Ep29: How to Get Anything You Want – Part 1

get anything you wantThe one where we talk about the first steps of how to tap into the power of your thinking to create, with purpose and intention, any result you want.

To view the show notes, ask a question, or leave a comment, visit www.AmyLatta.com/BWLW29.

Episode Show Notes:

We can set up all the plans and tap into productivity and commitment and create massive action plans, but the skill of mastering your brain is key to our success. In this episode, we are deep diving into the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Model or the SFP Model. Because it is always at work, even if we aren’t aware of it.
This episode will help you identify the parts of the model, and how to use it to create the result that you want.

It is a first part of a two part episode, so do not miss next week’s Episode 30.

What You Will Learn:

  1. The parts of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Model
  2. How and why our brains create our self-sabotage
  3. Practice using the model for yourself so you can Get Anything You Want

Books Mentioned (these are affiliate links):
The King’s Riches: Words of encouragement to enrich the soul by Tamarah West
**Winner of the Amy’s Favorite Things GIVEAWAY!

Action Item:

Start practicing the model. Do daily brain dumps and pick a thought and start modeling it, using the circumstance, thought, feeling, action, and result. Don’t be afraid to start someplace other than the T line. Play around with it. See how it works. Tap into a feeling or an action and work from there.
It’s okay if you fail. Masters still fail at times, no worries!

Take the next step and download The Business Woman’s Quick-Start Guide to Losing Weight:

Building Community:

Bring your question to me! Facebook Live every Friday at 8am central, for discussion and Q&A!

Episode Transcription:

You are listening to Business Women Losing Weight with Amy Latta, episode 29 – The one where we talk about the first steps of how to tap into the power of your thinking to create, with purpose and intention, any result you want. And HELLO 2018! Let’s Go!(Music) Welcome to Business Women Losing Weight, a community for fabulous women small business owners so laser-focused on building their businesses….they have been sacrificing their health! Together we’re going to get back your time, get back your energy, and teach you to live naturally thin.
I’m your host, Amy Latta, and I’m all in! Are you comin’ with me? Let’s take care of you so you can take care of business!

Hello my Grown Ass Women! How are you doing today! Sisters. It’s 2018.
It’s a brand new year. For the past few weeks, we have been talking about getting over perfection, learning to fail, focusing in on our Big Hairy Audacious Goal – or maybe your Big Hairy Ass Goal, I don’t judge!
Your word of the year, tapping into your commitment, and how to take massive action to get there. Cuz it’s all tied in.

And I’m going to take the next two episodes talking about how to create that massive action, no matter what you are feeling. Yes. Two whole episodes.
Because it’s that important.
It’s not that hard. But it’s also not easy.
It requires you to rethink how you approach things.
It requires you to rethink.
To literally change how you are thinking.
It’s also so powerful.
Because it’s the key to getting anything you want.

YES. You can get anything you want. The power is already inside of you, and I am taking the next two episodes to talk about how to tap into that.

Before we dive in, I want to say Thank You. To so many of you who have left podcast reviews, reviews on Facebook, recommendations on LinkedIn. It’s been an honor to read your words. I did not hit my goal of 100 podcast reviews by the end of year. I have 39 reviews as of New Year’s Eve. And let me tell you, I appreciate every last one.
And I so enjoy sharing them with you all here on the show, and promoting your businesses.
And I’m going to continue to do that, giveaway or no giveaway!
And speaking of giveaways….we have a winner for the Amy’s Favorite Things!
AH! It was so fun doing all the Facebook Lives, sharing my favorite things with you, promoting all the female-owned businesses that partnered with me.
It’s all be very fun and very exciting, but no more fun and exciting as it was to announce that author Tamarah West won it all! Tamarah is the author of The King’s Riches, Words of Encouragement to Enrich the Soul – isn’t that brilliant! I love her! And her words of encouragement! And you can get your copy on Amazon! I’ll link to it in the show notes!
And here is the review that Tamarah left for the Business Women Losing Weight show:

“Amy helps me to see that change is totally possible and the power lies within me. Her heart to help others be their best selves shines thru in every episode. She is a slinger of hope and a deliverer of truth.”

Don’t mind me. I’m just over here getting all verklempt!
A Slinger of hope and Deliverer of Truth.
Someone put that on a t-shirt and take my money!

Thank you, Tamarah, and thank you to everyone out there in podcast land for your amazing words! And I’ll keep reading reviews and sharing your businesses on air here each week!

I was thinking about this episode and 2018 and our Big Hairy Audacious Goals and our One Word and all of that. That BHAG I have for my business and for my health will require such a mindset shift for me. It will be worth it, though, as we grow this Grown Ass Woman tribe, make connections with one another, support one another. I’ve been brainstorming all the ways to do just that, so do not hesitate if there is something that you’d love to see happen here! Because I making a list of all my ideas and I’d love to hear yours!

This is what I want. To grow this tribe. An unexpected outcome of the coaching work I did in 2017 was growth in my client’s businesses. Listen. I do not advertise myself as a business coach. I’m a life coach and a weight coach, with the fancy certifications and all, but my intentions are to help you, the business owner, get past your own self-sabotage and learn to take care of yourself so that you can better take care of your business. It stands to reason that your businesses would benefit from your improved health. I didn’t consider, necessarily, that the mindset work I do to help you stop self-sabotaging your health would result in such quick business success! Half my clients have seen huge growth in their business since working with me.

Holy shit.

So as I thought about this How to Get Anything I Want episode – well, soon to be episodes – I realized I don’t just want to help you all lose weight. I want you to Thrive. In health, yes, absolutely, lose that weight, get stronger. But also in relationships, and in business, and in spirituality, in whatever areas that are not currently at a 10 on that scale of 1 to 10 I talked about in the last episode.

This is so much more than Business Women Losing Weight.
I want Business Women kicking ass.
Business Women dominating in all areas of their life.
Businesswomen finding peace and confidence in themselves, so that they can dominate in all areas of their life.

And then, guess what happens?
My brain kicks in.
Our brains always kick in, right!

I was sitting there, thinking about all those things, and here’s what I started hearing, coming from my own head:
That’s an awful lot.
I’m not sure you can do all that.
You aren’t that special, ya know.
There are other people already helping in the world, the world doesn’t need your voice, too!

Yuck! Listen to that crap!
Remember. Our brains are jerks.
And the jerkiness always shows up right at the cusp of us going after something that we really really want!

This is the self-sabotage. It’s not because you are undisciplined.
It’s because your brain is a jerk.

And, well, even that’s not entirely true.
Your brain is not a jerk, though it certainly says some pretty jerky things to you.
Your brain is actually trying to protect you.
That pesky amygdala!
That fight or flight response!
That primitive area of the brain that isn’t entirely sure we don’t still live in a cave and there aren’t saber-toothed tigers waiting to pounce on us as soon as we step out.
Except the saber-toothed tigers now are just change. Any Change.
Especially big change.

So all that getting over perfectionism.
All that Big Hairy Audacious Goal stuff.
All that commitment and massive action.

That’s change. Big Change. To your brain, it’s terrifying change.

It happens so often that when faced with the possibility of going after anything that we want, our brain will start shouting, “Why change! Sure you are miserable now, but you may be miserable when you get there, too! Stay with the misery you know!”

The key to getting anything you want is realizing that we can learn to control that brain. We control our reality. That self-fulfilling prophecy model is always at work, even if we aren’t paying attention to it.
So how do you get anything you want?
Learn to manage that brain of yours.

And that requires a shift from being completely unconscious to what is going on upstairs in that brain of yours to becoming conscious. I have said it once, I’ve said it a million times. Awareness – as unsexy and unmarketable as that is – is half of this process.
The simple act of realizing everything that is going on in your brain – and not even trying to change it yet! – is huge.
Because most of us have lived unconscious most of our lives. Honestly, most of us will die that way.
Most of the people in your life will never become conscious enough to realize that they create their own reality.
They will not learn to take emotional responsibility for themselves.
Hey…they just ain’t Grown Ass Women! But you are. Or…are learning how!
So in this part one of How to Get Anything You Want, we are really looking at that Self-Fulfilling Prophecy model. It’s a great framework, and when you truly understand it, backwards and forwards, you will see that you can create anything you want in your life, no matter what is happening.

So grab a pen – or even better, your Brave Silly Worthy journal and your Grown Ass Woman pen that was part of Amy’s Favorite Things! – and write this down.
The parts of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Model – or the SFP – are this:
C for Circumstance
T for Thought
F for Feeling
A for Action
R for Result.

So your circumstances, create thoughts.
What you think about your circumstance.
What you think creates a feeling, a one-word emotion.
That emotion stirs action – what you do or don’t do when you feel that way.
And your actions always give your results.
What’s super fun, and what makes it self-fulfilling, is that your results are always based on what you originally thought.

So how to get anything you want? How to get any result you want?
Learn this self-fulfilling model. What do you have to Think about your circumstances in order to create the feeling needed for the actions you must take to get the results you want.

Now you will get this intellectually.
You will hear this and nod your head.
This is not new thinking.
This is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in the psychology world.
This is Change Your Thoughts, Change your Life stuff by Dr. Wayne Dyer.
This is Napoleon Hill and his Think and Grow Rich book from 100 years ago.
Even Aristotle, way back in the 300s…Before Christ 300s…said
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
Because our brain will think things that do not serve us.
I say that a lot.
“What does not serve you.”
It’s not that thinking is bad or good.
It’s not sugar is bad or good.
It’s not your habits are bad or good.
To me, what’s important is whether or not they serve you, meaning whether or not they get you the results that you want.

Remember, this is how to get anything you want. Part One.
In order to get anything you want, you must let go of what no longer serves you, which is what does not help you get what you want!

And your brain will think things that do not serve you all the damn time. Because it’s trying to keep you safe from the big bad monster outside the cave called CHANGE.

So none this is a new concept, and you are a super smart business woman, so you will absolutely get it intellectually. You will get in your brain.
But getting it in your bones. Moving it from the abstract motivational meme you see on Monday morning to actual reality.
That takes practice. That takes daily practice.
If you want to truly get anything you want, you will have to learn to manage your mind on a regular basis.
You’ll fail. A lot.
I do. Often.
Masters and beginners alike will struggle to separate Circumstance from Thought. This is, by the way, the biggest reason for one-on-one coaching, because having someone be your mirror as you figure this out is the greatest gift. Simply the greatest. You will hear me coach others and see it so simply and easily, and yet struggle to see it when it is you working through the model.
This happens all the time with my own life coaching. When I feel stuck, when I can’t seem to create what I need, it’s so obvious to others in our small group, but it takes one of my coaching friends to say, “hey, do you see that this thought is completely optional? You don’t have to think that.”
Doh! I didn’t see that. But I do now!

And it’s okay to not see it all the time. Be willing to study this and practice it and fail at it, and try again.

Let’s try some right now, really diving into what each of those parts really means.
So C is for Your Circumstances. These are the facts of your life. You will think these are your thoughts. They aren’t. If you asked anyone on the planet, they would all agree.
So “I weigh too much” is not a circumstance. That is a thought.
“I weight 200 pounds” is a circumstance. Because it is neither good nor bad. There is no judgement. You could step on a scale and gravity will do it’s thing, and the number will be factual. A jury of your peers would be able to all read the number and agree what it says.
The second part of this model is your Thought about that circumstance.
This is where a jury of your peers, who all agree on the number, may all have different ideas of what that number means!
Some will think it’s really high because they only weigh 125 pounds.
Some will think it’s really low because they weigh 250.

This is where everything you have been sure is fact, is not in fact….fact!.
I weigh too much.
I am fat.
Losing weight is hard.
I can’t do this.
I can absolutely do this.
This is easy.
I have fat.
I weigh exactly what I am supposed to weigh.

Each one of those statements is a thought. Can you see that?
And can you see that some of those thoughts will serve you and some of them won’t?
When you step on a scale and it gives you your weight, you have a choice in what you think. You have a choice in what you make that number mean. Just because most of us make it mean something terrible, doesn’t mean we have to continue to do that.

When you learn to tune into what you are thinking and that everything you think is optional. Boom, baby. That’s the freakin’ key to the universe right there.

So the first step is to notice what you are thinking. I coach my clients to do daily brain dumps. Just download all that random thinking onto paper in a journal. Get that crap from your brain onto paper. See it in black and white.

Then. Pick a thought. When you’re just starting….pick any thought. You’ll get better with time at picking the thought that is really driving everything, but we’re just starting, so don’t overthink this. Ha! Overthink. Something we do all the time yet don’t appreciate all the havoc it creates!

Just pick a thought.
Like “I weigh too much.”
Let’s run with that thought right there.

Notice how that thinking makes you feel. “I weigh too much.”
Can you put a one-word emotion on that feeling?
Feelings are not long paragraphs. That’s thinking. Feelings are one-word emotions.
Sad. Happy, Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Calm. Encouraged. Hopeful. Unstoppable. Desperate. Discouraged.
Negative thinking always creates negative feelings.
You can’t get blood from a turnip and you can’t creative positivity from crap.
I just made that up, and I like it!

I’ve talked about this before, but remember that emotion and feeling is just a vibration in your body. Emotion literally is derived from Latin, meaning Energy In Motion.
We are all energy, so when you are feeling emotions – those one words – you are feeling energy vibrating inside your body.
I coach my clients to tune into that emotion and pay attention to where you feel it.
Is it heavy, is it soft.
Is it fast or slow?
Where is it in your body, your head, or your stomach, I often feel mine across my chest and around my shoulders.
Feelings are much less terrifying when you realize they are simply vibrations, vibrations that cannot hurt you.

And those feelings are all coming from what you are thinking.
So when you think “I weigh too much.” How does that make you feel?
What’s your one-word emotion?

You may have any number of one words, pick the one that feels most right, that matches that vibration you feel in your body.
I weigh too much makes me feel…defeated. It’s heavy and slow, like a weight on my shoulders.

Alright, so what’s that next line?
The A.
Your actions.
So when you are feeling, however, you just described, what kind of actions will you take?
Your actions may be inaction. I find negative emotion almost always creates inaction in me.
Hiding. Laying on the couch and watching Netflix when I should be working out or meal planning.
So If I am feeling defeated…and before I even get started!
I am probably not meal planning or working out. Or any of the actions that I should be taking to get the results I want.
I am probably doing one of two things.
Eating. Because when I feel depressed or defeated, I will often eat to feel better.
Or doing absolutely nothing. Like. Nothing nothing.

So that last line of the model is Results.
What kind of results am I going to get from those actions, either eating to feel better Or doing absolutely nothing?
Either no change at all or even gaining weight.

Now, think back.
The Circumstance is weighing 200 pounds.
The thought was I weigh too much.
The feeling was defeated.
The action was eating and/or doing nothing.
The result is weight the same or even gaining weight.

Huh. Funny how that thinking, created that feeling, created that action, giving me the result of….wait for it…
I weigh too much.
Self-fulfilling cycle.

So I can choose to just stay stuck in that self-fulfilling prophecy model.

OR…I can decide to change.
YOU can decide to change.
First you have to see that! Right? Put that model on paper and see how your thinking is directly creating the results you have in your life.
Now…in order to get anything you want in your life…Decide to change how you think.

Create a new self-fulfilling prophecy model.
One in which you can put anything in the result line. RIGHT?
Put ANY THING in the result line.
And work it backwards.
What’s the “anything you want,” the Result?
What actions will you need to take to get that?
How will you need to feel in order to spur that action?
And what will you need to think in order to feel that way?

In part two of How to Get Anything You Want – I am going to dive even deeper into working the self-fulfilling prophecy model the other way. How to start with the end in mind. Start with the result in mind. And work it backwards in order to get to the thoughts that you need to start thinking.

This is from a training I just experienced from my life coach and she blew my mind. I mean, I knew we could plug anything into the result like and work our way backwards. But she had a way of doing it that really resonated with me, and I’m sharing it in the next podcast.

So for right now…our action item of this week…is learning how to use the self-fulfilling prophecy model.
If you are new to the show, I always want to leave you with an action you can use. This is a learning podcast.
I want you to not just listen and think “Oh, isn’t that nice.” But actually, apply what you are learning.
You will absolutely get faster results by working one-on-one with me, but you can still learn and grow and accomplish so much just by tuning in each week and doing the action item of the week that I share with you.

So again…this weeks’ action item is learning how to use the Self-fulfilling prophecy model. Or The SFP Model.
Your Circumstance.
Your Thought about that Circumstance.
The Feeling that thought creates.
The Action you take when you feel that way.
The Result you get when you take that action.
And your results should always confirm your original thought.

Sometimes you will shift models. Sometimes it won’t work out.
Sometimes you can’t tune into thought, but you can feel the feeling.
Sometimes you are completely unconscious of the thought and feeling, but you can see the actions your taking.
Modeling your thinking doesn’t have to be linear at all.
But just learning this level of awareness will change your life.
I am not exaggerating. It will change everything. It’s changed mine completely.

It will take practice, you may not be very good at it at first.
But you can absolutely get anything you want by learning this skill.
This skill of managing your brain.
Of managing your mind.

Don’t you wish they would have taught you this in grade school?
No worries, you can teach your children right alongside you.
This is how we can change the world, together, by learning how to get anything we want by learning how to manage our own minds, and teaching that to our children so they can do the same.

Fucking. Brilliant.

Please please please, let me know how you’re doing on this.
You can leave a comment on the webpage for this episode, send me an email, connect with me on Facebook, leave a review.
Let me know if you’re falling flat on your face or getting the hang of it.

One thing I want to make sure of is that you are subscribed to this podcast.
Wherever you are listening to the Business Women Losing Weight podcast, please make sure you hit the Subscribe button, because I am planning on some webinars and workshops on helping you get better at using the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy model.
And I will be announcing webinars and workshops in bonus episodes, and sharing the audio of the trainings as additional bonus episodes. And only those people who are subscribed will know about them, as they won’t be regular Tuesday episodes.
I did a training back in October I am going to release as a bonus episode, and will be doing more this month, so hit that Subscribe button and stay tuned!

I cannot wait to see the work we do together in 2018. It’s going to be brilliant.
We will all be Unstoppable as we train together in how to manage those brains of ours!

And again, thank you to everyone who has left reviews as entries into the Amy’s Favorite Things GIVEAWAY – my favorite things are still available from our partners business owners. So grab yourself a 30-ounce stainless steel tumbler and a new journal and kickass pen this week!

And tune in each week as I promote you fellow woman business owners by sharing what you have written about the show and I link to your businesses’ in the show notes.
Because we are building this tribe!

Alright, my Grown Ass Women! I believe in you. Are you ready to take the next step? Download your free Business Woman’s Jump Start to Weight Loss – yours completely free, just go to AmyLatta.com/quickstart.
And who do you know that needs to hear this episode? Share the show with her. Let her know there is help, there’s another way, and we are a growing tribe of Grown Ass Women who have her back.

Alright, you have been listening to Business Women Losing Weight with life and weight coach Amy Latta. And until Next Week…let’s go do Epic Stuff.

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About Amy Latta

Amy Latta is a life coach helping female entrepreneurs lose weight. Some entrepreneurs struggle with not enough time and not enough energy, and are so laser focused on growing their businesses, they sacrifice their health - not realizing their personal health is imperative to the health of their business. Women hire Amy to help them get an extra hour or two back in their day while figureing out why they don't do what they say they're going to do. The result being more time, more energy, and weight loss. When she's not building her own business, you can usually find Amy on her yoga mat or experimenting in the kitchen. When in doubt, bring her guacamole.

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