The one where we talk about the magic of starting the love affair with your body now, before you hit your goal weight.
To view the show notes, ask a question, or leave a comment, visit www.AmyLatta.com/BWLW32.
Episode Show Notes:
So much in our life has taught us to compare ourselves to others and to strive to a perfect body. Fact is, that perfection isn’t even real, and comparison is just the thief of joy and totally not worth your precious brain energy.
Instead of hating ourselves thin – using fear and anger and sadness to drive our healthy eating and exercise – we learned to love ourselves thin. Loving everything our body does for us and how it makes us strong. First. Now. No waiting.<
What You Will Learn:
- How the outside world manipulates our view of our own bodies
- The underlying belief many of us carry that reinforces our dislike of our bodies
- How to love your body starting today
- Four parts of my body that I used to not love, but learned to – and how I did it.
Create a list of at least three body parts that you do not like, and then what makes those body parts awesome. What they do for you, what they allow you to do, how they make you strong, how they make you unique.
List of how your body is awesome. At least three things. I did four in this episode – thighs, stomach, arms, and feet.
This can be an emotional exercise, and you will likely feel resistance – anger, sadness, etc.
Take a deep breath and know that this discomfort cannot hurt you.
If you struggle, you can borrow what I wrote about my four body parts.
Ready to take the next step:
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(Music) Welcome to Business Women Losing Weight, a community for fabulous women small business owners so laser focused on building their businesses….they have been sacrificing their health! Together we’re going to get back your time and energy, reconnect with your lust for life, and teach you to live naturally thin.
I’m your host, Amy Latta, and I’m all in! Are you comin’ with me? Let’s take care of you so you can take care of business!
Hello my Sisters! How are you this week? I hope it is fabulous, and if it’s not fabulous, I hope a few minutes with me today will lift your spirits!
If you have not already, I invite you to join the Business Women Losing Weight Facebook community. Because no matter how your week is going, there is a group of other fabulous business women who have your back! Just search Business Women Losing Weight on Facebook, and you’ll find us!
I also link to the group in the show notes. Cannot wait to see you there!
Because for real, this journey is not always an easy one. If it was, everyone would have an amazing relationship with food and with their bodies and all be living naturally thin. I can tell you without a doubt, that is not life in America today!
And we are doing this different around here, not beating ourselves up when we fall, not striving for perfection. This is not your Mom’s weight loss group! Ha!
One thing that has been important to me the entire time I have been health coaching, over five years now, is learning to love your body first. My first talk I ever gave, on stage, in front of people, was on the importance of a positive body image when trying to lose weight. I cried, the audience cried, it was awesome!
But for many in the audience, it was the first time they had heard that there was nothing wrong with their body. And I’ll say it again, to you, now.
There is nothing wrong with your body.
Now, many of you, your mind immediately responded, “Yes there is.” Because we have believed, for so long, that there is something, maybe even many things, wrong with our body.
So I will say it again.
There is nothing wrong with your body.
And here is how I know this to be true, even if you do not believe it.
First of all, what are you even comparing it to? Most bodies do not actually look like you think they do. “Amy, are you telling me that my eyes are lying to me!”
Well, your eyes may be lying to you a little bit, but the world is definitely lying to you.
Advertisers are the worst. And I say this as a former corporate marketer who helped created ad campaigns!
It is really important to understand that all of the images we see in media – the constant bombardment of images we see, from magazines to billboards to pop up ads on our phone.
They are photoshopped. Those models don’t look like that.
Did ya’ll know one of my jobs in my former corporate life was photoshoot produce? I can literally vouch that models don’t look like what they look like.
Yes, they’re beautiful and yes, they are thin, but they are not perfect.
I loved my girls so much, but I can only think of one model I worked with who walked in at call time and actually looked like the woman who would be on the cover. The rest look just like you and me.
They sit in a chair and get industrial grade hair and makeup.
The clothes you see on them are pinned and clipped and tucked.
Maybe even cut up the back.
And that’s just the magic during the photoshoot.
The real damage occurs in post-production.
Smooth facial lines, sculpt that arm, trim down her thigh, put that hair back into place.
All in the magic of a mouse.
And then there’s also the fact that these beautiful, slender women…weren’t necessarily healthy. I remember one model, in particular, was always sick, and the makeup artist had to work hard to conceal the dark circles and sallow skin. She was beating her body up to be thin enough to keep her job. There was nothing healthy about her.
Oh, and the irony about health and the modeling industry, I remember the ones that I believed were actually healthy – took very good care of their bodies, had a healthy body image…often were considered too big to model. I remember being told to never hire that runner again, because we couldn’t fit her thighs into the pants.
So all of that you see and hear, every single day of your life, for the past few decades. It’s not real. And it’s not necessarily healthy.
So now that we know we cannot trust what we see in print and television ads – yes, they can photoshop teevee – what about live TV and in person?
Again, if it’s coming from the advertising and entertaining world, there is typically more than meets the eye. Have you ever followed a celebrity on social media on the day of a big event? They are preparing for literally hours. They’ve dieted the few weeks leading up, they have body painters, and professional stylists and hair and makeup.
Not. Even. Real. Life.
So we have acknowledged that much of what we are comparing our bodies to, isn’t even real.
So let’s address the main part of that sentence I just said.
Comparing our bodies.
Since we were little kids, we have been comparing ourselves to others. I do not know exactly when this starts, but it starts early.
Maybe it’s teachers and parents. Highlighting how awesome little Susie is, and you wishing you got the same attention.
It’s definitely media, once again, with constant images of what they are trying to sell us so we can be happy and cool and well-liked.
I remember my now 18-year-old stepdaughter, when she was only, like four years old, with us on one of our weekends, and she had this halter top, and put it on, and then asked me if I thought she was sexy. EEEHHHH! It was a weird and awkward moment, mostly trying to figure out how a little girl ever learned that was something she should desire.
We learn from a very young age that looking a certain way, that acting a certain way, is very desirable. It helps us fit in, it makes us easier to parent, it makes us easier to teach.
And it can really fuck us up, quite frankly.
So much of not liking your body now has to do with deeply rooted belief systems that you can only be loved or appreciated or applauded if you look and act a certain way. Even if you know intellectually, as an adult, that this is not true, it is ingrained in our culture and into many of our psyches.
So even though it’s not true…your mind is saying…Uh, yeah. It is. I can’t be loved if I am not thin.
Now, we will come back to that in a moment, but my last point on why I know there’s nothing wrong with your body is because of everything that is Right with your body!
God gave you a gift – something inside of you that you are meant to share with the world. Some people have gifts fit for the world wide stage, some gifts are meant for your small family or community. But our job is to share it. The other gift he gave us is this body. He designed this body to do amazing things, and your body does amazing things. No matter how much weight it is carrying around. Not matter how much cellulite, flab, and/or wrinkles it sports.
In that talk I gave, at the Launch Out Conference in Tulsa in 2014, when I stood on stage in front of 60 people, one of the reason we were all crying was because I went down the list of why I love the parts of my body I was supposed to not like.
First of all, understand that I have figured out how to live naturally thin. I have healed my relationship with food. I have learned, for the most, how to stop overeating. I’m no master, but I got it down pretty good.
And I still have cellulite.
I still have flab.
I still have wrinkles and age spots, and boobs that lay down next to me on the bed at night.
In other words, losing weight doesn’t guarantee that perfect body. You know, the one that doesn’t actually exist!
But I can tell you this. In all that cellulite and flab and wrinkles and boobs that hang too low…I love my body.
I had to love my body first before I could get here.
Those chunky thighs – which, I still got! My thighs are disproportionately large for my small frame.
Those thighs have held both my boys at the same time while I read them stories.
Those thighs have carried me hiking and exploring.
Those thighs have helped me stabilize in a beautiful warrior pose in yoga.
That flabby tummy. Honestly, my tummy is relatively flat compared to many. God put all my weight in my butt and thighs. Some women have slender hips, butt, and thighs, and carry all their weight in their stomach. We are all different. My tummy, though relatively flat when standing, takes on an entirely different shape when I bend over. LOL! Oh my gosh, doing a downward dog pose in yoga, and seeing my mommy tummy hang down like utters on a cow. I die laughing!
Because that stomach? That badass held two babies. I built two freakin’ human beings! From scratch! Holy crap! Those are stretch marks, that’s not flab, that’s the markings of a freaking warrior.
And even if you haven’t had children, your stomach holds you up! Your abs, no matter how buried they may be, are strong. They hold you up. They help you stand tall. When the world wants to knock you down, your abs are there saying…”Hey, it’s gonna take more than that to knock me over!”
What else you got? How about my feet! Sisters. My feet are not my best feature. They look like skeletons with skin. I’ve been made fun of my entire life. Well, those feet allow me to walk. They literally hold me up. They help me in tree pose, they allow me to give toe tickles.
Do your arms flap in the wind when you wave? Guess what. So do many of ours! Ha ha ha! What do those flappy arms do for you? My arms can hold by boys. My arms can haul in groceries from the car like a ninja. These arms can walk through the house and pick up all the crap my family has left behind – blankets, books, toys, papers, bags – all at once! And then dump it all at their doors.
I know there is nothing wrong with your body because of all the amazing things your body does for you.
So what if you start showing it love and appreciation, now? Why are you waiting to love your body?
Loving your body now, in all of its perfect imperfections, is a life changer. And it is not giving up or throwing in the towel or saying you don’t care!
It has become so ingrained that we have to hate something in order to change it.
What if you loved something in order to change it?
What if your body doesn’t need fixing, it just needs more love.
We’ve talked about the self-fulfilling prophecy model at length on the show, and this is where it comes into action again.
Your thoughts create feelings create actions create your results.
And positive action is what will get you long-term positive results.
Where do positive actions come from?
And positive emotions come from positive thoughts.
So it stands to reason that if that is how your mind works – and it is. This is a universal truth here!
That if you want long-term positive results, you have to come from a place of positive thinking and emotion.
And hating yourself thin isn’t gonna cut the mustard.
Loving yourself thin will.
When you can focus on what your body does for you and all the ways it loves you and you can love it…I already feel better. I already feel a sense of calm, and peace, and I’m much more likely to happily and lovingly go for that walk or eating that food that fuels my body.
We can all get short terms actions from hating our bodies, but it feels terrible and it’s not sustainable.
But LOVE is always an option and it is sustainable.
Alright. So how do you love yourself thin?
First off, stop with all the media images. You cannot shut them out completely, but be aware of them. How can you limit them.
And remind yourself that it’s not real. Every time your mind starts to feel that comparison, starts to feel a longing for that perfection….you can stop it in its tracks. Give it a EH!
That is not helpful, and it’s not even real.
Next, make a list of what your body does for you. What are the body parts you dislike the least? Just pick three. Find the good in those parts. What do those parts allow you to do? How do those parts make you strong.
Like my thighs and my stomach and my feet and my arms…they all serve a great purpose, no matter what they look like, and are proof there is nothing wrong with my body.
Our minds are always looking for evidence, so create a list of evidence why there is nothing wrong with your body.
Type it into Evernote or a tabbed page in your journal so you can reference it regularly. You’ve spent years thinking it sucked, so especially in the beginning, it takes practice to remember that your body is awesome. No need to beat yourself up that this is your natural way of thinking.
Remember, you’ve been thinking this for a long time. Maybe even since you were a little girl. So along with your list ways your body is awesome, let’s think about a new body thought.
These are power thoughts – we’ve talked about them before in Go-To Thoughts – and they need to be in your own words and your own language. Something that creates a positive vibration in your body, that reassures you.
So instead of “My body is fat, ugly, wrong – or whatever you have always thought, what can you think instead.
My body is exactly what I need it to be.
My body is strong and allows me to live my life.
My personal favorite may be…
“My body does amazing things for me, and I am learning how to love it.”
>What if once a day, for the next month, you said that statement out loud, and then read your list of the three body parts and the amazing things they do for you.
Would that create a shift in your mind?
You think that would stir up some positive emotions and create some positive actions in your life?
And it would only take a minute or two at the most!
And I know, is it’s a hell of a lot better that thinking every single day that your body sucks and is awful. Nothing good comes from that long term.
So what do you have to lose? To just try to love your body first. To love yourself thin.
Last week we talked about making room for pleasure and finding ways that you can love yourself. Here’s another one to add to the list. A two minute a day exercise where you remind yourself your body does amazing things for it, that you are learning how to love it, and the specific ways your body is awesome.
I have a few more ideas, but I think I will save that for next week. This is enough to work on this week, right?
So the action item for this week:
Your list of how your body is awesome. At least three things. I did four in this episode – thighs, stomach, arms, and feet.
This can be an emotional exercise. Expect that it will feel uncomfortable. You’ve likely never done this before, and I can guess you will feel a lot of resistance. Know this now. No need to freak out when it happens. You can even welcome it! Oh, hi, discomfort! Amy said you would join me, and here you are.
That discomfort can’t hurt you, it’s just a vibration in your body. Take a deep breath, and remember that your body does amazing things for you, and you are leaning how to love it, right!
If you struggle, go back and listen to this again and feel free to borrow one of mine. You are safe and you are okay.
Oh, man, this stuff is SO good. It’s such good work and it’s a life changer!
It’s work that I have done with many of my clients, as well as myself! Of course, because I don’t ask you to do anything I don’t do myself!
And the featured woman business owner of the week is one of my one-on-one clients, my friends! I adore Niki Whitham, as I do all my LattaLuvs. I am honored to be the one my clients pour their trust into. And especially when they gush on me like this, ya’ll! Niki wrote: A year ago, I was morbidly obese, my career was non-existent, and I was living in the past. I found Amy online, and she has coached me through so much! These podcasts are a GEM! They give me such perfectly timed content between coaching sessions. What a valuable thing!! And they are FREE?? Get out! Charge for this, lady!!! All the $$$!!! I love you!!!!!! Oh, what’s happening in my life now? I have lost more than 20 pounds, I am winning in BOTH of my businesses, and I got a free trip to Mexico by listening to this smart lady. You should listen to her too! And take notes.”
Um. HELLO. This conversation with Niki made me realize a few things. I know this work we do here on Business Women Losing Weight isn’t just about weight loss. Because doing mindset work doesn’t just change one aspect of your life, it changes all of them. It has to. You are working on YOU, from the inside out.
But to see her business take off because of our weight coaching. Blew Me Away. And her. It’s been amazing! So if you have pets, and you want to feed them only the best, then Niki is your girl. She is an independent PetPro for PawTree, a pet food company. She has earned national recognition in the past year, and she is passionate through and through for pet care. Be sure to connect with Niki, you can find her at Pets Are Foodies Too on Facebook, plus I will link to her business in the show notes.
If you want to be featured in the woman business owner of the week, please leave a review on iTunes and then email me your review title and a little bit about your business. And then I can share what you have written about the show and link to your businesses’ in the show notes.
Because we are building this tribe!
Alright, my Grown Ass Women! I believe in you. Are you ready to take the next step? Download your free Business Woman’s Jump Start to Weight Loss – yours completely free, just go to AmyLatta.com/quickstart.
Join the Business Women Losing Weight Facebook group community, make sure you are Subscribed to the podcast on your podcast app and are downloading all the episodes so you don’t miss any special announcements.
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Alright, you have been listening to Business Women Losing Weight with life and weight coach Amy Latta. And until Next Week…let’s go do Epic Stuff.
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