What if You are the hater in the room?
The Worthy Mindset – August 8, 2016
We’ve talked a lot about arguing, other people’s opinions, haters…here’s another side of the coin we rarely want to talk about! What if you are the hater?
Watch, let it sink in, share with others who need to hear it.
We’re still friends, promise.
#WorthyMindset #WeightLoss #Wellness #SelfCare
00:14 Amy: Good morning, everybody. This is Amy Latta with your weekly Worthy Mindset video. And for a little while now I’ve been talking a lot about the haters in your life, the trolls, the people who seem to attack at you, tear you down or whose just sheer presence in a room, you can just kinda feel negativity coming at you. And I’m not talking about negative people in general, I’m talking about the toxic people in your life. And I spoke recently about how the fact that somebody who is toxic to you could very easily be someone else’s BFF; that toxic people in your life aren’t necessarily good or bad but they don’t just mesh with you. They just aren’t your people and that it’s okay that when we view each other, even our haters, even our enemies, even the people on the other side, when we view them as inherently worthy, we can show compassion towards them and their influence is not as strong. So here is the flipside of that, here is where we take that mirror and we turn it around and I ask you, “Who are you a hater to?” “Who are you the toxic person to?” “Who in your life do you bring that negativity on?”
01:28 Amy: And I’m gonna pause here for a second because right now, it’s very likely that you’re going, “Huh? What? I don’t think so, Amy. That’s not me.” But the fact of the matter is very few of us can probably claim that we have never actively sought to tear someone else down. We have never actively gossiped about someone either to their face or in a group of other people that we have not stepped into a conversation to publicly help lynch someone else, or that there’s not someone in our life that we wouldn’t happily help bring down because of, who knows, all number of reasons. And this is not something that we want to admit. This is not something that we wanna say, “Oh yeah, absolutely. I’m a toxic person to so and so.” But I want you to stop and take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Have I done that?” Own that. Here is a certain thing about being an emotional child versus being an emotional adult. This is idea that we don’t take emotional responsibility for ourselves and that we often take that out on another person. I myself have done this before and it’s not something we’re like, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve done that,” and you’re proud of it or anything like that.
02:40 Amy: We just don’t even realize that we’re doing it because we have all kinds of validation for doing that. “But they did this. They deserve this. They deserve being torn down. They are inherently evil. There’s something wrong with them. They did this to me first.” And so then we actively or we see that as a reason to actively tear them down in some way but here is the problem with that: That is not being an emotional adult, that is being an emotional child. That is not taking responsibility for our own thoughts and our own emotions. And the bottomline is, is everybody in the world has a hater of some kind. There is a good chance that a significant number of inherently good people are a hater to someone else. The first step is just acknowledging that we’ve done that and stopping it. Take emotional responsibility, realize that you have the power to change that right now, today. And whether or not you actively seek that person out and apologize to them or make amends, that is completely and totally up to you but the real power lies in acknowledging that you’ve even done this before and that you have the power to make it stop.
03:52 Amy: And this is so key to our wellness and our health journey because when we are not taking emotional responsibility for ourselves, we tend to take it out on our own bodies. This is what leads us to overeat, this is what leads us to over-drink, this is what leads us to not take care of ourselves because our internals know that inherently this is not good. Because while we may have a lot of validation and vindication, and maybe even an entire cheerleading section going, “Oh yeah, that person deserves to be taken down”, we may have that behind us but we know in our hearts that because every single person on this planet has inherent worth, no one, not even the person on the other side of the aisle deserves to be torn down. So it’s okay if this requires you to take a little time to process. No one likes to admit that they’re the bad guy but understand that every good guy has a bad guy and sometimes it’s us.
04:46 Amy: So I realize that this week’s talk may require you to take a deep breathe, go outside for a long walk, argue with me for a little bit if you need to, take a deep breath and then stand up and take responsibility for your own freaking emotions. Understand that there is an a-hole in every room and sometimes that a-hole may be you. So other people’s opinions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. That everybody in your life, sometimes they may be a hater, but that hater can be some one else’s BFF, it’s just not your… They’re just not your cup of tea, they’re just not your people and that in a room full of people be yourself, show up as yourself 100% all of the time, every single day securing your own worth. But guys, don’t be an ass.
05:30 Amy: So if you’re still listening to me, if you haven’t shut me off, if you still think I’m an okay swell person, I invite you to talk to me a little bit about the influence of negative people in your life and the possibility of you being a negative person in someone else’s life with a free mini session where we talk about owning your own emotions, where we talk about how your thinking can lead to your emotions and that’s what’s getting the results in your life. This is such powerful work. I invite you to spend some time with you with a free mini session. You can schedule it online with me. And while you cogitate on this weeks topic for the week, know that I’m thinking about you. I love you guys, and I will see you right here next week.