Episode Show Notes:
We have been taught that joy and pleasure are indulgent at best and must be earned at worst! But I say that learning to live with a lust for life and embracing joy and pleasure every day is the key to living a happy life; and will actually help us meet those Big Hairy Audacious Goals we have been working so hard on! Make time for this, and watch the magic fall into place!
What You Will Learn:
- Why joy and pleasure are important parts of life
- Where joy and pleasure come from
- How to create more joy and pleasure
- How to let go of your belief that you must earn joy and pleasure
Make a list of what brings you joy. Free stuff. Stuff that costs money. Quick and easy. Complicated. And everything in between. Know what brings you joy and pleasure and then make room for something on that list every single day.
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I’m your host, Amy Latta, and I’m all in! Are you comin’ with me? Let’s take care of you so you can take care of business!
Hello, Grown Ass sisters! How is everyone out there today?
We are doing really good! Trucking along in this January of 2018. Did so much thought work around those Big Hairy Audacious Goals. Channeling commitment and belief from other places in my life.
It’s all good.
But I have to confess. I had an epiphany. It was actually an epiphany a full six weeks in the making!
And it goes back to what made me change from being just another health coach to a life coach hell-bent on helping fierce women business owners stop sacrificing themselves and share the God-given gifts inside of them.
It goes back to my dad. I have mentioned it before, and it’s a huge part of my story. My dad and I had a complicated relationship and it was not always sunshine and roses. But we were good in my adulthood and he was a big fan and big supporter, an excellent grandpa, and the one who taught me to fearless in the kitchen.
And when he died suddenly on May 17, almost six years ago, it was like the rug got pulled out from under my feet.
My dad knew he had a ticking time bomb in his chest, and he just didn’t care enough about himself to do anything about it. The heart attack that killed him that day was not his first. He’d had one 12 years earlier and was told if he did not take better care of himself, if he did not stop drinking, it would kill him.
That death sentence also wasn’t quite enough for him to go after his true life dreams. Well, that’s not entirely true. In the years that followed his first heart attack, my dad and I repaired our relationship. He attended the Broadcast School here in St. Louis so that once he hit retirement, he’d start a second career, the one he’d wanted to do since he was a young boy growing up on Cardinals baseball of the early 60s – professional sports broadcaster.
My dad spent most of his adult doing what he didn’t love, in hopes that someday he’d get to finally live the life he’d always wanted. It tore him up. He lived life in such fear of doing what he loved, never believing it was possible for him.
And watching him never get there – that’s what changed my life. This realization that we only have this one life, and we only have this one body, so we better take the best care of it possible. Not because we need to look rockin’ in the bikini come summertime, but because we were made to be and do amazing things and we need a body healthy enough to allow us to do that.
And that each day we are here is a freakin’ gift from God, and rather than wait for someday, let’s live our life to the fullest each day we can!
That, I can thank my dad for. In his death, he gave me one of his greatest gifts.
To stop waiting to live my life.
And in the past two years of studying brain science, and neural pathways, and neurotransmitters, and dopamine response, and insulin resistance. All good stuff, all important stuff on this health journey.
In these past two years of studying the why we do what we do…I haven’t talked as much about living life…Now…to its fullest.
I have mentioned it. I’ve encouraged you to love yourself now, rather than wait.
I have my Basics of Self-Care eguide. My 10 favorite ways to practice amazing self-care.
But what about Joy. What about… Pleasure….
I realize now that at the end of November, when a client showed me her daily journaling sheet, and I asked if I could modify it to share with other clients, I renamed it….”Live Each Day.”
At the time, those were just the first words I could think of.
Not much thought went into it.
But the universe was clearly speaking to me.
Because that is what I want to teach my clients.
How to live each day, to the fullest. Now.
Before they hit their big goals.
Before they lose their weight.
Before they are the healthiest they can be.
Because learning to love ourselves now, in our self-sabotaging brokenness…that is the gold, my friends. That is the magic.
We think we have to wait to live our life to the fullest…
We’ve all used that language…
“When I hit my goal weight, I will…”
“When I’m thinner, I can…”
“When I get this figured out, then I can finally…”
Lean in, sisters.
You do not have to wait.
You do not have to wait until you are thinner, prettier, richer, more self-confident before you live your best damn life.
We have had it all backwards!! The fact is, you will see what you want to see in this world when you live your best damn life FIRST!
When you learn to love yourself first.
When you learn to believe you are worth it first.
We won’t learn to stop self-sabotaging by making our lives miserable.
By saving our joy for some future date!
We will learn to stop self-sabotaging by embracing joy now!
So joy and pleasure. They are sisters. Joy has a happiness connotation. Pleasure has more of a love connotation.
Both of them, I associate with a lust for life.
And that’s really at the heart of my making room for pleasure. It is a strong desire to live a full and rich life.
And we do not have to wait for that, we don’t need a special set of circumstances to make that happen.
We can do that now.
And so I invite you…to tap into your own lust for life.
To live a full and rich life now.
That as you are learning about creating new neural pathways.
As you are learning to reduce the dopamine response from sugar, and change habits.
AS you are learning the best ways that help your body lose weight and find health that works for you.
You can live a full and rich life now.
For so many of us, our life’s pleasure has come from food or other things that do not serve us.
Some people, pleasure comes from too much food, or alcohol, or Facebook, or Netflix, or shopping, or overspending, or sex.
We have come to see those things as bad.
None of those things are good or bad, but our overindulgence in them can be harmful to us long term.
But pleasure is an absolutely wonderful thing. Who doesn’t want to live a joy-filled life.
So how do we balance this?
How can we learn to eat what we need to eat to help our bodies lose weight and become more energetic, while also embracing our lust for life!
First of all, remember what pleasure is. And joy, for that matter!
Pleasure is a feeling. A one-word emotion.
And where do feelings come from?
Ding ding ding…Yes! Our thoughts! This is all part of the self-fulfilling prophecy model!
Pleasure and joy are both feelings, and they come not from the outside world, but from our own thinking.
So if we want more pleasure and joy in our in our life, we must first turn to how we think about things.
The exercise we did in last week’s episode is great for that. Take your mind to a place of incredible joy and pleasure, and focus in on what you might be thinking in that space.
This is the best!
I love this!
This feels good!
Lots of thoughts can create joy and pleasure.
But I almost think that the action line is a good place to figure out our thoughts.
So remember that our thinking creates joy and pleasure, but what are some pleasurable and joyful things you love?
This is where I want you to spend most of this week.
What do you Love to do?
I do think there is room for joy and pleasure in food. I have done this work long enough that I can find joy and pleasure in food and it doesn’t send me into a tailspin. It doesn’t turn into weeks and months and years of eating in a way that doesn’t serve me.
When you are just learning how to lose weight and learning how to live naturally thin, however, it can. This is a lot of the work with one-on-one coaching clients, getting them to a place where it doesn’t. It takes time.
So I want you to focus on joy and pleasure from a place outside of food.
What are things in this world that bring you joy and pleasure?
They can be free things, they can be expensive things.
They can be things. They can be experiences. They can be moments. They can be corners in your home, they can be colors, they can be animals, they can be people.
My list may look very different than yours! There are no right or wrong answers here! Some things that bring your joy or pleasure may include…
A spot in the house with your favorite blanket, favorite pillow, and some fresh flowers.
A favorite song.
Warm, wubby socks.
A day at the spa, or even just a mani and pedi.
A hot bubble bath by candlelight.
Seeing your favorite band – or any live performance.
Going to the movies.
Exploring new places.
Decorations in your favorite color.
Time with your favorite people.
Here’s what happens. We have these things in our life, and we don’t focus on them. Very few of us have sat down to think about what truly brings us joy and pleasure in our life, right now.
Or we hold them out ahead of us, as carrots. When I hit my goal weight, then I’ll finally…and then insert that thing.
What if you don’t need rewards for good behavior?
What if you love yourself now, what if you invite joy and pleasure into your life every single day?
We have been taught that joy and pleasure are rewards. That we have to earn it.
Wooo, then am I gonna blow your mind.
You do not have to earn joy.
You do not have to earn pleasure.
Some of you are twitching. I know it. I know it because I have dear, amazing friends who have been raised to believe that they cannot treat themselves until they have earned it. I have heard this myself.
So the third important point this pleasure conversation is to release your belief that you must earn it.
This is a thought error. You are welcome to explore where it comes from – I have done this with some of my clients, been able to trace that belief back – but the bottom line is that it simply is not true and does not serve you to continue to believe it.
What can you believe instead?
That you do not have to earn joy. You are a human being, born with inherent worth, and even in your darkest moments, you are worthy of self-love and joy.
That no matter what I do, I deserve to live my life to its fullest every day.
Rewrite that in your own words, with words that bring comfort – and dare I say joy – rather than anxiety.
Because that is the truth. If we are to live our lives to the fullest, every day, that means allowing ourselves to feel joy and pleasure when we are upset with ourselves, when we haven’t done what we wanted to do.
We can talk so much more on self-worth, self-love….and self-hatred and self-loathing. Oof.
Heavy topics, but I know so many of my clients, as well as myself, have had to work through our own self-loathing and believing that we weren’t deserving of our own love.
This is not necessarily easy to move past, but it is possible.
And one of the key ways we can do that is make room for pleasure in our life. Now.
So, remember that joy and pleasure are feelings, and feelings come from our we think.
If you want to feel more joy and pleasure in your life, take a look at your thinking.
Create a list of ways that you experience joy and pleasure. What brings you joy and pleasure in your life?
Have that list! Keep it in a safe place. Incorporate something from that list every day!
I’ve just decided right now that I will modify that Life Each Day journaling sheet to include just that! What joyful, pleasurable thing can you or did you do today!
Lastly, work on the belief system you may have that you don’t deserve joy and pleasure or that you must earn it.
Find your new belief about joy and pleasure. Take my words and make them your own.
This can be something you journal on those days when you are struggling to allow yourself joy – because a client said no. Because a deal fell apart. Because you didn’t eat per your plan. Because you haven’t hit your goal weight for the week.
All there reasons we beat ourselves up.
Not only can we still allow ourselves pleasure and joy, but dare I say….the more we need it in those times!
The more our circumstances are not in our favor, the more we can choose joy by allowing it.
So your action item this week is creating that list.
What brings you joy and pleasure. Know what rocks your socks off.
And then, bring your list to our community! If you didn’t catch it, the Business Women Losing Weight community has a community! Continue the conversation, and join the Facebook group – just search Business Women Losing Weight on Facebook, or go to www.amylatta.com/bwlwtribe and it’ll take you right there!
I can’t wait to hear how you make room for pleasure in your life!
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And lest I forget, I want to give a shoutout to my good friend Holly Murray! Do you all need a bookkeeper? Because Holly is a bookkeeping badass! She’s the owner of Metro West Accounting, and has like all the QuickBooks certifications – I don’t even know what that means, but she’s amazing! She does not do your taxes, she turns everything over to your CPA so that process is smooth as silk! And she’s the woman business owner of the week! Here’s what Holly said about Business Women Losing Weight in her iTunes review:
“Amy is a wonderful coach and these podcasts are wonderful. Amy has a good voice for a podcast, the content is relevant and fun. I will be listening to each one. Yay LattaLoves!”
Holly, I love that you said I have a good voice for a podcast because it will only get better when these braces come off later this year! Haha!
Make sure you connect with Holly and Metro West Accounting on Facebook!
If you want to be featured in the woman business owner of the week, please leave a review on iTunes and then email me your review title and a little bit about your business. And then I can share what you have written about the show and link to your businesses’ in the show notes.
Because we are building this tribe!
Alright, my Grown Ass Women! I believe in you. Are you ready to take the next step? Download your free Business Woman’s Jump Start to Weight Loss – yours completely free, just go to AmyLatta.com/quickstart.
And who do you know that needs to hear this episode? Share the show with her. Let her know there is help, there’s another way, and we are a growing tribe of Grown Ass Women locking arms, living their lives to the fullest, and who have her back all the way!
Alright, you have been listening to Business Women Losing Weight with life and weight coach Amy Latta. And until Next Week…let’s go do Epic Stuff.
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