Listen in this week as I offer 3 things you need to know to actually believe in something you’ve never done before. I’m showing you what this process of learning looks like, why it’s an ongoing practice, and how to actually get to the place where you believe in the possibility of doing something brand new.
You are listening to episode 65 of The Confident Coaches Podcast, the one where you’re going to learn how to believe you can do what you’ve never done. Let’s go.
Welcome to The Confident Coaches Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to do your best work as a life coach. If you want to bring more boldness, more resilience, and more joy to your work, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Amy Latta. Let’s dive in.
Hello, hello my confident coaches. How are all my Latta loves doing out there? I’m doing pretty fabulous, my friends. I’ve just come out of four days of masterminding with my coach, Stacey Boehman. Three of those days were as a mentor and kind of a sitting back in the 200K mastermind that she runs.
And then we had our first ever, on the fourth day, our first ever two-million-dollar group mastermind. So this is my million-dollar mastermind. It’s me and 11 other coaches working with Stacey. So there’s 13 of us total. And just being in a room for – I think we met for nine hours.
Obviously, it was a virtual room and just masterminding with one another, figuring out all the things that we are going to do to build our million-dollar coaching businesses. And friends, when you can mastermind with other people with common goals, I am telling you, the value of the thinking in those rooms will elevate you just by being in there.
It is so good. I highly recommend it. And hey, I might know some people. I don’t know, I might know yours truly who offers a kind of mastermind like that. I have to tell you, when you get all of those brains together, all of the thinking is elevated and elevated thinking is what creates confidence and creates more value in the world when you work on your thinking.
Anyway, so I’ve just come out of that huge, huge goals for this year. And really, here’s the interesting thing; simplifying what I’ve been doing in order to get there. I will be introducing one new thing, one new way for all of you to work with me. So I am pretty excited about that, so you’re going to have to stay tuned.
And speaking of working with me, this podcast – here’s one thing I want to offer everybody. If you just listen to this dang podcast, if you just tune in every week, you will get so much value. This podcast is a way that I share all of the things that I share with my clients with you guys.
So even if you never do make it into one of my masterminds, just know that just coming here and listening every week and getting so much value from these concepts will elevate your thinking just right there. You want to get there faster and further, then join in one of the masterminds. But just listening to this podcast works.
And I want to share with you a review on Apple Podcasts that was left for me by Amanda Sankey. Hi dear. Oh my gosh, I love this review that Amanda has left for me. So the title of the review is, “Amy’s words have transformed my business.”
And this is what Amanda has to say about The Confident Coaches Podcast. She wrote, “Listening to Amy’s podcast has helped me beyond measure. Her words have assisted me in unblocking my behaviors and no longer entertaining the thoughts that have kept me from creating the business I wanted. Since discovering this incredibly raw, insightful, and direct channel of wisdom, I have quadrupled my most impactful actions, overcome my fear of doing Facebook Lives, and am regularly making so many more offers to help my clients. I feel like a different person. If you are a coach that can’t seem to overcome self-sabotage and lack of self-worth, you are in the right place. Get ready for some magic. And PS, Amy, I cannot thank you enough, I cannot wait to work with you in a mastermind soon. Amanda.”
This review right here my friends is exactly why showing up every week, week in and week out, why I keep doing this work right here, Amanda hasn’t paid me one dang cent and look what she’s already created. That’s what I mean by getting together with people and figuring out how to elevate your thinking because when you elevate your thinking, you will put that value out into the world and just know that so many people – I didn’t even know who Amanda was until the end of December. And now we are now running in the same circles and I’ve met her. She was already getting so much value.
So today’s podcast episode is a follow up from last week. Last week’s episode we talked about how to unbelieve. And then there was a little bit of a cliffhanger at the end there, like hold on, there’s some how to believe stuff to follow up on, and that’s what we’re doing today.
Because something that came out of a training I did a couple weeks ago, which is how I met Amanda, which is how she discovered the podcast, or maybe it was the other way around. I actually don’t even know. One of the things that came out of running that training quite a few weeks ago was the comments that were left about I don’t know how to believe what I’ve never done before.
And so I want all of you out there to really think about this question right here. Do you believe you can do what you’ve never done? Because it’s really important to acknowledge whether or not this is a struggle that you have.
Just today, I was coaching one of my clients in my brand-new January group and she goes, “Amy, I want to believe. I want to be two feet all in, and I’m taking the actions, I’m doing the things, but I got to be honest, I really just don’t believe that I can do it and I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do, I don’t know how I’m supposed to believe something that I don’t actually believe. You’re telling me I’m going to have to feel uncomfortable, so then I start to feel uncomfortable and that feels terrible and I don’t think I really want to do that. The bottom line is I just don’t think I can really do it.”
And my question first and foremost is like, so freaking what? Literally – we’ve talked about this. Literally everything that’s ever been done in the world had at one point never been done before. Doing what you have never done before is what humans do.
Your entire life is made up of things that at one point you had never done before. So when you tell me I can’t believe I can do what I’ve never done before, I literally want to say bullshit. Bullshit. Yeah, you can. Your entire life is made up of what you’ve never done before.
Did you know how to walk before you could walk? Did you know how to ride a bike before you could ride a bike? Did you know that you could be a good parent before you gave birth to that baby? Did you know that you could plan a dinner every night for every day of every year for the rest of your life?
Your entire life is believing you can do what you’ve never done before. And what we did last week, because we found all of the thoughts as to why you don’t believe, why you aren’t confident in marketing or selling or coaching. And we introduced the possibility that you could start believing some new things, and that’s what you’re going to discover today. That’s what we’re going to talk about today.
And it starts with just acknowledging that yes, I actually can believe what I’ve never done before. And as soon as you feel the resistance to that, just looking at your entire life and acknowledging everything that you’re currently doing and everything that you do, literally every single thing that you do from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed is something that you never used to be able to do before.
So as soon as your brain says I just can’t believe it, I want to offer you, actually yes, I can. And that’s how I want you to enter this episode right here is with the energy of actually, yes, I can believe. My entire life is an example of how that’s possible.
So first and foremost is understanding that your belief needs to answer your disbelief. So that’s what we did all of last week. In last week’s episode of here’s all the stuff that I don’t believe. You can’t just slap someone else’s thoughts on and expect them to work for you. That’s just like positive affirmations and they don’t work.
So you don’t believe you can sign a client and you’re going to answer with, “Yes, but there are a million clients out there.” And that thought doesn’t help you. Here’s the thing; here’s actually the irony is that actually sometimes it does work. If that thought you’re repeating actually answers an area of disbelief for you.
So it’s not that positive affirmations never work, but they only work if they’re answering a specific disbelief that you have. Because your brain has its Helga side, your inner cavewoman whose entire purpose is to keep you safe. And she will use sneaky means to keep you safe, including telling you that you suck. That’s very, very common.
But your brain also has its Gigi side, your inner evolved woman, that part of you that dreams what’s possible, that knows what you’re capable of, that you’re capable of great things, that believes you can actually do the impossible, that believes you can do what you’ve never done before.
And these two parts of your brain are kind of like your sisters. They’re always going to be with you. They love you; they want what is best for you. They just have very different ways of showing it.
So you’re never going to get rid of Helga, you’re never going to get rid of that part of your brain that says I can’t believe what I’ve never done before. You’re also never going to get rid of Gigi. You’re never going to get rid of that part of your brain that says actually, we can totally believe what we’ve never done before. They’re going to be with you forever.
Your work is learning how to listen to the two of them in the right time. They’re always talking to you and to each other. So when you’re slapping on other people’s thoughts as you own, that’s like Helga yelling one thing and Gigi answering back with something that has nothing at all to do with what Helga is saying.
That’s like Helga saying I’m a terrible coach and I never know what to say and none of my clients get results anyway. And then Gigi’s responding with, “But clients can happen in an instant.” And you’re there like, who cares if clients can happen in an instant? I’m with Helga on this one.
So there’s a classic example of we’re reading somebody’s evaluation of their coaching call or you’re following another life coach and they’re telling you all of their amazing, positive thoughts that help them create this amazing result in your life.
And you’re like, oh, I’m going to take their thoughts and I’m going to practice believing them and I will create the same results too. No, you probably won’t. I mean, maybe you will, but only if the positive thoughts that they are thinking are answering your negative thoughts. Only if their belief thoughts are answering your unbelieve thoughts. You picking that up?
So imagine your two sisters talking to you about your marketing or your selling or your coaching. Helga’s telling you how terrible everything is and Gigi, with so much love and understanding needs to say, “I hear you, but it’s possible that this other thing is true too.” Your intentional powerful Gigi thoughts need to be an answer to your crappy doubt-creating thoughts.
So the second thing about learning how to believe is you can’t just think the thought and keep it in your head. You got to believe in your bones. So you run your Helga thought model, you see what it creates for you, you see how it doesn’t serve you, and then you decide that you want to believe something else. You find that Gigi response to your Helga thought. And then you run that model and you see what that pretty little model with the little pretty bow on it does.
And you’re like, great, I did the pretty model, now I believe. No, you don’t. You can’t just find the happy thought, put it in a coaching model, see what it creates and think that your work is done. Because you didn’t do the body work. You didn’t believe in your bones. You just set a thought in your brain, which is very different than believing in your bones.
Too many coaches love the T line and the A line of a thought model and completely skip the F line. The T line is this is what I need to think, the A line is here’s what that thought is going to spur all of this action, but you’re skipping the line in the middle, which is the feeling. The thought spurs feeling. The action comes from the feeling. Not from the thought.
The F line, the feeling line, that’s where the magic happens. You have to believe and you have to feel it in your bones. Breathe it in. Let it settle into your gut. Feel that belief, not just think it in your head and expect it to take. Believing doesn’t work like that. Believing only works when you feel the emotions of the thoughts you’re learning how to believe. Believing only works when you sit in your belief.
And I teach you exactly how to sit in your belief inside Confident Coaches Mastermind. It’s actually a very specific model that you learn. Like step one, say it here, step two, breathe it into your belly. It’s a very specific practice that I teach you and that you learn inside the mastermind.
And then the other thing that you need to remember about how to believe is that belief work is not one and done. Learning how to believe new things is like planting a garden in the springtime after a day’s rain. I use this gardening analogy all of the time, so if you’ve heard it before, you’re like, she’s going to be talking about muddy hands again. Here comes Amy and her muddy hands.
Yeah, it’s the muddy hands analogy. So think about this. So first of all, this podcast episode is coming out the first week of February. It’s a couple months before we get to plant anything, but you can kind of already start to imagine that it’s springtime, it’s been raining, but it’s a great day to plant some flowers.
And the flowerbed is muddy, but you got to get those flowers planted today. You don’t want them sitting in the plastic carriers that you pick them up from the garden center. How many times are you willing to dig in the mud, plant those flowers, stop what you’re doing, go wash your hands off when they get too caked thick, just to dig right back in?
How many times a day are you willing to sit in belief, go out there, start making decisions and taking that next best step, get your hands dirty, and then take a break when you start to feel yourself slipping from belief and go sit back in belief again?
A confident coach knows that the answer is as many times as it takes. If you’re planning a garden and you have one day to get everything in the ground and you’re digging in a muddy flowerbed, as soon as your hands get too caked up, you’re going to have to go rinse them off, your hands, you’re going to dig them right back into the dirt and you’re going to keep going.
And you’ll come back and wash them, and then you’ll come back and start digging. And then you’ll go back and wash them, and then you’ll come back and start digging. And you will do that process as many times as you need to in order to get all of those seeds planted. That is what you need to do when it comes to your belief, my friends.
You can’t just say the happy positive Gigi thought in the morning, say it out loud, and then go out into the world where Helga’s going to be bringing all of the doubt back up to the surface and be like, well, I’m starting to feel my belief slip but I sat in it this morning and I believed it this morning. Maybe it’s not working. Maybe that’s not the right belief.
No, you just need to go wash your hands. You just need to bring yourself back up into belief as high as you can again, and then go back out there and make another decision and go make another Facebook Live.
And then somebody’s going to comment negatively on your Facebook Live or on your post, and you’re going to start to feel your belief start to slip again. Helga’s voice is just going to get a little bit louder, but this does not have to be a problem. You go back, you go wash your hands again.
And how many times every single day are you willing to do that? To find the Gigi thoughts of belief that answer your Helga thoughts of disbelief. To sit in the belief of those thoughts, actually sit and marinade in the feelings of the emotions of those thoughts and then go do and go act from that place of high emotion.
Allow your Helga brain to get loud again and come back and do it again. And back and forth and back and forth. Here’s the thing; those of you who are saying I’m not willing to do that, then you aren’t willing to do the work of belief. Bottom line, just admit that part. But know this now, that is what that looks like. That is what how to believe looks like. That’s how you believe you can do what you’ve never done before right there.
You know, another mastermind might teach you the how-to of sales, or the how-to of marketing, or the how-to of coaching. This podcast right here, this mastermind, Confident Coaches Mastermind that I offer you, it is the how-to of believing you can do what you’ve never done before.
That’s the work right there, my friends. Are you willing to do that? Those of you who are like, I just do my belief work in the morning as part of my morning routine, you haven’t actually been doing the work of belief throughout the day, day in and day out.
And yeah, does it feel a little tedious at first? I mean, a little bit, but only because it’s not a habit that you’ve built. When you start doing it regularly, it doesn’t feel like the starting stopping, starting stopping. It becomes a very natural process.
And I taught you last week about applying possibility to your Helga thought and to come up with some Gigi thoughts. It’s possible that that doubt that came up last week isn’t true. What is possible in response?
So Helga might say I’m so far behind, Gigi might say I’m in the best place to learn the next thing I’m supposed to learn. Helga might say everyone else has this figured out but me, Gigi might respond I’m creating the path that works best for me and how I operate.
Helga might say I’m going to fail, this is never going to work, Gigi might respond with you know what though, every step I take I learn a little bit more and I get a little bit further. Now, this is the kind of work we specifically do inside the mastermind so I just want you to practice this. Just give it a try and see what you come up with.
What do you want to believe instead? And then you go and you sit in the belief of that. I want to invite you to really get into the feeling of those beliefs. Don’t just say them in your brain. Actually go into your body and describe what it feels like and actually feel the emotion of that thought.
And then no matter how many times a day you find yourself falling out of belief, you can bring yourself back in a moment by sitting in that belief. I’ve done previous podcasts on sitting in belief before. I don’t need to take you through that practice. We do it extensively inside the mastermind and I’ve talked about it here on the podcast before.
This is the act of gardening in the mud. Getting to work, getting dirty, cleaning up, only to dig back in again. Now inside the mastermind, these are the concepts of trying thoughts on and sitting in belief. We also learn emotional strength training, the emotional scale, becoming truly skilled at feeling the emotions of all of our thoughts that are triggered, and not being afraid of them anymore, even the uncomfortable ones like defeated and shame.
Honestly, Confident Coaches Mastermind really teaches you to become a feelings ninja. You cannot skip the feeling line. That really is what belief is. It’s not just a sentence in your mind. It’s a feeling in your bones that’s going to drive the action that you need to do, and your willingness to bring that belief as high up as you can, as many times during the day as you need to until you create the result that you want.
Because I’m going to tell you this right now. When you become a feelings ninja, there is nothing, nothing more confident than a human unafraid of feeling any of their feelings. Alright my friends, okay, that’s what I got for you this week. You know what, I can’t wait to see what you guys create. And remember, until next week, let’s go do epic stuff.
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