Ep #96: Confident Results

Hi, you are listening to episode 96 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you define exactly the result you get when you have more confidence. Let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Hello, my confident coach, how are you today? I’m so excited to have you here. But, I mean, aren’t I kind of always excited every single week? Is that really anything new for me to be so happy to have you here, to invite me into your ear every week and into your mind? I love it so much. I just want to say thank you for letting me in every single week.

I’ve been sharing with my coaches in the Confident Coaches Mastermind, that’s my paid program, how to get better at articulating why people should work with them. And this is some work that we do inside there, inside the mastermind.

Getting better at articulating what struggles do your ideal clients have? And stop being vague about that. What are your fixes for those struggles? How do you help them with those struggles? And not being vague about that either. really paying attention to how much coach speak you’re using and how much vague, inspirational porn you’re using. We don’t do that around here.

Because ultimately you also want to be able to articulate what’s the result they get? What’s going to change for them? Here’s their struggle. Here’s your fix for that struggle. And here’s why. And like so many of us, the coaching we do for others, is often the coaching we need to do for ourselves. Am I right? How many times have you been like, “This is exactly what I would tell a client of mine.” Exactly.

So I’ve been coaching my April group and my July group through this. Asking what is the results your clients get by working with you? And so the results of CCM, the results of confidence are becoming clearer and clearer to me. So let’s talk about it. Like let’s really talk about this. Let’s have this conversation.

I hear this a lot, “Confidence is nice, confidence would be good. But what does it really get you?” You know, we got a lot of listeners every single week. A lot of people that read my emails every week. I run a training and like 300 of you show up. It’s all amazing. But do you truly understand what the result is you want from that confidence?

Because yes, you will walk away from Confident Coaches feeling more confident, right? This is the work, how to feel more confident. And what we mean by that is believing you can do new things. Believing that you can do things you’ve never done before, like sign clients for money, make money as a life coach. Make $100,000 as a life coach, make your first $100,000 as a life coach. Be a business owner. Be someone who asks people for money and they say yes.

It means trying new things you’ve never tried before, testing all kinds of things, not knowing what’s going to work until you figure that out. Coming up with 100 different ways to say the same thing until your people shout yes back at you. Confidence means being more consistent and not letting what used to stop you all of the time, not letting that stop you anymore.

You start quitting on yourself in small ways and big ways. It’s really the small ways that are even the most insidious, right? And I can say that because I’m looking in the mirror on that one. That was like the first two years of my business, was just consistently quitting on myself in tiny, small ways. I never actually gave up. But dang it if I wouldn’t quit on any random Tuesday at one o’clock.

And this feeling more confident, this generalized feeling more confident, I’ve just seen in so many of my previous clients, that they really do leave the program believing that they can just do shit they’ve never been able to do before. That they’ve gotten that, that 1% shift in confidence that takes them into an entirely new direction. It’s so satisfying and so fabulous as a coach to watch your clients bloom and grow using the tools you taught them.

But confidence is what happens on the feeling line. And doing new things, and not quitting on yourself, and showing up in new ways, all of that goes on the action line. For those of you who are new around here, we are users of a coaching tool called the model. Circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, results.

So circumstances are the facts of your life. Your thoughts are what you think about those facts. And that difference means everything. Those thoughts, create your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, and your actions create your results.  So feeling more confident, is feeling more competent on the feeling line, that’s not actually the result. So what’s going on on that R line? Let’s talk about that.

When you’re no longer following other people’s rules, i.e., made up thoughts. That was a podcast just two episodes ago, right? There are no rules. When you’re no longer believing what you don’t have to. When you start believing new things, we’re totally changing up that T line, right? We’re totally changing old beliefs, old rules, old fear of judgment.

All the reasons that you’ve people pleased in the past. All those thoughts that drive your perfectionism, your procrastination, your people pleasing, your good little girl, your desire for that gold star. We’re identifying all of that. We are cleaning up that T line so that you start feeling more confident and you start doing new things from there on that A line. What’s the result of that? What’s your R?

 So first of all, first result of feeling more confident is you’re going to start getting more engagement. You’re start getting more interaction on your posts. More people are going to be responding to the emails that you send out when you have that call to action. More people are going to be answering those questions in your Instagram stories. More people are going to be interacting with you on social media.

More likes, more thumbs ups, more comments, more engagement. Why? Why are they going to be engaging with you more? Because you can’t actually control other what other people do, right? You can only control what you do. So how does what you do influence what other people do? Because those new beliefs and that new confidence, you’re going to start saying stuff you’ve never said before.

I want you to really think about what makes you interact on posts? What makes you engage with other people? They say something that’s surprising or shocking. They say something that you’ve never heard it said that way before. They say something that you’re like, “Oh my gosh, that’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Like do you have a camera inside my house? How did you know I need to hear that in this moment?” Right?

When you aren’t feeling confident, you completely filter what you say and you water down what you’re going to say because you’re afraid of what people might think. Again, you’re worried about rules, you’re worried about judgment, you’re worrying about all of that stuff. So you just temper everything into this kind of vague, watered down, you use a lot of coach speak. Which is a bunch of fancy words that don’t actually mean anything to the average person.

You’re speaking in very vague terms, like people pleasing as opposed to naming what that actually looks like at a specific time and a specific day. You’re using a lot of inspirational porn, that’s where it feels good, it looks good, but it’s just kind of like a short hit of heroin, it doesn’t actually get you anywhere. A lot of your copy is like that right now.

But when you’re cleaning up those Ts, and you’re feeling more confident, you’re going to start saying things so much more powerfully, so much more succinctly, so much clearer than you ever have before, in a more profound way than you’ve ever said it before. That’s why people are going to engage with you. And you know this, because that’s the kind of content you engage with.

I want you to really think about this, you’re scrolling Facebook, that phone is in your hand and that thumb is scrolling. And you see those posts where you’re just going like, “Oh yeah,” and then you keep on going by versus the, “Wait, what? How did she know? I can’t believe she said that. Wow, that’s really powerful. Oh, that’s what I really needed to hear right now.” That’s how you get more engagement on your posts. And all that comes from feeling confident enough to say the shit that’s going to be a scroll stopper.

When you work on your confidence you might still worry what people are going to think about you. You just don’t let that stop you anymore. Because you have the tools to focus on what you do believe and what you do know. And then you also have the tools to feel the discomfort of knowing that some people won’t love being called out like you are calling them out, right? Some people aren’t going to love what you have to say. But you’re going to have the tools to do that.

I still remember this, I remember one of my old mentors talking to me about when you repel who aren’t your people. When you repel some people, you attract who are your people. You want to repel people so you can attract your people.

And I got it in theory, but I didn’t have the tools to deal with being okay repelling people. I was like, “Hi, I’m a people pleaser. I’m a perfectionist to boot. That sounds terrible.” I can get it in concept, but my Helga brain was like, “That sounds like a terrible idea. We don’t want to repel anybody. Nod your head, say yes I understand, and then go do the opposite.” Because I didn’t have the confidence tools with me.

I didn’t have the tools that I needed. So what did I do? I created them. I created those tools that I needed to be okay with repelling people and feel that discomfort. I put them in CCM, I put them in Confident Coaches Mastermind, you’re welcome. Again, we are the best coaches because we are doing the work ourselves. I get it, I understand. That’s why I created those tools.

And as you get more interactions on your posts, you’re also going to be making more daring offers. Remember, that was a past podcast too. I think it was Episode 88, make more daring offers. You’re going to make more overt offers. You’re going to stop with the no offer offers. You’re going to stop with the safe offers. You’re going to tell them what they need to hear. Tell them exactly what to do next. Be overt, be blatant. Confidence will allow you to do that.

So it’s not just getting more engagement on your posts, but we’re also trying to help people know what’s their next step, and that’s to talk to you. And that’s where the more daring offers comes in. Confidence helps you do that.

And when you do that, you start getting more questions, you start getting more inquiries. More people reaching out to you in your DMs and in your messages saying, “Tell me more.” And as you tell them more, and as you make more direct offers there’s more consult calls on your calendar.

So you’ve got more engagement on your posts, you’ve got more consult calls on your calendar, this is a direct result of feeling more confident. So what happens when you get them on the consultation calls? Now there are lots of schools of thought on how to be better at sales. None of those skills help you if your confidence is in the shitter, like mine was. Once again, this program was created because I exist in the world.

So I have my sales program, that’s my coaches program. But there’s a variety to choose out there. There’s no wrong one to go with. So using the skills of confidence that I created, plus whatever sales tools you already have, you stop making no’s mean anything bad about you.

You stop taking objections as personal rejections. Because if it’s not about you, and it’s actually all about them, you can use these skills that you learn in CCM to start thinking about what their models are and why their action line is to say no. What might they be thinking? What might they be feeling? And how can you address that upfront?

And you’ll have these tools to feel the discomfort of being curious and merely asking why. Because that can be uncomfortable if you’ve never done that before. Then challenging their thoughts about time, and challenging their thoughts about money, and challenging their thoughts about family obligations.

Not because you’re pushy, or cringy, or salesy. But because you know, and you believe so fully in your body, you believe in your bones, that you can help them and they are on the phone with you because they want help.

Everything you did to learn how to talk to people via email, and social media posts, and videos, and lives to get that more engagement, you’re going to do again in the consult calls. Finding more answers to objections as you get them. Being willing to think about them after the fact and evaluate everything that you do. And then you start getting more yeses.

It’s kind of like how many different ways are you willing to post something before you start getting engagement? How many different no’s are you willing to get before you start getting yeses? It’s so much of the same work. All of which you learn to do when you are feeling more confident, because you are challenging all of those beliefs and those rules, and that judgment, et cetera, et cetera. And more yeses on consult calls means more clients on your calendar. Yay, that’s why we’re here, right?

More clients on your calendar. What does that mean? It means more money in your bank. More money. That means more money, more income. And when you’re using the tools of confidence you learn in CCM, you’re thinking about your beliefs about you being an expert in your field, your beliefs about being a good coach. What do you know? What are you sure of?

No matter what conflict your client brings to you, you work on your belief that you can coach them through anything. No matter what your results that your clients are currently getting. You’re continually asking yourself how can you coach that problem better and faster? So that your clients get more results that they want, a higher percentage of your clients get that result even faster.

So it’s more engagement, more consults, more yeses, more money, more income as a life coach, more results for your clients. This is what the path to 100K is lined with. This is how you get there. This is how you will create it for you. This is what confidence creates for you. I sound like an infomercial announcer because I’m like, “But wait, there’s more.”

There is actually more, because the true confidence comes from being able to create all of that. Confidence is going to create all of those results for you. More engagement, more consulates, more yeses, more income, more results for your clients, you’ll be well on your path to 100k. And without overworking and hustling.

Because you’re going to be changing your beliefs about what makes a powerful business owner and what makes a successful business owner. And really challenging your beliefs that your results are inevitable no matter how long it takes for you to get there. And you’re going to do it without compromising your values. You don’t have to compromise any of that in order to create those results. You don’t have to overwork and hustle in order to create any of those results.

And without having to become an entirely different person, I get this one a lot, I’m going to have to just be an entirely different person than who I am now. And I’m like, “No, you don’t. Why do you believe that?” We go to work on up leveling what you believe about yourself. What you already have. What you already bring to the table. What’s in you that’s been covered and buried and let’s tap into that and let’s bring that out.

You’re not becoming an entirely different person, you’re becoming who you’ve always been. It’s just been shrouded in rules, and judgment, and fear, and worry, and people pleasing, and procrastination, and perfectionism and all that stuff. That’s not who you are. All of that, that you’ve been presenting as your entire life, that’s not who you are. Who you are is buried under all of that.

You’re not going to become an entirely different person, you’re going to become who you were always meant to be, who you were born as before the shit got buried on. Yeah, I’ll have what she’s having, right? Yes. So not only are you looking at more engagement, more consults, more yeses, more money, more results for your clients, well on your way to the path to 100K in just six months.

And those of you that work 12 months, 18 months, remember, it took me over 15 months to hit that 100K mark, that confidence to keep going, that confidence to not give up on myself. Without overworking and hustling, without compromising your values, without having to become an entirely different person. And in fact, with becoming the very person you have always been.

Coach, this is simply the best work I think any of us can do. Because learning to believe you can do what you’ve never done before, believing that whatever you want is inevitable, even if today’s circumstance says otherwise, your willingness to try 100 different things until you create the result that you want. You’re going to use that in every facet of your life.

From your business, from this moment forward in your life, and your marriage, in your parenting, in your relationships, in your health, in your spirituality. Literally everything. You got confidence, damn Mama, you can create whatever you want then. You want some of this and you can have it.

So listen, I’m going to be hosting a make more offers training next week, you want in on that. And then applications for October CCM will then be open. You’re going to want to be connected with me so you can join that free training, so you can get your application in, so you can get doing this work.

Because what we did in this podcast today, what I shared with you in this podcast today, where you think strategically about the actual results your coaching offers you. Now, some of you have a very tangible result like weight loss or money. You know, “I am a weight loss coach and the result is losing 10 pounds.”

But for some of us we’re like, “I’m just a general life coach and I help moms feel better.” Great, what does that actually look like? You’re going to define that. You’re going to do that work in CCM. You’re going to define that for yourself and you’re going to start talking about it everywhere and anywhere that you can. No more vague people pleasing trying to make everybody happy. No rocking boats conversations. No, the result of confidence is to be able to stand boldly as that lighthouse on the edge of dark waters.

I recently coached in my schools, so I graduated from the Life Coach School. I am a certified life and weight coach and a certified master coach through LCS. And I recently taught in there on trade track and somebody commented, “I feel like I’m shouting into the abyss.” And I’m like, “You are, and that’s not a problem.”

Because you are big, bold, standing, brightly shining lighthouse, shining your light out into the abyss for all of those ships out there in the dark seas to see you. Not all of them want to come into your harbor. But your people will because your light is so damn bright and it’s so damn glorious. And you’re going to keep shining it 1,000 different ways. And they’re going to be like, “I want some of that.”

You can’t do that when you’re vague, and people pleasing, and trying to make everyone happy, and trying not to rock boats. You can’t do that with inspirational porn, and coach speak, and vague speak. It’s too vague, people are like, “That lighthouse looks like all the others.” But when you shine your rainbow light – Do lighthouses shine rainbow lights? I don’t know the Coast Guard would approve.

When you shine your light out there though, coach, when you do that your people can help be sucked in. They’re going to start engaging with you, they’re going to start booking those consult calls, they’re going to start saying yes, and they’re going to start getting results because you feel more confident. That’s what we do here.

All right. Do you love this? If you love this, this is work you know other coach friends of yours need, share this episode with them. You can share it easily on Spotify, Apple Podcasts. Share this podcast episode in your Instagram stories. You can tag me @Iamamylatta, I’ll give you a shout out.

Here’s something I think would be really fun, share just one powerful result that your clients get by working with you. Share that in the comments of this post. I post on Instagram every Tuesday morning, go find it, @Iamamylatta and share a comment there. The comments also going to be on my Facebook business page, you can share it there. I also send it via email and you can hit reply. Share your powerful result that your clients get by working with you.

And if you want to do more of that work, make sure you get your butt enrolled in the October Confident Coaches Mastermind. Okay? All right my friends. I cannot wait to see what you create in this world. All right confident coaches, remember, until next week let’s go fuck some shit up. Love you.

Coaches, I have created a brand new freebie offer just for you podcast listeners. I created a brand new training called Stop Over-Complicating Confidence. Because I see my coaches do it all the time, make this confidence thing way harder than it has to be.

In this free training you’re going to learn exactly how you over-complicate confidence, what’s creating that, and how to stop it. Here’s the best part, all of it less than an hour. Less than an hour of your time. You will feel more confident in less than an hour. Yeah, friends, this is the best training I’ve ever done. So visit amylatta.com/podcastgift to get yours. Again, that’s amylatta.com/podcastgift. Go now and feel more confident in just an hour.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.