Ep #178: A Business That’s Yours and No One Else’s with Molly Claire

There’s so much about business that can be frustrating and a struggle, but none more than building a business that’s not your own. Yet, thousands of “successful” coaches find themselves in a business built on other people’s values and desires – and no amount of money makes that feel amazing.

The amazing coach and colleague of mine, Molly Claire, joins me today to discuss changes we’ve seen in the industry since 2016 when we first met, and the steps to take to ensure you build a business that looks like yours and no one else’s. Without apology.

The doors to Free to Paid Coach are officially open! If you’re ready to learn the foundational concepts of confidence that get you from being a free coach to a paid coach who makes six figures and beyond, join us right now! 

What You’ll Learn:
  • We have to make sure we’re building our business and not the business that someone else thinks we should build
  • Why it’s important to emphasize the importance of recognizing one’s unique gifts and passions when creating a coaching business
  • We do sometimes think of it as black and white … do I care about serving people or do I care about making money?
  • Acknowledging the balance between the financial goals and the mission of helping others in the coaching industry
  • Having the clarity in your mind and on paper and everywhere what you want to create
Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to episode 178 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you and no one else decides what’s important. Let’s go.

Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating a self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness. More resilience and more joy to your work. This is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.

Amy: Coaches. I am not going to give a long intro today because I’m incredibly excited to introduce to you. One of my very first mentors, a colleague since the spring of 2016, 1 of my original coach instructors, and now somewhat I consider a good friend. I have Molly Claire on the podcast. Many of you might already know her.

Amy: She’s already a brilliant coach for coaches. She and I just have a fantastic conversation about the things that we have seen change in the coaching industry since 2016. Things that we use to coach that we no longer stand by, and most importantly, what she shares about creating a coaching business that is 100% reflective of you and no one else.

Guys, get your pads and pens. This is a good one. Get some notes ready to go. All right, coaches, I could not be more honored to have somebody who has been on my coaching journey. Seven years. I’m inviting one of my original coach instructors, Molly Claire, to join us today. We have had touchpoints over the years, but when I think about somebody who has really seen my business change and grow Molly always comes to mind.

Molly, welcome to the Confident Coaches Podcast.

Molly: Thank you. So excited to be here with you and this conversation.

Amy: I think you might be my first person I’ve learned coaching from I’ve ever had on the podcast, so this is an honor. I’m very honored, and I want to be so not only were you one of my original coaching instructors way way back in April 2016 when we used to meet in person I want you guys to imagine this, particularly if you are currently a life coach school person. So many people come through 30 people in person. Holiday Inn. Express.

Molly: Holiday Inn. Express. That’s right. Dorado Hills, California. I don’t remember if it was this, when the time that you trained, but at one point everything was like under construction, so there were like big sheets up everywhere.

Amy: Not my session that, but I remember people talking about that. It was also with me in the Cayman Islands when I went through a master coach training. So you were not a certifier for me in either one of those, but you were one of my instructors. I brought Molly on today because we’ve been talking so much over the past six months about the things that we see in the industry that we don’t want to emulate. What are some foundational concepts and how can we really grow a business that’s reflective of who we are, because it’s going to be different than me, Amy Latta. It’s going to be different than Molly, and I think so many newer coaches and even established coaches.

I’m going to have that out there. Yeah. I’m going to put myself in that column of I’ve been doing this for 10 years, but I think really stepping into my own, like truly, this is Amy Latta and no one else.

This has only been in the past year or so that I’ve really, truly stepped into this. I’m nine years in and I finally figured out what questions to start asking. So you have seen so many coaches.

Molly: I have, yes, this is true.

Amy: So thinking about those, all of those coaches, and you’ve learned so much and you’ve seen so much that shifted into seven years plus that you’ve been in the industry. So, let’s just start from there of what do you see that people frequently overlook? Don’t

Molly: Honestly a big thing I’ve seen across the board and my hope is that this is getting better. I think there are more conversations about it that are happening, but you come in as a new coach and you think that everyone else knows everything about building a business.

And I think honestly think back to me, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that I knew anything about what I needed to build a business. Does that make sense? Like I was like, I don’t know how to do this. I just need help from these people. And it wasn’t until I started doing it that I started realizing and working with other coaches as well, that like everyone on your podcast listening right now with a business, you have things within you.

Gifts, things that matter to you, passions that are extremely relevant in how you build your business, not only in how you market or who you work with or your business model, right?

But just to say, I think that yes, we want to learn from other people and we absolutely have to get to know ourselves and be grounded in ourselves.

And as we’re building our business, we have to make sure we’re building our business. And not the business that someone else thinks that we should build. and I think even what you said right there, I don’t know that it’s necessarily that people are like, I know better than you much as it is.

Amy: What 100% worked for me. And if you’re going to hire me, why wouldn’t you just replicate what I’ve done. And so, I don’t even think that it’s like I know how you should build your business. And like we’re advocating that responsibility as much as I don’t know what I should be doing.

I don’t know how to answer those questions for myself and hears somebody saying, Just follow what I did. Do this. Yeah, do this. Yeah. Makes sense. When you’re brand new and you don’t know where to start, but so many times, and you and I have seen it so many times and people end up sitting in a business that they’re looking around going, what is this?

Molly: What is this? I end up here. Yes, and I think that, and there’s value in and merit in learning from someone and someone saying, hey, do these things and give this a try. I think there’s value in all of it, but I think that and really. As you mentioned I became a coach, right? And I started training coaches and I wanted to train.

Molly: I really loved the coaching mastery aspect of it. I still do this in my business today. And so because of that I was always immersed in working with so many coaches. And as I would work with these coaches up close and personal, I would see this big conflict in them where they were struggling to build their business the way that in their mind, they didn’t articulate it this way, but like the right way, right?

And they would look at someone who had a business that was at a certain income level or looked a certain way, and they would think that’s what they were supposed to do. And what I would find is I would coach with them, and this is I’m speaking not only to a business that’s unique to you, but a life that’s unique to you.

So I remember one client in particular I’m coaching with her, and she just kept having this conflict and this frustration and it’s like, I want to build this business, I want to do this thing. And every time we stopped and asked her some questions, we realized she truly was trying to build someone else’s business.

She was looking at someone and thinking, I need to have the same business they have. But she didn’t want that business. She wasn’t interested in the same level of commitment to the business. And when I say commitment, meaning I really mean the same number of hours, having that business take up that much space in her life, she didn’t want that at all.

She wanted a certain quality of life and she wanted to coach, but she didn’t want what this other person wanted. And this was for me, a really big light bulb moment for me. And I saw this again and again in my coaches. And this actually was really where my coaching program was born, where I was helping coaches to identify who they were as a business owner, who they were as a coach, and what they wanted in their life. And now we build that. And guess what? We can get rid of all the conflict and the resistance and everything. Because you’re building something that is what you actually want.

Amy: Yes. And I’m going to hammer this point home so many different times just around, I think where coaches lose track is they don’t know how to answer the questions of what they want. So, when somebody comes along and says, Hey, let’s do this. They’re like, okay, what do you even mean? And I think this is what can we be on the lookout for. How do we know when we don’t know, it’s one of these interesting things, of like, I don’t know what I don’t know. I don’t know what questions I should even be asking myself. When I’m looking at these. It doesn’t even occur to us.

Molly: Because we’re programmed to you go to school, you get a job, like these are the things you do and you just fit in this box. And we learn how to take orders and follow rules.That’s what we do. So then when we start our own business, I think that it can be we don’t even know what it looks like to think about creating a business that’s totally unique to us where anything is possible, it just doesn’t even occur to us.

Amy: And to me, even like me seven, eight years ago, you say that to me, I actually feel overwhelmed.

Molly: Yeah. What does that mean? How I even under, I don’t even understand the question, right? I sounds like this is a good idea, but I don’t know where to begin. So here’s what I’ll say, and this goes for any program I ever do, whether it’s advanced coaching or business-focused anything, the first thing we do is what is your ideal life business vision?

And for your listeners, just in a practical sense, give yourself the time without any pressure. Like you don’t have to know the answers or figure this out. Just give yourself the time and space to think if anything could be possible in my life, anything at all, what would that be like? And give yourself space to dream about the unreasonable.

For some people it will be certain monetary things, right? Maybe someone really enjoys a luxury lifestyle. Maybe for someone else, their dream come true is to just go hike in the dirt every day. Or, for someone else, it’s being with certain people in their life, and so that first step is really just, if anything at all, what would my life be like?

So that’s step one with no rules and no judgment.

Amy: Yes, and I think you’ve said a word, you dropped it very casually in there a lot of minds bump up against it, which is being unreasonable. Because circling back around to what you just said, we go to school, everything about our upbringing for most of us, admire the people who did not grow up with the expectation that they should be reasonable, realistic. That’s just not realistic.

And so I think you dropped it in there, like it was not a big deal, but I know so many of my clients go but I got to be real. I can’t be unreasonable. Why not? Why not? And you know what if, cause I know, like you said, we butt up against this and if you’re listening and you might butt up against this, we’re just going to make this little pocket of time where you have permission to not be reasonable.

Molly: Yes. Just for a bit. Just love it. If I could play, if I could imagine, yes, I can go back to reality right in a minute, but right now, what, if anything?

Amy: So good. Giving yourself permission just for the sake of this exercise. It doesn’t have to go anywhere right now. Just for the sake of this exercise, let’s allow ourselves that moment of unreasonableness and unrealisticness.

Molly: Exactly. And the other thing that, I mentioned this, but I’ll just reiterate that we bump up against judgments about what we value. And this goes all over the place because one person might think if I think this way, then I’m supposed to be thinking about luxury, but I don’t care about like luxury in life, but I should be thinking that.

And then it, another view of that is someone could think thinking about luxury or just fun or something expansive that’s so selfish. That’s so meaningless, right? So, we 100% have to drop the judgment. And because not only is it helpful for this exercise, but I’m just going to give a plug for this right now because I really believe this to be true.

The things that you value, that you move toward, if you are able to drop the judgment about those things, you will find that leaning into what calls you and what’s fun for you and what’s enjoyable for you, actually brings out more of who you are.

Amy: So good. Yes. Yeah, 100%.

Molly: So there’s that. I feel like I could go on and on about that, but just consider that, what if the things that you imagine when anything is possible are okay? What if there’s no judgment and you can allow yourself just to go there and dream and expand. So that is step one.

Amy: Yeah. And I think it’s important to realize because even if we ourselves can get over, I can be unrealistic, then our minds go to, but what’s my mom going to say, what are my family members are going to say, what are my friends going to say that’s I can give myself once we get past that, I can give myself permission to be unrealistic. And unreasonable, but then other people will judge me, and I’ve always had this joke of oh, so now we are blaming, we’re just displacing our own judgment onto someone else outside of us, a lot of the time, and so just really seeing, and I’m 100% on board with you, and I don’t think we can belabor this point too much, but that’s really the true expression of yourself.

Molly: It really is. It really is. Like I always I’ll just give you a quick example to illustrate this point is. My daughter, she loves American Girl dolls or she did, she’s 12 now. She’s moved past it, but she was a little younger and she really wanted one and it was like over a hundred dollars. I think she was seven years old. And I could have said, oh, that’s silly. That’s a waste of money, spend your money and time on something more practical. But it was something she wanted and she wanted to earn the money.

So, by allowing space for it to be okay for her to just want something. What happened is she started a life coaching business and she earned the money to get an American girl doll pretty quickly, and so by removing the judgment, it allowed her to think about what she loved about this doll.

It allowed her to get creative about how she would make money. It allowed her to practice with some skills and to be able to really show herself she could do something. And so that’s just one small example. But any of the things that we might have judgment about why we like something or why something matters to us, give yourself some space to explore it, because a lot of good comes out of that. And sometimes we make it harder on ourselves and it needs to be.

Amy: Sure, first of all, can we just, can we all just stop for a moment and be like, holy cow, to have learned that lesson when you are eight, nine years old. Yeah. Cuz I’m going to be 49 this year. I think about 40 years ago if I would’ve understood that. Holy crap.

Molly: I know, right? What a different way to approach life. My daughter and I, we definitely have, I would say we definitely value different things. And so, the things that are important to her and that she wants to spend money on, and stuff are not the things that I would value or spend money on even at her age. And I think that noticing that difference and making space for it in that way allows us sometimes to make space for it for ourselves as well. And I think that what we value and what matters to each of us, it really matters in ways we don’t realize.

Amy: This is such a great conversation. I just had lunch with a friend, a coach friend of mine, she’s not life coach school. She actually graduated through IPEC, but we were both in our 10th year of coaching. We had a really in-depth conversation around how we can really get into a conflict between, I’m here to make money. I’m here to help people.

This is coming up for me right now be because there’s this if I’m here to help people, then am I limiting my belief in my ability to create money in the world? And we historically, as women, have even more dogma buried on top hanging on top of us around our ability and our right to make money.

If I say, I’m here to make money, are we separating ourselves from that life coaching really is a life changing thing for the human beings that we interact with, and are we being too selfish? Will it be either black or white? So I think this goes along with this values conversation that you are bringing up of, everybody’s values will look a little bit different. And also, I think the nuance of them. So how do you help that newer or not so newer coach really figure out what their values are?

Molly: Yeah. I think it has to start with dropping the judgment, for sure. Giving yourself space and permission to be you and to value what you value. So, I’ll tell you that one of the exercises that I’ve done with my clients is we look at a sheet of the, like all the things you could value, right? And so, there was a list of probably like upwards of 40 different words, right?

And they would be things like, integrity, bravery, achievement, like all these good things that they would have to pick their favorite five. And it was amazing how much judgment comes up. Oh, I should be picking kindness and I shouldn’t be picking achievement over kindness.

And so step one for everyone is absolutely, what if there is no judgment? And what if it’s okay that we all value different things in different ways? And what if we can lean into that? So, I know that’s not an exact answer to your question, but that’s really it. You’ve gotta remove the judgment and give yourself permission to pay attention to pay attention to what you love and what matters to you.

Amy: Yeah, because it’s really interesting if anybody thinks that I’m only here to help people, or I’m only here to make money, that one has less judgment. No, because I know so many people who, want to be a person who just wants to help people.

But then, they we’re in such circles where, we really are discussing, patriarchal thinking in our brain. I’m like, but am I not being feminist am enough? Am I not being pro-woman enough? Am I not being pro independent enough? Am I blocking myself from money that could come into my life and that we will feel just as much judgment about that, as well, I’m just here for the money.

Molly: Yes. Here’s what’s so funny about this, right? It’s like how many coaches are there that feel guilty because they’re making money and they’re wondering if they should be more focused on the do-gooder piece of it and then you have people are doing good, that feel guilty and think something’s wrong with them because they’re not making more money. We just always find some new nonsensical way to feel bad and guilty about who we are and what we’re doing.

Amy: So again, all the more reason, and I feel like I, I’m remembering this exercise. I feel like I must have seen you present this exercise in a group before, because I feel like the pick five, I felt mild PTSD for a moment there of being asked to pick five values. And sitting in my own stew of judgment that I wasn’t picking the right, the best ones, noble ones. Yes. The most noble ones. The best ones, yeah. That, that the person sitting next to me would be like, really? You’re going to pick luxury over kindness. What kinda asshole are you?

Molly: Yeah, that’s right. And that’s why we do it. That’s why I want my clients to challenge themselves because coming up against that judgment and giving yourself the space and permission to validate that it’s okay to claim who you are is a big deal.

It’s a big deal because when we can accept, these are the things that I. That’s when it opens up the possibilities of how you lean into that value in your life, how you do impact others, how you do change your own life. So, I think those values and what’s personal to you is like foundational in being able to really build a powerful meaning mission centered business.

Amy: Yes. I feel like we had this conversation because I know I’ve been on your podcast, and you talked about mission centered. This is something that’s like this is a core value for Molly Claire, right? What does that mean? Mission centered?

Molly: It means that you are a coach that is building your business with a personal mission in mind, and that mission is at the core of what you’re doing. It is how you align it is what guides you forward. And I want to make a distinction that it doesn’t mean that the mission of your business is just this specific way that you help people. That can be one, right? So, like I think about one of my amazing clients, Sharon, who helps women overcome chronic fatigue syndrome.

Amy: Hey, she is a mutual client for the two of us. She’s amazing, shout out to Sharon right now. Shout out to you Sharon and your cute dogs. Because she’s a dog lover.

Amy: Yes. I know. I’m like, I know exactly who you’re talking about. She’s fantastic. I worked with her one-on-one a while ago.

Molly: So Sharon, she wants to help these women. That is a huge part of her mission, right? I have another client and she has a mission to build this business. She wants to help, moms with overwhelm and stress, and the driving force for her in her mission in this business is to be able to provide well for her family and to be an example to her kids.

Amy: So interesting because I think some people would think, oh, mission driven, we’re definitely not talking about money.

Molly: And so, I think that the point of the mission piece of it is that we don’t get out of alignment. So, a great example of this would be, I come into this because I love coaching and I feel so amazing about this, and now I’m chasing A million dollar trophy because now all of a sudden I think that’s what I should be focused on, but that’s not really what you care about or want. So, I want to make that distinction that you, a mission centered coach is someone who pays attention to what you want and who you are and what you want to create, no matter what that is, and you move forward to create that.

Amy: And when you said that, and you and I have had a lot of private conversations as well as the conversation that we had in our, our other interview, this is where I noticed I got out of alignment. Is that the driving force within my business was no longer my mission, but it’s almost like getting caught up in a moving train that’s moving forward that you stepped onto and then you’re suddenly like, I’m headed in this direction, and so I think this is the another piece I think it’d be really interesting to talk about is how do you coach people or ask, or what things do you help them figure out?

Is the driving force of my business in alignment with what I’m actually seeking? And it’s not just like everybody else in this room is, this seems to be their driving force, so I guess it should be mine. I had a really great conversation with Mark Butler awhile back about how goals can actually become a form of trying to fit in.

Molly: Yes,  I loved that episode and I remember hearing that part and thinking, Ooh, ooh.

Amy: And I feel like this is the, a very similar thing that we’ll choose. Missions and values or as a way to fit in with the people around us then as what is really.

Molly: Yes. Yes. Okay. So, I have a few things to say about this.

Molly: So if I don’t answer, I wrote the question down. If I get sidetracked, Amy is your job to bring me back in.

Amy: Rather you give us your good stuff than be, than stick to a script.

Molly: But we’ll, I definitely want to answer that question, but I have a couple of things to. One is how interesting it is to think about in my community of coaches, we are focused on making money, right? Making that 10k it’s definitely there, but the probably the community and the vibe and the culture of my program is very much about. Being focused on your mission and having a meaningful business. Right now, as I just said, what that really means is very open, right?

But that’s really the focus. And a couple of weeks ago, we were in a call and we were all talking about remembering what your mission is here. And I had a coach who had a lot of judgment come up for her because she’s like, my mission in this is to make this money for my family, and she had judgment.

And so I just think when you talk about belonging, right? She was hearing from some other coaches that their driving force was the specific transformation they were giving their clients, and so then she’s thinking I should do that too, so that I belong. So it’s just a different flavor of it.

Amy: Whereas I made a driving force to become like an example of what’s possible in terms of making as much money as possible through a life coaching business, and on this train of, 100k 200k, 400k. Let’s strive for that $1 million doesn’t mean that’s not something I want to achieve through my business. But is that the driving force and the mission of my business?

And I think that’s the thing that everyone has to remember is that we do sometimes think of it as black and white, like you were saying, right? Do I care about serving people or do I care about making money?

Molly: You can care, all of it in different ways, but what’s the driving force, right?

Okay. So, I want to share my own example. Going back to this question about alignment. And for me, I love helping my clients. I love the transformation. I get so fired up and excited about it. And I will say that I genuinely feel like I have always done that and stayed aligned and in integrity with serving them at a high level.

Molly: So there’s that, but there’s another piece of my personal mission that I would say is the biggest driver for me, and that is to build a business that allows me time, freedom, and flexibility to be present with my kids. That right there if you want to talk about the thing that’s it.

And so just think about and in as we look at the big picture of this, I am doing good for my clients. I feel good about that. I’m passionate about that. That’s a no-brainer. And the biggest driver for me is partially monetary. It’s focused on something that matters to me in my life and my family.

Amy: Yes. I was going to, just going to say something that came up for me, as you were saying that is I suddenly realize I’m in this position where I’ve just enrolled my youngest child in high school.

And again, I’m my, I’m turning 49 in April, my husband is turning 51 in April. My mission now is different than it was when I started and it’s going to be different in five years because I suddenly like realizing that these humans that occupy so much of my life are going to be gone in a few years.

I suddenly realized, where am I going with this business? Where I thought I was going. I’ve always known how old my children are. I don’t want to be like, I didn’t know that but like the actions of the past year of this is the last thing of eighth grade, and we’re getting my other kid we’re talking about colleges and stuff.

All of a sudden I was like, wait a minute. This mission that I’ve been over here, not only am I not entirely sure I chose it from myself. It also may not actually be what I want in this period, in this moment in my life.

Molly: Totally. And that will really help answer this question that you just asked because I want to get to that and what I’ll say also before I address that is going back to this, what my mission so much of my mission was, right? I started my business when I was becoming a single mom. I grew up a kid of divorce, I was by myself all the time. I always joke that I just changed my own diapers.

I didn’t want that for my kids, right? So that became so important to me and the ways that I have struggled with staying in alignment as I’ve built my business is, I’ve always done a pretty good job of the things that I absolutely have to be a part of, and these are the boundaries I’m going to draw on my business and my life, right? And so I’ve always done that, and yet I think a truer version of my business than what I’ve done much of the time would be working even fewer hours, would be doing even fewer things, does that make sense?

I stayed aligned in many ways and I think I pushed the limit a little bit by trying to get into achieving more, achieving a higher number, and pushing on some things that, that don’t really matter as much to me as the time and relationship and connection with my kids.

And so having said that, I think that that it’s easy for all of us to get a little out of alignment or to have something that is a good part of our trajectory become something that’s valued more than it really should be in the big picture of things.

Amy: That’s probably a better explanation of what I was really experiencing than even, it’s not so much that my mission changed it as much as I want to be able to build that business from an income and stature point of view, because I really do believe that what I have to say is important and deserves to be heard and needs to be heard, and I don’t want all of the stress or all of the responsibility of our family solely on my husband’s, but did that get out of alignment of I only had these kids for a few more years?

Do I want to be going on all of these trips all of the time where I have missed some of my kids’ events, I’ve missed some things because, sorry, I gotta be down in Cabo, or I’ve got to be down here. I’ve missed birthdays, I’ve missed whatever, and now all of a sudden, I’m like, I don’t know that I really want to do that.

Molly: And this goes back to the question of how do you know if you’re in alignment? How do you stay in alignment? And I really think that it is a matter of, first of all, having with clarity what you want in your life and business.

Molly: I’ll go back to that question you asked of what’s the first step, right? It’s okay, like what do I want? If anything’s possible. And then I think also one of the exercises that I highly recommend that your audience does and that I do with my coaches as well, is this space of what are the things I enjoy doing business-wise what are the activities that light me up? Who do I want to be in this space?

So definitely exploration of that and then figuring out how these two worlds fit together and compliment each other. Because way too often we think our life and our business are in conflict or opposition, and they’re actually not at all. They should come together in a beautiful way.

I think first, having the clarity in that and really being clear in your mind and on paper and everywhere what you want to create, and then the key is just revisiting it again and again. Every time you set your goals, every time you do your plan, this is why I’m here. I’m building this business so I can be with the people I love in my life. It’s that reconnection that I think allows you to stay more on track.

Amy: I think that part right there, is probably more where I got out of alignment than anything was just not revisiting. I did that work years ago. I’m good. I know where I’m going.

Molly: You know what’s so funny? I remember that. I had a partnership business with my sister, and we did a lot of this values work in there with our clients and we were going to a business mastermind event and just knowing that there’s going to be so much focus on this new method and that new method and making money, which is all good. It’s all good. But we both, we were talking about doing an event like the night before for our coaches that would be there. And we talked about, we need to just prepare them. We need to have some time to help them like remember who they are and remember what they want so that they can take all of this in within the framework and lens of the way that it appeals to them, so they don’t get caught up in what everyone’s doing and what they’re supposed to be thinking.

And so I just remember us feeling this sense of wanting to take care of our people and hey remember who you are and what you want, so you don’t get, swept up in a life of chasing. a dream that you don’t really care about.  

Amy: If you’re listening to this, no matter where you are on your business, if you’re brand-new coach. I have a lot of listeners who actually been coaching for years. It’s never too late, and I hope that I’m even an example of it’s never too late to stop and say, I’m not sure I’m headed in the direction that I want to be heading, I haven’t checked in with myself for a while, let me redo that. And when I don’t know, is bravery the right word? To be able to trust yourself enough that what you know to be true is the best answer.

Because that really and I want to also offer that we think, I’m sure you might have a lot to say on this. We think looking at other people and making sure that our values and our mission is fitting in with everyone else is the easier route because we won’t have to, we won’t have to experience that judgment of others of going a different path. And it might be for the short term. And everybody’s short term is a different amount of time, but it will catch up with you. Because you living and I love how you talk about your business is a reflection of your life, and your life is part of your business. You operating in a way that is not in what is truly most valuable to you, you can fake it for only so long before you will definitely feel a consistent, regular incongruence. That is hard. Is than experiencing the potential judgment of others that you want to do something different.

Molly: And I might even say, it’s almost scarier to own who you are and what you want if it’s different from other people, because that’s out there and that’s present. It’s visible. And I think everyone that’s listening, all these coaches here if you found yourself stuck and frustrated in your business, Take a step back and do this and find out, yes, who am I? What do I want?

What is my life that I want? Because I see a couple of things. I either see people who, because there’s a lack of alignment they self-sabotage in ways that they don’t realize. So they’re not making any movement forward because they’re not in alignment to begin with. And a part of them is no, don’t do this.

And the other thing that I see is that you’re out of alignment and you may be having that external progress, right? So it may seem like you’re moving forward, but this thing that you’re describing where you’re still not happy and you feel that like crunchy conflict. It’s not what I’m wanting it to be.

Amy: If everybody could see this video where both like our hands are like ringing and our face, it’s almost a visual more than even words. It just, it feels like this grinding weird, it’s two sheets of metal rubbing up against you.

Molly: It is each other inside your body. I know this would be some good entertainment. They can all see the video cause we’ll both hand talkers and we’re very excited about this topic, but really genuinely anyone, if you’re struggling and you’re feeling stuck of all the solutions that you may be searching for, just take a minute.

Remember who you are and what matters to you and what you want for your life and the things that you know, light you up. And I just think the more we self connect and the more we give ourselves permission to be who we are and love who we are. That’s the key. That is, you talked about us chatting on this about what’s foundational for coaches. It’ this, there’s a whole bunch of other things, right? But if you have this, you have a lot going for you.

Amy: Originally the topic from Molly was what are the foundational things that all coaches need, we’ve just been having so many values and missioned based conversations outside of this interview that yes, there are business basics we can all learn, there are, resiliency skills that we can build that all coaches need your ability to test and tweak and your willingness to fail, just business basics, foundational basics off the top up of my head, but giving value ahead of time and, sharing, marketing is coaching and coaching is marketing.

But this right here. You really knowing what is the driving force. I’ve always had trouble with mission statements, but that phrasing right there really helps me so much. Oh, it’s the driving force. It’s the reason that I am here doing this, it’s the thing that’s driving the train, it’s the fuel for the business, and then the values idea of just picking five.

Molly: And I think that like even if your listeners were able to forget picking from a list, take the time to write down five words you really love, right? Things you really believe in and bring that in and have that be a core of everything you do in your business.

Molly: Courage, collaboration, creation, right? These are just the ones right on off the top of my head, but it’s amazing how just a little bit of time to connect with things that matter to you are a really, not only a driving force for you and your business, but they really help you to steer the path and stay in alignment.

Amy: I’m actually having this memory and I don’t know if kindness was the one that didn’t make it, but it was something along those lines. Yeah. It was a very altruistic value. Yes. And I put fun instead. Yeah. And I remember like having all of this like angsty, like judgment of myself, but if I’m not having fun while I’m doing this, I think originally it was enjoyment and I’ve since changed it to fun.

Like I think during the exercise it was enjoyment, but I was like, not enjoying this. I don’t care if I’m helping anybody because I, am not having any enjoyment, and it actually is a value that’s more important to me if I were to narrow it down, and we’re not going to choose 50 values, we’re going to choose five values.

But again, reiterating that judgment of yourself as to what you view as important. And once you give yourself permission, just know that whether or not other people are judging your values or not is so much less important because, to try to match their values, creates that grinding in congruence either immediately or eight, nine years down the road.

I can tell you that there’s no amount of money in your bank account, and I have so many people go that’s easy to say when you’ve got the money in your bank account. And I’m like having the money there and it’s not even still feeling hollow, but the realization of how hollow it feels, I think this is how I always joke of this is going to date me, but this is like the basis of all True Hollywood Stories on VH1 or behind the scenes, right? Like all these mega superstars who are making all of this money and they’re so miserable but the dollars and the cents are going to fill that space. And it’s not that the money is not important and it can help pay your bills and pay your mortgage, do all of those things. So important. But when that’s your driving mission, without making sure that the other needs that are so important to you are being filled also.

Molly: That’s right. Because in a way it can be so nuanced, right? Because me having a mission to provide well for my kids, for our life. Even to have an abundance of money in our bank account is very different than me having that same goal because I know all these people around me are going to think that I’m really great.

So it’s like the same goal but what’s the driver behind it? So, money, having a money goal and wanting money is not a problem. I don’t say shallow to bring judgment, but like a place that feels shallow for us. Where it feels shallow in us and empty, not that we are a shallow human being for wanting it, but that yes, that goal feels shallow. It’s not rooted, it feels like there’s a hole there that you’re somehow trying to fill.

Amy: All right. Do you have anything else you want to share with my amazing people?

Molly: I would just say if you’re here and you’re starting this business, or you are continuing this business, there’s a reason that you started it. And I don’t know what that reason is for you, but I know that whatever that reason is, it matters to you, so don’t give up.

If it matters to you, take the time to remember why you started. Give yourself the space to really appreciate that about you and decide how you will always stay the course in what you want to create no matter what happens.

Amy: So good. All right. So, Molly, how can my amazing listeners connect with you?

Molly: The Masterful Coach Podcast is a great way to, for them to follow me and listen. And you can just find me@mollyclaire.com. I work with coaches on advanced certification, of course, for those that have a mom niche, which I love that space, and I help coaches to make that first and next 10k and really work on some of this foundational stuff.

Amy: So good. What’s your Instagram handle? It is @MollyClaireCoaching.

Amy: So when you guys are listening to this, I would love it if something landed that you needed to hear, tag me and Molly on Instagram or in your stories and let us know so that we can connect with you.

Molly: And I know Amy and I both really have such a desire to help you all, and so the more we can hear what lands for you or where you’ve gotten stuck and what helps you, it just helps us to know what else you all need to hear right now.

Amy: Yes, 100%. What do we need to talk more about because we are both having these conversations. Molly, I have enjoyed this so much. I appreciate you so much and I appreciate that you and I both are just kinda here’s the topic we decided on, but we’re going to talk about this instead today.

I think it happened when you interviewed me too. I know we were going to talk about this, but we’re going to go on this trade over here and it was a blast. So enjoyable. Thank you so much for being here.

Molly: Thank you so much, Amy.

Amy: Okay, coaches, I promised it was going to deliver and it did. I really loved Molly’s conversation around what you really value and dropping the judgment of yourself and your business and this is what we know on paper, and yet we get so wrapped up into it. We’re like yeah. I know don’t judge myself.

What are my values? But we will skip by that. Or we’ll do it once and then like we think we can set it and forget it and we can’t. We need to revisit it. All of the time. What is your drive? What is your driving force? What is important to you? No one else can run your coaching business coach.

I want the spaces that you are in with me to be spaces where you realize you have full autonomy and agency for yourself and for your business. And I will never force my values onto you because then you won’t be running a business that’s yours and anybody selling you different. I don’t know. Let’s just say they ate me.

That’s not what you’re going to get. Okay. I am so excited to have brought this to you today. I can’t wait to hear what stuck out to you. You know what? You don’t have to do this at all, but if you’re listening and it’s vibing with you, I would love it if you tagged me and Molly and your stories on Instagram or wherever you are, and I just can’t wait to hear.

I just can’t wait to see what you create in this world, and I’ll talk to you next week.

Coach, it’s time to sign your first free client, your first paid client, your next client, and to learn how to do it consistently and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way. This is exactly what you’re going to do in Free to Paid Coach. It’s the only program giving you step-by-step what to do to become a paid coach and step-by-step how to handle the roller coaster emotions that come with doing what you need to do to become a paid coach.

 

If you know you can’t not do this life coaching thing, but believing that you can do it, handling rejection and remembering how to do all of those things shuts you down, the Free to Paid Coach Community is waiting for you. Find everything that you’re looking for inside. It’s only $1,000. Payments are available, and then you’re in forever.

Visit www.amylatta.com/ftpc to join us right now. See you inside. Let’s get paid, coach.

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Coaches Podcast. I invite you to learn more. Come visit me at amylatta.com and until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.

 

 

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