Ep #163: A Business Worth Celebrating For

This is the episode that makes under-celebration a thing of the past. Why don’t we celebrate in the first place? Why is this a problem?

Why aren’t we like little toddlers who say, “I’m amazing. Mommy, look what I did,” as they show you some sort of crayon mess they’re so proud of.

Where is that energy for the milestones in our coaching business? Where’s that little girl who was so proud of herself for all of the smallest things that she did? Where did she go? Let’s go get her back. 

The doors to Free to Paid Coach are officially open! If you’re ready to learn the foundational concepts of confidence that get you from being a free coach to a paid coach who makes six figures and beyond, join us right now! 

What You’ll Learn:

  • Celebrating isn’t bragging. It’s merely saying, “I did this and I’m proud of myself”
  • We’re conditioned not to celebrate because we don’t want to make others feel bad
  • Discover the shift of energy you will feel if you always celebrate your business
  • Not celebrating your accomplishments is like having a crappy boss who never recognizes your achievements

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to episode 163 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you create a business worth celebrating. Let’s go. 

Welcome to the Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m. Amy Latta, let’s dive in.

Hello, my coaches. I hope you are having an amazing day, an amazing time. I hope that you are soaking up all the beautifulness that December has to offer as we start looking towards 2023. And in these past few weeks, we’ve been talking a lot about businesses that’s worth failing for, you know, to what it means to fail more.

Why that’s important, what it means to fall in love with your business, what it means to take full ownership of all of that. Here’s the interesting thing, so many of you are so afraid of failing that we aren’t addressing very real fears of succeeding. Specifically, why every single one of you, I promise every single one of you, is under celebrating, and it just needs to end right here.

Hopefully, this is the episode that makes under-celebration a thing of the past that we all become fierce, feminist fury, powerful coaches who bring in and celebrate all of the milestones that we have because it’s so important.

So, let’s talk about having a business worth celebrating for. And really the doorway into this conversation really is going to start with why don’t we celebrate in the first place? Why is this a problem? Why aren’t we like little toddlers or four or five- and six-year-olds who are like, “I’m amazing. Guess what I did, mom? Mommy, look, what I did,” as they show you this picture of, you know, some sort of crayon mess they’re so proud of.

They’re so excited and they can’t wait to tell you about it. They want to tell everybody about all of the things. Where is that energy? Where is that little girl who was so proud of herself for all of the smallest things that she did? She was like, “I am hot shit.” Where did she go?

Well, she’s buried under a lot of patriarchal thinking, obviously, but let’s divest some of that. Like, let’s unpack and here’s the thing, this comes up all of the time. How many times before have I said, you know, all of the clients who will have their first five figure month and there’s little to no celebration.

And instead, I am coaching them on all of their fear and their doubt and a whole new host of worries that come up for them. And I’m always like, “whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How have you celebrated this?” And almost always, “I didn’t. Well, I mean, I’m celebrating with you now as I’m bringing up all of these awful things that are now going to happen because this amazing thing that I’ve always wanted happened,” and we’re like, “wait a minute, where’s that fantastical young girl dancing around in her tutu who’s just like, look at me, mom, I am amazing, right?”

Or, a lot of times we’ll be like, “oh yeah, I’m going to celebrate my husband and we are going out to dinner,” or, you know, “I’ll go get a manicure.” Okay, well first of all, you should be doing those things anyway if they bring you joy, okay? Like don’t save everyday things for just celebration.

That is one way of celebrating. This is kind of a podcast topic for another day, but I think it’s really important that celebrating isn’t necessarily something you do. So right off the top, let’s acknowledge that sometimes it is. Maybe there is a special restaurant, you know, the Michelin-rated restaurant in your town, and you decided, “when I hit this, we’re going to that place.”

Now we could argue whether or not you should try to get to that place anyway, but like, I get it, or I know for a lot of people it’s that designer handbag you’ve had your eyes on, but you need the income to be able to pay for it. I get that. Maybe it’s a luxury trip somewhere. Maybe it’s a weekend away, but it’s a weekend away doing something that is more elevated than you normally do.

I want to offer to you, and again, this is an entire other podcast, finding ways to be able to do more of that stuff day to day, and to not put off your pleasure and not put off your joy, because then it becomes a very like reward-based system. And that’s not necessarily what we want to set up here, but I do get that sometimes that might be part of your celebration, but this episode is not about booking a five-star Michelin dinner when you hit 10k, 50k, or a 100k. This is about celebration as a state of mind, not necessarily a thing that you go do. It’s a state of mind and it’s stopping to allow your mind to acknowledge and accept and honor. I did this, I created this. I take ownership over the result that I have created in my life. I did this, not anyone else.

Yes, I might have had people alongside me, but without me, this would not have happened. That is the celebratory mindset that we are talking about. This is the mindset that is the answer to under celebrating. Not just acknowledging but honoring that this is good and it’s enough.

Oh, ding, ding, ding, ding.

And we just found trigger number one of why we don’t, and that is oftentimes the number one reason I hear that you weren’t celebrating is that it’s not enough. It’s not the final destination. You know? Yes, “I’m really excited that this happened, but this isn’t enough to like, let me quit my job. This isn’t enough to pay all of my bills. This isn’t enough to make up for all of the money I’ve invested in it.”

I don’t know how many of my clients are listening to this going, “is she talking about me? It’s me. It’s me.” I’m talking about all y’all because it’s not just one of you. Well, you’ll be like, “I can’t celebrate because like I’ve worked six months to get to this place. There’s so much time, there’s so much money, and while yes, this is really nice that I’ve created this, it’s not enough to make up for all of the time and money and the effort it took to get here.”

Holy. Whoa. I’m sorry, I’m gonna need the judge’s ruling on this one. That is some patriarchal crap buried on top of you right there. Like can you imagine telling your kid who’s trying to learn how to play baseball and their goal is to hit their first home run and they hit a ball and they make it on first and you’re like, “yeah, but all the hours it took you to get to just to be able to hit the ball and even get on first? I mean, I don’t know.”

No, we would never do that. We’d be an asshole if we did that. And yet there’s a part of you that is doing this list of checks and balances and you’re keeping all of your receipts and you’re waiting for it to become this magical time where all of the receipts are no longer larger than the actual accomplishment.

And this is the kind of thing where you can hear it in the back of your mind of like, “yeah, that’s good, but it’s not quite there enough.” My dad telling me, “it’s an A minus, why isn’t it an A?”

We can always do more. We can always achieve more. We can always be better. We can always improve the timeline of things. We can always become more efficient. But that it’s not enough or that it’s not worth celebrating until it is, is a way to keep us from continuing going is a way to keep us from a couple of the other points that I have in here.

It’s a way of keeping us small. It extends the timeline to focus on how it’s not enough, not speeds it up. That’s the critical thinking error here, is that we think that stopping to celebrate slows us down when it does the exact opposite, and not stopping to celebrate is what slows us down. Not the other way around, but we’ve all been told over and over again, “no, you got to get back to it. You got to get back into the grind, blah, blah, blah. You don’t want to lose that momentum.”

Bullshit. Momentum is a thought in your mind that you can flip on and off as soon as you need it. The greatest trick the patriarchy ever played was telling you that nothing you ever do is enough. And even when you get there, you’re not actually there.

You can tell that I get a little bit fired up about this subject. Yeah, just a little bit. When in actuality, every single win you have is a steppingstone to the bigger win, and they’re necessary. To say that they’re not enough or hitting these stepping stones later than planned does not diminish in any way how important and worthy of celebrating they are.

It’s very rare that we hit a big or small goal that’s not a stepping stone to a next stage. Even if right now you think 100k is the max goal that you can imagine, as you get closer, you will start to see beyond that. It’s like any journey. The closer you get to your destination; you can start to see what’s on the other side, and you may start to set your sight on what’s beyond.

But each milestone on your way there is a celebration, and you can’t learn how to hit a home run until you figure out how to get on first base. So, celebrate the hell outta getting on first base. Hell, celebrate the hell out of connecting bat to ball. It’s a big deal and it’s necessary in order to get to where you’re going.

So, celebrate the hell out of what it is, whatever it is that you’ve accomplished. And mostly because here’s really what’s happening is you aren’t turning around to see how far you’ve come. I love regularly pushing myself beyond what I once thought was impossible, but you can lose sight of how far you’ve come when you’re continuously looking only into the future.

And we’ve been told as coaches over and over again, don’t look to your past. Don’t make decisions from your past to decide what’s possible in your future. And I’m like, look to your past. Absolutely, you should every once in a while, turn around and see how far you have come. There was a day when you hadn’t signed one client ever.

When becoming a life coach was just an idea in your mind that you hadn’t taken any action. Look how far you have come since that point. That’s how you know it’s more than enough because there was once upon a time what you’ve just created what I’m challenging you to celebrate was beyond your wildest dreams.

People are paying you to coach. What?! I’m a life coach. I used to be a doctor. I used to be a stay-home mom. I used to be a secretary. I used to be a hairdresser. I used to own a business where I was beholden to all these other people. Now I get paid for helping people feel better. Are you serious? This is amazing.

Celebrate that because it’s always enough. It’s more than enough because you of one year ago, or five years ago, 10 years ago, would be amazed by it.

Okay. I kind of insinuated or alluded to it earlier. One of the big reasons we don’t want to celebrate is this idea that we shouldn’t brag. Now there is some suppressionist bullshit right there.

I’m dropping a lot of bullshits in this episode. You shouldn’t brag. Says who? Your mom, your dad, your great aunt, your grandma, your teacher, your boss. Because there is yet another patriarchal rule that somebody in ancient times made up and we all decided to agree with it all. A wish designed to keep you small and to keep you from striving for more.

Bragging, which is saying something in a boastful manner. It’s literally the definition. It’s not inherently good or bad to brag, and celebrating isn’t even necessarily bragging. It’s merely saying, “I did this and I’m proud of myself for what it took, for what I had to overcome for me achieving it. I did something and I’m proud of me.” That is what celebrating is.

And we’re conditioned not to celebrate because it’s too much. You’re too much. It’s too much. And we don’t want to make other people feel bad, or we don’t want anyone to think that because we’ve achieved something other people haven’t, we think we’re better than other people. Again, all of that, just a bunch of crap.

That’s not even real. Not even true. Now, you cannot control if your accomplishment might be something that someone else uses against them, and you can’t control if other people think she thinks she’s better than I am.

But that is on them, not you. Now, this doesn’t mean that we don’t need to read a room when we’re celebrating or be callous towards someone else’s struggle, but not celebrating because it’s bragging is truly an entirely made-up construct.

My celebrating does not dictate how someone else feels. And I know this because there are plenty of people, coach friends, non-coach friends who’ve not created anything near what I’ve created, and they’re truly happy for me. They think this is amazing what I’ve done. And the person standing next to them might be thinking, who does she think she is? She’s a little big for her britches.

Now look. This is other people’s opinions every day of the week, we honestly cannot control what other people think of us, and not everyone is going to think the same thing. So, you might as well be proud of yourself and celebrate what you’ve accomplished. And there’s a difference between cocky and over arrogant, which means I am better than you.

And confident and accomplished and celebratory, which means I’m proud of me. Another reason that we can also struggle to celebrate is because we’ve likely had to make a ton of mistakes along the way, possibly resulting in delays or if not delays, we didn’t get a hundred percent right out of the gate. We failed a lot, right?

You gotta swing and miss a lot of times before you get on base, and you had to have a lot of popup flies before one finally goes out and you get a home run. Sorry, I’m using a lot of baseball references here. I hope you guys are up with me on this.

Of course, we’ve been talking about failure is the expectation. This has been a theme of the podcast for the past few weeks. As I’m recording this, I’m literally running an epic fails week. Failure is the name of the game. Have a business worth failing for, your willingness to fail 90 times in 90 days.

That’s the interview that we had with Krista just a few weeks back when she talked about that. And the reason that we don’t want to do this, again, this idea that if you’re not a hundred, you might as well be zero, if you’re not first, it doesn’t matter. We talk about this kind of thing in both Free to Paid Coach and Path to 100k Mastermind extensively, but Path to 100k is where it really starts to land because we are really striving to achieve new things and new goals at a much higher level.

When you are in a Path to 100k Mastermind group, and all of that work, your patriarchal thinking that is in your mind is constantly being triggered when you are in a mastermind setting like that, which is why so much of my work is helping you dismantle that thinking in your own brain so that it doesn’t have to be so triggering as you move forward and it makes sense.

That we think we can’t make a lot of mistakes, or we can’t be delayed in any way because all we’ve ever heard, so there’s only room at the top form of chosen few. And those chosen few, they haven’t made mistakes. They’re the one hundred. Of course, it’s literally not even true. The top is not a peak. It’s an endless platform, and there’s more than enough room for literally everyone.

There’s more than we could ever need. We do not live in a scarce world. There are definitely resources that get held on by certain people, and there are people who don’t have access to them, but it’s not because there’s not enough. There’s plenty of what we need in this world. And your work is to keep those flows, of I always have exactly what I need, and I always have, what’s coming to me is always coming to me.

You need to have those gates open. No one is more worthy or more valuable because they get the resources earlier than someone else. That they get something before someone else does. That is not a real thing that there’s more worth or value to the person that gets there faster, that’s not a thing.

Okay, so how do we celebrate?

To me, we’ve already talked about this a little bit and that was the whole part around looking back, not just forward on your journey, what would one year ago you say, what about five years ago you? What would 10 or even 20 year ago you say? What would she think about your most recent accomplishment? Let her talk to you right now.

Let her tell you all the reasons this is worthy of celebration. Let her thoughts about you and what you’ve accomplished settle into your body and into your bones. I want you to actually go to this place. Of one or five or 10 or 15, 20, you get to decide the pinpoint, but go back to that version of you and have a conversation with her.

“Hey, we did this.” What would she say to you? What does 25-year-old say to you? Like, I’m 48, so that would be a great place. Like what does 25-year-old Amy say to 48-year-old Amy? “Holy shit. What? I didn’t know we could do that. I didn’t know that was allowed. Oh my gosh. Look at all of the ways that we broke down barriers.”

Look at all of the ways. You mean we no longer let other people’s opinions stop what we’re doing? That’s a real thing. This is exciting. Oh, my goodness. Like the pride and the accomplishment and the excitement. Let those thoughts, her thoughts about you and what you’ve accomplished settle into your body and into your bones.

Now there’s another doorway to this way of celebrating, and that is what, if this was your BFF of ever like your best friend of ever, what would you say to her if this was your peer in the mastermind, your mastermind sister who’s been there with you every step of the way, what would your thoughts and feelings be for her? True pride and honor to have been witness to it?”

What would you say to that person who you are so proud of? And here’s the thing, there is somebody in your life, your kid, your spouse, your BFF, your sister, your mom who’s achieved something that they worked so hard for, and the pride that you felt on behalf of them, towards them, the accomplishment, the giddiness that you felt because of that.

My sister graduating with her master’s degree. What?! Let those thoughts about her and what she’s accomplished, that’s available to you too. Why not that be available to you too? And let those thoughts and feelings settle into your body and into your bones. Okay, and then one last thing. This is also super fun.

This is an action that’s a follow-up to last week. So, your action, if you aren’t worth celebrating, what about your business? Is your business worth celebrating?

Last week, I had you write a letter to your business. We defined your relationship with your business, how you feel about it, how you think about it, having a business worth failing for, having a business that you feel unconditional love for.

A business who’s never going to hurt you. Does your business deserve that celebration? Does it deserve to be recognized? How is it worth celebrating? How is your business worth celebrating? What will it mean in the world if you continually celebrate your business? What have you done together? That’s the energy shift that we are looking for, and this is the work that you do in Path to 100k Mastermind.

We’re setting like epic level goals. that feel pretty much impossible. We’re figuring out everything that’s already working in your business in order to get there. Everything that’s not working in your business that you can let go of. And then coming up with all of the epic actions that you are going to take in order to get there.

Continually testing and trying, noticing all of the times patriarchy thinking comes up in your brain, dismantling it, challenging it, questioning. Learning how to keep going even when you aren’t creating the results that you want and learning how to celebrate. I think the biggest reason to celebrate, I know I have said it on the podcast before because I’ve said it, gosh, I don’t know a hundred times in the past couple of years, that eventually your brain will rebel against you if you don’t celebrate.

Can you imagine working for a boss who never congratulated you on any accomplishment? I know. I don’t have to imagine. These were many of my bosses in corporate marketing. What I did was never enough. I came in under budget. Great. I had to create next year’s budget on the new lower numbers. Congratulations at being so good at your job.

We’re now going to give you less money. Make it happen again. You want to know what? Eventually I felt resentful. I hated working. Don’t be that boss. Eventually your brain will rebel against you. Eventually, you will not enjoy coming to work for a boss who doesn’t say, you are doing amazing. I’m so proud of you.

All right. Are you ready to do this work with me. Are you all in? Then make sure you go apply right now. We are enrolling right now for the February, 2023. www.amylatta.com/mastermind Okay? And like every week when you see this podcast, hit social media share in your stories. I would love to hear, what are you celebrating?

This is my challenge to you. I don’t want this to be a passive tag. What are you celebrating? Share with me on social media and let me help you, celebrate. Let’s share with the world what you are celebrating in 2022. What have you accomplished? What are you proud of? What are you so excited about that you have done that?

One year ago, you would be like, wow, that five years ago you would be like, “holy crap, are you serious?” Share that with me. Tag me @iamamylatta, and let’s celebrate with each other. I can’t wait to hear. I’m so excited to see what you create in the world.

Talk to you next week.

Coach, it’s time to sign your first free client, your first paid client, your next client, and to learn how to do it consistently and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way. This is exactly what you’re going to do in Free to Paid Coach. It’s the only program giving you step-by-step what to do to become a paid coach and step-by-step how to handle the roller coaster emotions that come with doing what you need to do to become a paid coach.

If you know you can’t not do this life coaching thing, but believing that you can do it, handling rejection and remembering how to do all of those things shuts you down, the Free to Paid Coach Community is waiting for you. Find everything that you’re looking for inside. It’s only $1,000. Payments are available, and then you’re in forever.

Visit www.amylatta.com/ftpc to join us right now. See you inside. Let’s get paid, coach.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.

 
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Hi, I’m Amy.

For years, I took a ton of action to sign clients.

I learned to create self-confidence and powerfully believe in myself first, and then built a multiple six-figure coaching business.

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