between. You know that. I know that life is fabulous and it’s painful. It’s full of failures that lead to success. There’s happiness with tears. Right, this is what life is. No one’s ever completely wrong or completely right, except for Flat Earthers. Right, there are definitely some topics where I’ll be like you are 100% wrong, but 99% of life is in the middle.

So, every time your brain thinks, I want you to think back to the past two episodes. The past two episodes were about grabbing a notebook, taking notes, and coming up with ideas. This is the episode for when half of those ideas are “I can’t do that.” What ideas did you dismiss? What ideas did you poo-poo? What ideas did you ignore because your louder, primitive brain screamed at you “I can’t do that”? And “I can’t do that” can take many different forms. I can’t do that because this coach specifically said not to do that. I can’t do that because I don’t think I’m smart enough, pretty enough, professional enough – insert “enough” right, insert whatever kind of “enough.” I can’t do that because I haven’t learned like I should. This is a different version of “I’m not enough” right, but there’s more learning I need to do. I need to wait for some reason. It’s not that I’ll never be enough. I will be enough, but only after I go do this thing, or I fix this first, or I do this first. You know, I can’t do that because I’ve tried and tried and tried and tried, and it’s never worked in the past. So, therefore, it’ll never work in the future. Like, “I can’t do that.”

That shows up in a couple of different flavors. The most important thing that I need to understand is that it’s all nonsense. None of it’s true. “I can’t do that” isn’t true. Now, some things are illegal, like I noticed that I’m always like, yeah, but what about? You know? You know, I can’t even think about that. The first thing I thought was driving while drunk, which is like, no, no, don’t do that; you can’t do that; you shouldn’t do that, right. Like, what about this clearly illegal thing and against the law? Like, guys, we’re not talking about that, right; we’re talking about you showing up in the world with more play, more enjoyment, more fun, you becoming more daring, you saying what you really want to say, you saying those things that you only say to yourself or your deepest, darkest friends, thinking you will be judged for. You’re looking at the three or, you know, three to five top leaders in your industry and you doing something that goes against what they’ve said is okay, but it’s true for you. This is what we’re talking about.

I can’t do that, and this has come up in so many conversations with colleagues, peers, coaches, clients. We might also call this the why. Yes, you can change the circumstance if you want to. “I can’t do that” might be because I’m supposed to change my thinking. I know it’s just my thoughts. And if I just believed harder, and I should just believe harder and I should not change the circumstance of the situation because I need to work on my thoughts; well, I mean, yeah and also no. Again, everything is the nuance in the middle.

Who says you can’t change the circumstance other than, like what? Any? The lady I learned coaching from said I couldn’t. Yeah, but what if she’s wrong? What if you actually can? So let me give you a couple of examples of this. I have a couple of examples of this personally. I have some examples of friends, colleagues, and clients that I’ve seen. So maybe you were doing really well selling coaching. You got yourself into a “here’s how to grow that business to the next level,” and they gave very specific instructions: do this, don’t do that, do not entertain this, do this, not that. And it didn’t work for you. Now the reigning belief is you just weren’t committed enough. You just didn’t believe hard enough. But listen, if you’ve been working on something for months and even years, and you are a formally paid coach, looking at one client that can change the circumstance, change it up 100%. You do not need my permission. The whole point of this episode is you do not need my permission ever for anything. You have permission to do what they say you can’t do. So why not do it?

You know what? I’m not selling my six-month package. I’m not selling my six-months package that’s thousands of dollars. And I know it’s just my thoughts and my thinking, and I need to figure out where my self-concept is missing. And also, you’ve gone six months, and you’re coaching one, maybe two hours a week. Let’s get some coaching calls on your calendar. Why not do a limited time only, “Your Summer of Experience, Better Summer Than You’ve Ever Had.” Four weeks only for four, five, $600. Doesn’t even matter what the price is. Why not offer a short-term, get people in the door kind of offer? Why not? Why not do that? Why not reach out to all of your past clients and say, “Hey, you got a problem that you can’t work on, that you can’t quite figure out. Let’s go work on it for four weeks straight. Let’s get you set up to have the best summer ever.” Ooh, I like that name, “The Best Summer Ever.” Let’s go make that happen and get some clients in your door.

Yes, we need to work on your belief that you can sell the thousand-dollar package. Yes, we need to work on how you can explain your offer and express the results that people are going to achieve. You know, here’s what’s possible for you to create. Yes, you need to get better, and you can get better at helping them see themselves in your copy. Yes, all of that is possible. And also, let’s get some people in your door. Why not? Of course, you can do that. This is all part of that Yes Plan idea. What’s that? And play idea, what would be weird, different, fun? I don’t care if it goes against the grain. What if you try it? It’s an experiment, right? And if it doesn’t work, then you get to decide if you want to tweak something about it or if you want to try something different altogether. There are so many options and possibilities, and we close ourselves off every time we say, “I can’t do that. I need to work on my thoughts; I need to work on my belief.” Like those things can be true. And also, let’s get some coaching hours under your belt. Let’s get you coaching. Let’s get you some fast results. Let’s get you pumped up and reminded of what you’re doing. You’re doing it, you’re doing it, you’re doing it, you’re doing it, you’re doing it, you’re doing it. Let’s get you pumped up and remembering why you love this. Let’s go get you some quick wins, quick and easy wins.

Now, I may not coach everybody this way. Some people might be doing really fantastically well and really good with the offer that they have, and it’s just about deepening their self-concept and deepening their belief. And I would not say don’t suddenly offer something entirely different. Let’s double down on what the offer that you have; the larger message of this is overcoming. “I can’t do that,” is significantly easier with a coach. You can hold up that mirror and help you discern the difference between making excuses or if this is a prime opportunity to just change the circumstance and let’s try something different.

So, offering short-term coaching for one month is a possibility. I will say there are some things that are considered best practices in the industry. There’s a reason why we say start with one-on-one coaching before you ever move into a group because when you’re selling one-on-one coaching, you only need to sell, and you only need one person to say yes. When you’re selling group coaching, you need like five or ten people to say yes. It’s just simply easier to get one person to say yes than it is to get five people to say yes. And memberships are not necessarily easier. They’re even harder than group. That’s even harder than group because you have to keep them in even once they’re in. You have to continue marketing and selling to them even after they’ve said yes.

So, there are reasons why the status quo tends to be one-on-one and then maybe group and then maybe membership. There is a reason for that. And also, some people are really great at selling groups.

Some people are naturally gifted at selling groups. Some people are. There’s another reason to start in one-on-one before going to group, and that is because it’s easier to manage and hold the space for one person than it is for five or more. Group coaching requires holding space for multiple personalities and energies. If that is not your natural gift, then yeah, you probably shouldn’t try to sell 10 spots of something when you’re not selling one, and you have no idea how to manage and corral and hold space for that many different energies. But some people are amazing at that. Some people, like, walked out of the womb amazing at that. Not room: I actually did mean womb. I mean, maybe you, from the very beginning of your existence, are fantastic with that.

One of my closest friends has always done a group program. She loves her group program. She wouldn’t change it at all. No, that’s you. I don’t know. Maybe you should give it a test, give it a try. What happens is that we put all of our eggs and all of our belief into one group, into one basket, and when that one thing doesn’t work out one time, we think nothing’s ever going to work.

This is where you got to go back to that “dopamenu.” You got to go back to that Yes Plan. Remember, we’re talking about what’s fun, what’s an experiment, what’s enjoyable, which joyful. Test, test, test. Why not try it? Why not mess some things up in your business? Right now, I want you to be coaching. I want you to be coaching. What’s the fastest, simplest way to get people in your door coaching with you? Now, in Free to Paid Coach, I tell you, and here’s the interesting thing: In Free to Paid Coach, I tell you what to do to sign the clients and what to do with the emotional avalanche that comes with signing those clients. They’re like doing the hard work that comes with it. You have to have both. And so many people will be like, “Well, Amy told me what to do, but I’m also going to foster doing things my own way.”

Again, watch for that binary thinking. If you have no idea where to start, here’s the step one, step two, step three. But if you already have some ideas, if you already have some things you want to try, maybe you’re combining step one, step two, step three, and you’re adjusting it for you. That’s ideally what we’re doing with any program. Take what you need, leave the rest on the table Any time. There are 100% people who are in my programs who are not doing what, they are, not entertaining an idea that they really love, but they poo, pooed it, they shut it out the door because it doesn’t follow. That well, Amy said I got a one, two and three. Stop that. Stop using my coaching to punch yourself in the face. Maybe I’m wrong. Oh my God, did you ever consider that? And let’s be honest, it’s not that I’m wrong, it’s just that idea is not suitable to you, and I understand why we get into binary thinking.

It comes up so often that if I can’t sell this new package at this price, then something’s wrong with me. I must suck at this. And coaching admittedly I have said this before, and it is a horrible, awful, shaming thing to coach somebody from and anybody I have ever coached this. This is like an open-air public apology. Well, do you think I could sell it? Do you think I could sell that package at that price? Why? Why do you think I could do that? The whole idea here is you’re going to guess what kind of thoughts I would have, which are really your thoughts, and I’m going to encourage you to believe them instead. But this idea of I can do it, why can’t you? is so shaming and it’s so shitty and we shouldn’t be doing that to our clients. And I liken it to so many times our school system.

I have a kid who’s a junior in high school. We’re finishing up his junior year, and he’s ridiculously smart, talented, and athletic. He checks all the boxes. However, I don’t know if this kid should be going to college or not. Thirty years ago, there would have been no question; the culture was very much focused on attending college. But I don’t know what this kid needs to do, and I think so much depends on numbers.

It makes sense that your belief in yourself depends on the revenue coming in because we’ve done this from the earliest of ages. MAP scores might only be a Missouri thing, but it’s like the annual testing, right? Your scholarships are dependent on your ACT number. But what if you’re a brilliant human and you’re super bad at taking tests? My kid’s amazing at taking tests, but what if my neighbor’s kid or another kid sitting next to him is actually ridiculously smarter when they take a test and they just don’t do as well?

Are we going to say that my kid’s better than the other one? No. Are we going to say the coach that can sell what you aren’t selling is better than you? No. Can you tell I’m really passionate about this? No, it’s all nonsense. This is like deciding what you weigh determines whether or not you are healthy. The number on the scale doesn’t necessarily determine your health. There are plenty of skinny, unhealthy people who have all kinds of not-so-good things going on in their body, who have high cholesterol and bad numbers. Yet we’ll just look at the number on the scale and decide this person’s healthy and this person’s not. We’ll look at revenue and determine if this person’s successful or not. We’ll look at a number and decide if this person’s really great at sales or not. It’s all binary and it’s all bullshit.

The fact of the matter is, what works for me may not work for you, and if you need to change up the circumstance or shake things up to map out the way you are going to be successful, let’s do it. You can do it. Yes, you can. You do not have to do things the way everybody else has, even if they are massively successful and have taught tons of other people to be successful. There are so many different ways to get to the same destination. Remember, this work is not binary, and I have experienced this in my own business as well.

I shared a couple of episodes ago that for the past three years, I have had many tasks outsourced. I didn’t know that I had undiagnosed ADHD, nor did I understand that I had a natural dopamine deficiency. I then made business decisions that involved outsourcing my admin tasks. If you are a CEO in your business or a massively successful coach who wants to scale, you drop one-on-one coaching and move to group coaching. As a result, I outsourced the very tasks that fueled my brain to function in my business for three straight years.

So, here I am, having made this discovery this spring. It hasn’t even been two months since I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD. We’re still talking and processing these brand-new revelations, realizing that coaching people one-on-one fuels me. While I do have some one-on-one clients and the Path to 100K Mastermind includes a couple of one-on-one sessions, nine times out of ten, I’m coaching only two to three hours a week, regardless of whether it’s a 40-hour, 15-hour, or 20-hour workweek. However, if one of the things I need to do for my brain is to coach more, I want to coach more.

And the moment I realized, “Holy shit, I’ve just outsourced all of this, and it actually really fuels me!” I wanted a full calendar. I wanted a full calendar next week. So, you want to know what I did? I did what they said I can’t do. I went to all of my Free to Paid Coach clients and said, “Hey, do you want some one-on-one coaching? Every single person in Free to Paid Coach gets three 25-minute one-on-one sessions with me. We’re going to hammer out strategy. We’re going to unpack that unbelief you have not been able to move past, or if you just need to vent and have me kick you in the ass, let’s do it.” And you want to know what? Full calendar within 24 hours! I coached 13 Free to Paid Coach people last week, in addition to all of the other clients. I don’t even know what I did this week, basically from 11 to 3, solid for three straight days, and some days, one or two of those days have gone to four. I’ve been coaching with a 30-minute break here or there – amazing! And I did it, doing what they said you can’t do. Now, I can still go sell more one-on-one clients for sure, but when I want a full calendar in a day, boom – done, because I can, and I have. I think I’ve shared on here, I’ve definitely shared in public, if this – I actually cannot remember if I’ve shared this on the podcast.

So, Free to Paid Coach and Path to 100K. That Path to 100K doesn’t have all of the member site material that Free to Paid Coach does. It’s getting a remodel. You know, after a year of work, after a year of marketing it, and having people go through it, all the material is in the member site, but I’m remodeling, reorganizing it. So, the “what to do” one, two, three is going to be right here. The one to do is to have a Free to Paid Coach. One, two, three is going to be right here. The “what to do” with your emotions is going to be here. It’s going to be very clear. What do you need? You can go right there, and it takes some time for that.

This also means creating a new onboarding sequence to direct you to where you need to go, so that you know what to do and when to do it. But you’re not being overwhelmed by everything. So, all of that backend admin work that comes with running a group doesn’t have to be done the way you think it should be. Not everybody does it that way. But that’s how I had set it up, guys. I would have set it up very differently if I had known I can do whatever I want. So, I’m going to reorganize it on the backend. That’s going to take some time. I also don’t want to wait to sign more people in, so once the remodel is complete, which is going to be sometime in June, I’ll probably do a relaunch with fanfare. But I don’t want to wait, and I don’t want you to wait if you’re ready now.

So, if you sign up for Free to Paid Coach in the month of May, before the remodel is done, you’re going to get three 25-minute one-on-one sessions with me. Yes, you, right now. If you’ve been sitting on the fence of whether or not you should join, you should probably join right now because you are also going to get those one-on-one sessions with me. I know it’s a total no-brainer.

A similar thing for Path to 100K, which, honestly, Path to 100K is more about path to profitability. I care way less about you making 100K than I do about you making an income that’s changing your life. Revenue is for external validation, and winning awards. Income is what changes your life. The focus in Path to 100K is about creating an income that changes your life, and it’s moving to an evergreen opening. That’s going to be around June or July. Free to Paid Coaches will have the remodel done first, then we’re going to do the Path to 100K remodel. It needs much less remodeling because there’s not as much to shift, reorganize, and move.

But I don’t want to wait for that either. I was thinking, “You know what? I don’t want to wait for that either. I don’t want to wait to let people join. If people are ready to join this Path to 100K, Path to Profitability, and they’re ready to join right now, I don’t want to wait, but I have to. Oh wait, no, I don’t; I can do whatever the hell I want.” So, I’ve actually just signed someone into Path to 100K / Path to Profitability. She’s fully aware that the evergreen doors are opening sometime in the next six to nine weeks. So, you know what I’m doing? She’s getting one-on-one coaching with me until then, twice a month. Why not? Why not? If you know Path to 100K is your next step, if you already know how to be a paid coach, and now you want to become a profitable coach, whether that’s 100K, more than 100K, or less than 100K but we’re actually getting you to where you’re generating income in your business and you want to learn to have that “oh yeah, actually, yes, I can” energy, then you should 100% join Path to 100K right now and book your twice-a-month one-on-one sessions until those doors are officially open. Why not? Why not? Let’s do this. Do not have to wait because everything I’ve just shared with you in this episode is about messing things up, doing what they say you can’t do. This is much easier to do when you have a coach not coaching you in the direction that I need you to go, but holding up a mirror to you so that we can decipher what’s an excuse and what would be really fun, what would be really amazing. And let’s try it. I can coach you through the mind drama. I can coach you through why you love this decision, and I can coach you to, uh, hold on a moment.

What about this idea? Instead, I do have 10 years of coaching experience and 20 years of marketing under my belt. I do bring that expertise to the table. Why not do that? So, when you join the Free to Pay Coach program in May, you’re going to get three one-on-one sessions with me, plus guidance on what to do to get paid. Everyone gets help on how to handle the emotional roller coaster and weekly group coaching with me. The same price, same payment plans, and lifetime access to the Path to 100K, a six-month mastermind program.

We’re going to help you determine what’s working in your business and replicate it. What’s not working, we’ll eliminate it, let it go, figure out a different way to do it, and then create your Yes Plan until you create a profitable business that brings you a steady income. We do those six months at a time. Let’s get you in the door now, so we can start working towards that now. Join in the month of May, and you can start coaching with me one-on-one now until those evergreen doors open sometime in the next six, eight, nine weeks. Yes, it’s very flexible and fluid. Oh, Amy, I can’t do that. Yes, I can. And then, of course, I do have one-on-one coaching. I have a limited number of one-on-one spots, and I’m currently working with two amazing human beings right now.

If you are more focused on creating prosperity in your business, knowing how to make money and get to 100k, now you want to do it with much less hustle while learning to love your life. Or maybe you have an amazing business and want to do a complete breakdown and need someone by your side. This is the perfect opportunity for the Path to Prosperity one-on-one coaching with me.

So, for Free to Paid Coach, it’s $1,000 with payment options for any coach who is ready to become a paid coach. Path to 100k Prosperity is $5,000 for a six-month mastermind where we will figure out what’s working in your business and replicate it, eliminate what’s not working, and create your yes plan that leads to a profitable business. That’s $5,000 with payment options. Path to Prosperity one-on-one coaching with me for six months is 10k, also with payment options. You want to know why? Because we can.

Did you hear what you needed to hear? Did I light a fire under you? I hope so. I hope you walk away with the energy to go back to your dopamine menu and your yes plan, uncrossing off some of those ideas you crossed off. Take your ideas to a deeper level, and I believe 100% that whether it’s me or not, you should work with someone by your side to help you see the difference between making excuses and doing what you think you can’t. Change up the circumstances, have your own back, and add more joy, fun, and play into your business right now. Until next week, I can’t wait to see what you create.

Coach, it’s time to sign your first free client, your first paid client, your next client, and to learn how to do it consistently and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way. This is exactly what you’re going to do in Free to Paid Coach. It’s the only program giving you step-by-step what to do to become a paid coach and step-by-step how to handle the roller coaster emotions that come with doing what you need to do to become a paid coach.

If you know you can’t not do this life coaching thing, but believing that you can do it, handling rejection and remembering how to do all of those things shuts you down, the Free to Paid Coach Community is waiting for you. Find everything that you’re looking for inside. It’s only $1,000. Payments are available, and then you’re in forever.

Visit www.amylatta.com/ftpc to join us right now. See you inside. Let’s get paid, coach.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.